What Is Gratitude and How to Practice it in 4 Simple Steps?
- Brainz Magazine
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
Eva Gordon works with individuals, families, and organizations to promote safety, well-being, and self-care. Eva is the founder and director of Life Guide LCSW, P.C., a mental health practice providing psychotherapy and community mental health education.
Thanksgiving was a few weeks ago, and we can continue with gratitude beyond Thanksgiving since gratitude is a healthy habit to maintain. Most importantly, the end of the year is coming, and it’s good to reflect on how your year was for you. It can be hard to be grateful if you've been laid off or are experiencing the loss of a loved one. Everyone might not have family to celebrate with, which can impact gratitude. For those of us who have been without a job for a few months or years, we could have a challenge in seeing the bright side of life. Gratitude is a fantastic way to have a healthy perspective on life, looking at the brightness of things.
What is gratitude?
According to Positive Psychology, gratitude is an emotion similar to appreciation. In addition, it’s also a trait and a state of being. Positive Psychology added that gratitude decreases when some people see possessions and health as expectations and not as blessings of appreciation. Gratitude is imperative to social well-being, mental well-being, and emotional well-being.
Now that we have defined gratitude, let’s focus on ways to achieve it. These 4 steps can help you carve out a personalized routine to achieve gratitude, to end the year, and begin the new year with a healthy perspective:
1. What's going right in your life right now?
When everything feels like the world is falling apart at the seams, focus on what you do have that makes life worth living, physical health, home, job, family, friends, etc. It’s quite easy to take things for granted when the world feels heavy. You might feel like you’re carrying a boulder on your back or trying to push the boulder off your chest so you can breathe.
When you feel the weight of the world, figure out the one thing in your life that feels light. The weight of the world is being carried mentally, which impacts your ability to focus, feel, and be present. It is important to be mindful and aware of what is working. Focus on the small stuff, where all five senses are working. If you are able to see the sunrise and sunset, the smell of coffee in the morning, the hand or hug from a loved one, listening to jokes from someone, or tasting your favorite meal at dinner. If you look at these simple things, it means you have gotten through another day. It is crucial not to take small things for granted, since some people might not have all five senses. When we do not acknowledge the little things, we miss opportunities to appreciate life entirely.
2. What can you control?
When life feels out of control, focus on what you can control. This helps you realize that you do have power when things in your life are taken out of your hands without consent. When the world feels heavy, powerless and hopelessness could settle into our minds, bodies, and spirits. Powerlessness happens when we assume we have nothing to do with the outcomes or futures. We give up on figuring out or discovering new ways to solve problems or gain new perspectives. Hopelessness stems from not seeing a way out of your problems or current circumstances. Things seem like they will always be this way, and nothing will ever change.
Related article: Gratitude - A Mental Health Game Changer
This means that hope and empowerment are necessary to regain control in your life. Hope means that you are expecting things to change by planning and recognizing what you can control, which is how you respond to a situation or person. People feel powerless and hopeless when they are hoping things would turn out the way they wanted them to. This means we must learn to pivot or adjust when things are not working in our favor. A lot of people are looking for others to solve their problems, but what needs to be done is to ask for help with their ideas. When things are out of control, it’s time to dig deep within ourselves to discover what we need to face unforeseen changes, reconnect with others, and build a community.
3. Focus on your strengths
What are you good at in life? There are times in life when one experience must end for another one to begin. The layoff might happen for you to focus on your passion or skill set and develop into a new career path. This ties into feeling out of control and powerless. Recognizing your skill set and strengths creates empowerment and hope that you can impact and create a solution to what is plaguing your life right now.
Knowing your strengths gives you permission to explore the good things about yourself when doubt and fear invade your environment. Your strengths could be event organizing, cooking, writing, car maintenance, arts and crafts, good listener, patience, or encouragement.
If you’re starting your career, make sure you know your strengths before you get to the job interview. As a former program manager and supervisor, this question is asked to see how you could add value to the company. No matter how small it may seem, your strength could make a difference between you and another job prospect. Knowing your strengths before a job interview gives you a confidence boost that eases your nerves and helps you rise to the challenge.
4. Reflect on the experience(s)
One key habit that is missing today is self-reflection. This habit needs to be normalized without going on social media. It means you sit by yourself alone or with someone and think about your experiences. Reflection has no limitation, and it could be about a layoff, breakup, illness, a new connection, dinner with an old friend, or going back to school. As we face the end of the year, self-reflection is needed to prepare for the upcoming year. Many people remain stagnant due to a lack of reviewing the year in depth without distractions. Self-reflection is best at nighttime, or at bedtime, to ease your mind and reduce stress. Nighttime could be best since the world is less busy at this time and there won’t be as many distractions, i.e., phone calls or daily tasks.
You can use self-reflection for the prior steps, as those steps require some focus and mindfulness to achieve gratitude. Self-reflection is a wonderful way to end the year on a positive note, even if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one or coping with a sickness.
Gratitude may sound too simple for some people, but simple things are needed regularly, especially during tough times. The simple things in life make life manageable when life feels imbalanced and impossible. You can make gratitude a habit by writing down daily one thing you’re grateful for.
If you want to start practicing gratitude, schedule a consultation with me on how you can learn these tools in psychotherapy sessions.
Read more from Eva M. Gordon, LCSW
Eva M. Gordon, LCSW, Psychotherapist and Mental Health Consultant
Eva M. Gordon, LCSW, is the founder and director of Life Guide LCSW, P.C., a mental health practice providing psychotherapy and community mental health education in the New York City area. Her focus is on providing mental health treatment to the Black community as a source of healing and hope. She mainly works with Black professional women ages 30 and up who struggle with unhealthy relationships. The goal is to help these women recognize that self-care is their birthright and not a privilege. Eva uses several strategies, including exploring behavioral patterns, emotional management, and understanding how multiple factors contribute to a person’s mental health during their lifespan.
