What Am I Really Teaching My Child? — The Power Of Modeling Behavior
Written by Emily Najemy, Parent Coach
Emily Najemy is an aspiring thought leader in the realm of conscious parenting, and challenges consumers to explore and discuss the systems and institutions that strongly call for corrective parenting re-education.
In a world filled with constant hustle and conflicting advice, the impact of our daily actions and choices on our children can be profound and often overlooked. This article delves into the hidden lessons we impart through our behaviors, exploring how these unconscious teachings shape our children's values and future.
The power of modeling — Why your behavior speaks louder than words
As parents and caregivers, we strive to raise children who are compassionate, resilient, empathetic, considerate, and responsible. We teach them right from wrong, offer advice, and set boundaries. And often, the most powerful lessons are not the ones we teach with words—they’re the ones we teach through our actions. Children are keen observers at heart, and they absorb the behaviors of the adults around them, often imitating what they see long before they understand the words they hear.
The importance of modeling behavior
When we talk about modeling behavior, we’re referring to how our actions, attitudes, and reactions shape our children’s understanding of the world. This is important because children are neurologically wired to learn by example. They look to their parents and caregivers to understand how to navigate emotions, relationships, and challenges. If a parent consistently demonstrates patience, empathy, and consideration, a child is likelier to adopt these qualities. Conversely, if a child regularly sees anger, dishonesty, or impatience, these behaviors can be learned and implemented.
Actions speak louder than words
Why do behaviors communicate more strongly than words? It’s simple: actions are tangible. Children might not always remember what you say, but they will remember how you made them feel and how you behaved in certain situations. When a child sees a parent handle stress with calmness, they learn that difficult situations can be managed without losing control. If a parent treats others with respect, the child learns the value of empathy and kindness. Words alone are not enough to instill these values; they must be consistently backed by actions.
Reflecting on your child’s behavior
When your child exhibits certain behaviors—desirable or undesirable - it can be helpful to reflect on what they might have observed from you. Are they acting out because they’ve seen you express frustration in a similar way? Or are they showing kindness because they’ve watched you offer support to others? This doesn’t mean blaming yourself for every challenging behavior, but rather understanding that your actions have a significant impact.
How to model positive behavior
Be mindful of your actions: Take time to consider how you react in different situations. Are you modeling the kind of behavior you want your child to adopt? If not, think about what changes you can make.
Acknowledge mistakes: No one is perfect, and there will be times when you don’t model the best behavior. When this happens, acknowledge it openly with humility. Let your child see that making mistakes is part of being human and that it’s important to take responsibility and learn from them. Adulthood does not mean achieving perfection.
Practice what you preach: If you tell your child to be patient, demonstrate patience in your interactions with them and others. If you value honesty, ensure that your actions reflect that value in all aspects of your life. The list goes on!
Model self-care and emotional regulation: Show your child that taking care of oneself and managing emotions in healthy ways is important. This can include practicing deep breathing, taking breaks when stressed, or seeking help amongst loved ones or professionally when needed.
Conclusion
The behavior you model is a powerful tool in shaping your child’s character and values. By being mindful of your actions and the example you set, you can guide your child toward becoming the kind, resilient, and responsible person you hope for them to be. Remember, it’s not about being everything or perfect, but about striving to be the best role model you can be, knowing that your actions speak louder than any words ever could.
Emily Najemy, Parent Coach
Emily Najemy, as the owner of Soft Eyes Intentional Parenting pushes forward to bring about that corrective re-education to consumers through parent coaching services and providing access to proper resources and support to parents and childhood professionals alike. Her goal is to aid in the cultivation of sustainable future generations of humans.
