We Don’t See the World as It is, We See the World as We Are
Updated: Apr 19
Written by Sarah Veall, Transformational Coach
Sarah Veall is a transformational coach, inner child practitioner, and Reiki practitioner. She is the author of "Trust", a story of how she reconnected with her true essence and a state of wholeness and healed holistically, following a cancer diagnosis in 2020.
Every single one of us walks through life looking through a unique lens shaped by our upbringing, culture, education, experiences, relationships, disappointments, successes, fears, and hopes. That lens filters everything we see, hear, and interpret.
I hear people say things like, “That’s just the way it is,” or “If that happens, this will definitely follow,” or “People like that always…” These statements are often delivered as facts rather than interpretations.
What we often present as truth is actually belief. And belief is personal. Two people can experience exactly the same event and walk away with completely different interpretations. One person sees rejection; another sees redirection. One sees failure; another sees feedback. One sees a threat; another sees an opportunity. The event is the same, but the lens is different.
Our beliefs shape our thoughts. Our thoughts shape our feelings. Our feelings influence our behavior. And our behavior reinforces our beliefs. It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.
If I believe “People can’t be trusted,” I will scan the world for evidence to support that belief. I’ll notice every inconsistency, every broken promise, every delay in response. I’ll interpret neutral situations as suspicious. I’ll behave guardedly. And when someone senses that guardedness and pulls away, I’ll say, “See? I was right.”
The belief created the experience. But this isn’t about right or wrong; it’s about awareness.
We all have a worldview, and we all carry assumptions. We all have unconscious narratives running in the background, but the question is, are they serving us?
You don’t have to believe what I believe, and I don’t have to believe what you believe. Difference does not have to mean division. In fact, when we recognize that we’re each seeing life through our own lens, it can create space for curiosity instead of conflict.
Instead of saying, “That’s not true,” we could say, “That’s interesting; what’s led you to see it that way?”
Respect grows when we understand that another person’s perspective makes sense to them based on their experiences. It doesn’t mean we have to adopt it, but we can respect it.
As a coach, this is at the heart of my work. I’m not here to tell someone what to believe. I’m not here to impose my lens onto theirs. I’m here to help them explore their own belief system, consciously and unconsciously, and explore how it’s shaping their inner and outer world.
What do you believe about yourself? What do you believe about other people? What do you believe about success, failure, love, money, aging, relationships, and worth? And more importantly, what is the impact of those beliefs?
How do they affect your thoughts? How do they influence your emotions? What behaviors flow from them? What results are they creating in your life?
Sometimes a belief is empowering: “I can learn anything.” “Setbacks are temporary.” “I am worthy of respect.” These beliefs tend to create resilience, confidence, and peace.
Other times, a belief limits us: “I’m not good enough.” “It’s too late for me.” “People always leave.” “If I speak up, I’ll be rejected.” These beliefs can create anxiety, avoidance, self-doubt, and disconnection.
Many of these beliefs were likely formed years ago in childhood. Perhaps after one painful experience or absorbed from family, school, or society. They may have made sense at the time, and they may have even protected us.
But are they still true, or have we simply been conditioned to believe them? When a belief is not supporting someone to feel at peace, I gently invite them to question it. Is it absolutely true? What evidence supports it? What evidence challenges it? Who would you be without that belief? What becomes possible if you loosen your grip on it?
Challenging a belief doesn’t mean dismissing your past. It means recognizing that you have the power to reinterpret it. To choose a lens that is clearer, kinder, and more empowering.
We will never experience the world completely objectively. We are human. But we can become aware of the filters we’re using and pause before stating our interpretation as universal truth.
When we accept that we see the world as we are, not as it is, we become more compassionate, curious, and less reactive.
And in that openness, there is peace.
Read more from Sarah Veall
Sarah Veall, Transformational Coach
Sarah Veall is a transformational coach, inner child practitioner, and Reiki practitioner. She is the author of "Trust", a story of how she reconnected with her true essence and a state of wholeness and healed holistically, following a cancer diagnosis in 2020. Sarah is passionate about empowering others to love their whole 'self' in order to access a state of wellness where the body can heal itself.
