Written by: Ranya AlHusaini, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You repeat stories inside your mind according to a certain belief you have grasped from childhood. The stories are nothing but a restrictive script dictated by your parents of what you should, would, could be in your life. You keep listening to what you should look, feel or act according to the script you have detected from your upbringing. A child has the ability to absorb the energy from the language that was repeated to them, which in return can sculpt an image of how they can react to different moments. Restrictive language during your early upbringing can remind you of painful memories you loath to remember. However, what you loath to remember and conceal under the carpet of life can reflect in the language you use while talking to yourself. Note down – restrictive parenting style can directly destroy the child’s self-esteem. Parents using should, could, have to, supposed to, obliged to while instructing or directing a communication with a child can result in a rebellious – contradictive personality.
Hence, the way you interpret situations is based on: how you judge your own experiences, beliefs, core-values, upbringing or cultural history. The interpretation you give to certain situations are uniquely specific to your own perspective.
The interpretation you label certain experiences has an individualistic flavour to you. Once you understand clearly what is the meaning behind the limiting belief your mind is repeating can raise your consciousness toward mindset transformation.
Below are Seven limiting beliefs repeated throughout generations. Those beliefs can be distinctively unique in meaning to each one of you – however the below narratives were commonly described by a percentage of them:
I am destined to be alone, or people always leave me: One of the primal fears you experience in early childhood was an absent mom. This fear has left a painful mark in your mind. You were pushing yourself to accept her difficult treatment by compensation. With her difficult treatment, your mom never stopped giving you negative remarks, like: naughty, evil, butthead, scumbag, bad and so on. Remember, emotions always win, and with time, your mom’s absence urged you to build a defensive wall against any flickering signals of betrayal, abandonment or personal relationships bumps. In return you started to prefer being alone rather than dealing with relationship crisis. Your mind kept repeating – better alone than dealing with the misery of a broken heart. The symptoms of your fear from being left alone can range from: waiting for invitation from people to events a proof for your own popularity, and justifying your jealous responses.
My people come first: Right at this scenario you have grasped a strong belief from your childhood being selfish is not socially approved. In response you were always referred to as: self-centred and irresponsible, which in return built inside you mountains of guilt, blame and shame. However, listening to these labels made you feel ashamed of yourself. With time you started to compensate yourself with everyone, and push yourself harshly toward serving others first. As you grew older you became the last on the list. Attending people’s need first can leave more for resentment in your heart in response to people’s ungrateful comments or unthoughtful behaviour. At this corner you think and believe strongly that your effort should be paid off, if not disappointment is on its way. This can show in your daily dynamics with doing favours, and being generous with others. However, giving more than receiving can lead to greater disappointment in life, or can result in hard felt feelings like: grudges, resentment, and burnout.
I am not good enough: At this scenario you always think you are not enough to be someone valuable. You somehow got a notion that you are defective, and people dislike you for being different. With a strong belief from early childhood, you became sceptic to people’s opinion and overly sensitive to people criticism. The more you receive these comments the more you believe that you are not enough. With time you started to grow a ravenous heart for being enough, wealthy, rich, and full to fill the void inside you. Unsatiable hunger urged you to overly fill your heart, pocket, life and cabinets. Signs like – Self-sabotaging, not standing the challenges of life, hoarding, fear of success can signify how much you feel you are not enough!
I can do it all: A woman is a sensitive being no matter where she stands in life. Her innate instinct is to take care of family, breed and shower her loved one with care. Fast-forward, the fast-paced lifestyle required women to jump the wagon, tie her ribbons and run the rat race to survive, stabilize and build a safe place. However, the more she becomes independent the more she loses her soft touch, and grace. Other reason why a woman would rely more on herself would be facing a sudden traumatic event that left her alone. The burden from this memory taught her never to trust anyone but her own hands. Signs of adapting I can do it all by myself – domineering and controlling your situations, obsessive compulsive disorder, and attracting those who rely on you your strength.
I am not Lucky: Repeating to yourself – I am not so lucky – can diminish self-confidence. Remember, what you repeat religiously becomes a part of you, and this part becomes your whole life scenario. If you believe you are not lucky then this limiting belief can attract all the obstacles, struggles and hardship. Being contaminated with such belief can lower your vibration until you feel it down in your heart. Your self-talking either push you forward or pull you wayward, and it’s up to you to choose the right type of vocabulary to raise your vibrations. Some of the signs for believing you are not lucky are similar to– comparing yourself to others, rating yourself with other people progress, counting your failures as the end of the game, victim mentality, feeling hopeless and helpless toward your circumstances, magnifying your hardships, sparing a lot of rumination on your bad luck.
I am stupid: This limiting belief is a compilation of several traumatic past events of how you never got things right. Being labeled as stupid can always confirm how you shouldn’t rely, trust or even try new opportunities just because you never got things right! The more you listened the stronger the confirmation was. Signs of such thinking pattern can lead to imposter syndrome, comparing yourself to others, unrealistic standard, and low self-esteem.
I hate myself: At this scenario you were harshly judged by people around you, especially those you cherished the most. You relied on them emotionally. You placed them high, right and devotedly held a pure intention toward them. In return, the same people crushed your vulnerability with harsh labels like: bad, fat, different, ugly, odd, stupid and miserable. Listening to these negative labels day and night made you believe and think If your closet knit never loved you, why would anyone else do. However, some signs can signify how much hard and hateful you are toward yourself – such as: all or nothing type of scenarios, focusing on the negative side, considering your feelings as fact, harsh self-criticism, and setting unrealistic expectations.
Ranya AlHusaini, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
This is Ranya AlHusaini – a mindset transformation guru. My mission is to motivate professional women to unlock their self-worth and live a balanced life. With so much curiosity, and self-awareness I have developed my way with strength and determination. My expertise was well maintained as I took years to understand and develop my own through different modalities, and from there I understood human's nature and reaction. The modalities I use and consult throughout the session are NLP, Rapid transformation Therapy technique, and Hypnosis. So if you want a switch, or a makeover in your life hop in for a mindset transformation session! I have attached a photo of myself as well!
