Understanding Your Senses to Strengthen Communication and Connection
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 17
- 6 min read
Written by Carol Passemard, Executive Coach & Mentor
Carol Passemard is in the business of transforming lives. Her aim is to help clients discover their gifts, skills, and talents so they can make a difference in their own lives. Carol founded Breakthrough Retreat 20 years ago as a trainer in Neurolinguistic Programming, Timeline Therapy®, and Hypnosis. She is registered with ABNLP and ABH.
Are we losing our senses? Discover why it is important to keep our senses active, what they specifically mean to us, and how we can develop them in order to transform our communication skills and achieve the best results in both the workplace and our home life.
Look, listen, what’s next?
In part one, we explored the communication model and our visual and auditory senses.
In this second part, we explore our other natural senses:
Kinaesthetic (touch and feelings inside)
Gustatory (tastes)
Olfactory (smells)
Why they are important
What they might mean to us
How to engage and stimulate them in order to enhance our communication in both our professional and personal life
Kinaesthetics
Are you in touch with your feelings?
Test. Imagine yourself walking into a clothing store. What is the first thing you do? Do you immediately go and feel the fabrics before you decide what to buy?
If you unconsciously feel the fabric, then the chances are your kinaesthetic sense has kicked in. When you find an item that feels right for you, there will be that feeling of excitement inside.
Freddie’s story
When Freddie was a baby, his mother swaddled him in a soft, warm blanket before putting him down in his cot. By the time he was four years old, the blanket was one of Freddie’s most treasured possessions. He loved the feel of it, and it went everywhere with him.
Leading up to Christmas, Freddie's mother took him on an expedition to the city, a few miles from home, to do some last-minute shopping.
It was late in the day. Freddie was bored with the Christmas lights and decorations. All he wanted to do was snuggle up in his pushchair with his blanket.
Suddenly, there was a loud scream as he announced that his ‘Blankie’ was nowhere to be found. He had looked through all the shopping bags but could not find it anywhere. Tears rolled down Freddie's cheeks as he pleaded with his mother to go back and look for Blankie.
His mother was also tired and cross, but she agreed to spend fifteen minutes looking for Blankie. They retraced their steps and stopped at a newspaper stand to ask the man if he had seen it. He looked down at Freddie’s distraught face and the tears falling from his eyes. Then he asked, “What does Blankie look like?” (notice, he was a visual guy).
Freddie’s mother explained, “Oh, it’s a bit of a rag really, but the fabric is very soft and it means a great deal to my son. It was given to him when he was born.”
Freddie looked up into the man’s eyes. “But it’s got stars on it and I love the feel of it.” Another tear rolled down Freddie’s face.
“Just a minute,” the man said, and went around to the back of his stall. He returned asking, “Could this be your Blankie?”
Freddie was ecstatic, jumping up and down and laughing. He clutched his blanket as if being reunited with a long-lost friend. “Thank you, Mr. Newspaper man,” he said, causing both his mother and the man to laugh.
Learnings from Freddie’s experience
The touch and feel of a blanket that had been with Freddie all his life was something he was not ready to part with.
When he thought he had lost it, his world had come to an end. It may have looked like a rag to his mother, but not to Freddie.
Notice your feelings. While reading, were you touched by this story? Do you like to have possessions that feel nice to you, and do they spark emotions inside as you remember when you received them?
Feelings of touch and emotions inside are often intertwined with each other.
Conversely, you might have memories that make you feel angry, sad, fearful, hurt, or guilty. These are all negative emotions that we hold unconsciously inside us. Just the touch of something you don’t like may trigger a negative emotion or limiting belief.
How to improve your kinaesthetic sense
My aim is to help you discover positive feelings, things that make you feel good. In later episodes, we will go into more detail about negative emotions and limiting beliefs.
Exercise
Go for a walk in the countryside. Touch and feel different objects, as well as experiencing the sense of air on your face. How do they make you feel inside?
A fun thing to do is to try hugging a tree and feel the sense of life in that tree. How does it feel?
Warm or cold
Is the bark rough or soft and silky
Is it wet or dry
Can you feel any vibrations through the tree trunk
What else do you feel as a result of hugging a tree
Imagine how long it has been there and what experiences it may have had
Memories
Are there any happy memories when you walk in the countryside, touching stone walls, flowers, grass, and leaves?
Take a few deep breaths. Allow yourself to be at one with nature.
If you live in a town, go into a clothing store. Feel the texture of different fabrics and notice how they make you feel, particularly when you find something you like and experience that sense of excitement.
Learnings from Freddie’s experience
The more specific we can be by questioning ourselves about our kinaesthetic sense, the more we can get in touch with our own model of the world.
Then we can be in a position to become aware of other people's feelings
Their feelings will be different from ours
Remember our communication model, we are all unique
How is this exercise useful in relationships?
A visual person might say, “You have to see my point of view.”A kinaesthetic person might say, “You don’t understand how I feel.”
Have you noticed how they are using different words to express themselves? They might be discussing the same subject, but because their language is different, it can lead to a breakdown in communication. Then confusion occurs.
Until this couple learns to respect the language of each other's model of the world, they are unlikely to resolve their issues.
Gustatory and olfactory senses
Tastes and smells
Why are these important? Having an awareness of our gustatory and olfactory senses means we can keep ourselves safe from foods that might not be fresh enough to eat.Bad smells can alert us to smoke from fires or toxic chemicals.
We have become reliant on ‘best before’ dates for our food, leading to complacency. I wonder how often you taste or smell your food before deciding if it is good enough to eat or share with others.
When communicating with someone who loves their food or wine, the language of tastes and smells is crucial to gaining rapport with them.
(Although I am often curious about the number of chefs who choose to smoke, thus impairing their gustatory sense.)
This provides great examples to test out your tastes and smells, click here.
Conor’s story
My grandson, Conor, comes to stay with me for two weeks in the summer to attend a sailing course. He is fourteen, and we both love cooking programs. Every year, he chooses a series for us to watch during the evening. This year we watched an Iron Chef series.
Over the years, Conor has learned the importance of seasoning food when cooking.The look of food is only part of the story. If it does not taste or smell good, it is unlikely to be enjoyed.
Conor used to be a very fussy eater and his food likes were very limited. These days he is far more adventurous, and my only challenge now is to get him to eat fish. But at the moment, that is a step too far!
Exercise
A fun exercise I do with my grandchildren who may be fussy about their food is The Tasting Adventure.
At every meal, give them something different to try. Often the comment is, “I don’t like that.” The challenge is to do the tasting adventure!
It is surprising how it broadens their appreciation of new foods.
Lesson: Learn to speak the language of all senses
These exercises are useful for communication in your professional and personal life.
Review, improve, and develop your skills
Practice, practice, practice.
Be aware of those around you, do they express their feelings
Are they cooks interested in food and drink
Develop your language to use all your senses
You will find conversation becomes far more interesting when you speak their language
My next episode will be devoted to Talking to Ourselves. Could this be something you do?
Read more from Carol Passemard
Carol Passemard, Executive Coach & Mentor
Carol Passemard has gained many skills through her own life’s experiences. She is a trainer in Neurolinguistic Programming, Timeline TherapyⓇ , and Hypnosis. Her unique style of a 2-day intensive workshop helps people who are feeling stuck and unable to see the wood for the trees. They are often at a crossroads in their life. Carol provides them with an opportunity to get to know and understand themselves, whilst working in a safe environment. Often, clients say this workshop is an experience. It’s a place to get rid of negative baggage and learn new tools and techniques in order to make a difference in their personal and business life.
“Seeing things from another perspective has helped me massively.”
