What Toxic Workplaces Taught Me About Self-Worth and Leadership When They Couldn’t Handle My Light
- Brainz Magazine
- May 5
- 4 min read
Written by Monserrat Menendez, Interior Designer
Monserrat is an entrepreneur, interior architect, and sustainability advocate, as well as the founder of Senom Design, a firm dedicated to merging innovative design with sustainable solutions. With over a decade of experience across residential, commercial, and international projects, she specializes in bringing clients’ visions to life through thoughtful, high-impact interiors.
“I wasn’t fired for doing a bad job. I was fired for doing it too well, too visibly.” Here’s what years of experience in toxic work environments taught me about leadership, ego, and the power of knowing your worth.
It started with the red flags we’re taught to ignore
Over the years, I’ve worked with companies across industries, from boutique firms to global brands, and in all that time, I’ve learned one truth: when you shine too brightly in environments not built for growth, your light will be treated like a threat.
One job I took seemed like the perfect opportunity, creative, structured, promising. But the moment I started to build real connections, using my strengths in networking, relationship-building, and public representation, it shifted.
After a successful charity dinner, where I proudly showcased what I brought to the table, I felt energized. So did the team or so I thought.
The next day, I was fired.
No warning. No clarity. Just vague mentions of “diminutive behavior” that weren’t even in the company’s own guidelines.
The real issue? I was shining in a way they couldn’t control. Instead of inviting me in to help grow the company, they shut the door and used policy as a weapon.
This wasn’t the first time.
The CEO who thought maternity leave was too generous
I once sat in a meeting with a founder and CEO who boldly stated that maternity leave in the U.S., which is already shockingly short, was too long and damaging to the company’s bottom line. In his view, there was no room for flexibility when it came to the “business suffering.”
In another instance, a CEO I worked with had no compassion when a colleague caught COVID or lost a family member. The response? “Just show up and do your job.” Full stop.
It became clear: human needs, emotions, and lives were seen as inconveniences, not realities.
The time HR said, “Boys will be boys”
At a large international brand I once worked for, we didn’t even have an HR department. When I reported my male manager for mixing medications and drinking on the job, while also making misogynistic remarks, I was told to brush it off.“Boys will be boys,” they said.“Don’t bother us again with something like this.”Let that sink in.
Not only was I dismissed, but the harm was normalized. And without an HR department or support structure, there was no path for accountability or protection.
Women competing against women: The quiet undercurrent
As painful as top-down neglect is, the peer-to-peer sabotage can cut just as deep. I’ve experienced situations where women who should’ve been allies undermined each other. Remarks like “Why her and not me?” echo louder than you’d think. Instead of celebrating a peer’s success, it became a whisper war of jealousy and scarcity.
This scarcity mindset isn’t just unhealthy, it’s a direct result of workplaces that reward silence, submission, and competition over collaboration.
So, where do we go from here?
After these experiences, it would be easy to disengage. To assume all workplaces are the same. To play small. But I refused.
Because here's what I’ve learned:
Knowing your worth is not the same as having an ego.
Your worth isn’t defined by your title, your salary, or how easily others can digest your confidence. It’s in your values, your talent, your consistency. It’s the part of you that doesn’t shrink just because someone else is uncomfortable with it.
And yes, there will always be someone smarter, more experienced, or more refined than you. That’s not something to fear. That’s someone to sit next to. That’s an opportunity to grow. Rub that knowledge off of them. Learn everything you can.
“If someone in the room intimidates you with their brilliance, don’t leave—lean in and learn.”
Leadership isn’t loud. It’s humble. It’s present.
Real leadership isn’t about outshining everyone. It’s about being aware, of your actions, your words, your power. It’s about lifting others, even when no one’s watching. And it’s about being unafraid to say, “I don’t know,” or “Teach me.”
If you find yourself in a place that doesn’t honor that version of leadership, you have every right to leave.
You are not difficult. You are not “too much.” You are just not in the right room.
“Leadership isn’t volume. It’s humility, awareness, and action.”
Final thoughts: Build your own table if you must
If there’s one piece of advice I’d give to anyone navigating this messy, complicated work culture, it’s this: go for the least toxic option. Use it to learn. Then create your own thing. Something real. Something kind. Something human.
Work with purpose. Lead with empathy. Let your integrity be your loudest legacy.
Monserrat Menendez, Interior Designer
Monserrat is an entrepreneur, interior architect, and sustainability advocate, as well as the founder of Senom Design, a firm dedicated to merging innovative design with sustainable solutions. With over a decade of experience across residential, commercial, and international projects, she specializes in bringing clients’ visions to life through thoughtful, high-impact interiors.
She is the U.S. Brand Ambassador for U Green, an organization that helps companies become more profitable while empowering people and brands to follow a consistent path toward sustainability through transformative education and specialized consulting. As an Executive Contributor to Brainz Magazine, she shares her expertise in design, sustainability, and innovation. Her mission is to create spaces that are not only beautiful but also responsible and forward-thinking.
