Written by: Patricia Renovato, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A trigger is something that alters your mood, either in a positive or a negative way. It’s a type of experience that you can identify in repetition throughout your life. Triggers can be many things to different people and impact individuals in a wide range of depth. Most triggers are obvious, like not properly arranging the dishwasher or the sound of the crinkling of a potato chip bag. But some triggers are hidden, it’s a scar that was created a while ago that never healed properly and resurfaces every time it’s touched. The most interesting triggers are the ones that serve as reflectors, showcasing something about ourselves that we don’t like.
Basic triggers are benign events that put you in a bad mood, similar to a pet peeve. A contributing factor can be the lack of sleep; many parents of small children fall prey to this. The deprivation of sleep impacts our sensibilities and patience. A ten-second delay in line for coffee or a car cutting you off on your way to work can put you on a negative trajectory that will impact the rest of your day. You give life to these triggers. People are cutting people off all day (sometimes purposely or simply because they are bad drivers), someone is always being overly particular in line at Starbucks, your kid didn’t clean up their room, your husband left the toilet seat up, etc… Life is constantly happening around you, with very little influence from you, but how you choose to respond to it is the determining factor that sets forth what kind of day you are going to experience. If you succumb to it, you can find hundreds of small triggers throughout your day, little annoyances that can help you validate how horrible your day is.
We all have emotional scars that come to the surface completely unannounced and leave our heads spinning. These triggers last longer and can take some effort to process. It’s often associated with a part of your childhood that hasn’t been resolved or a fear that has not yet been addressed. Oftentimes, these triggers show up as people that remind you of your past and it can take you back to moments you’d rather forget. In some cases, these triggers were caused by past trauma like death or abuse and should be cared for with professional guidance. For me, an interesting deep-rooted trigger was about food. I always have food everywhere (in the car, in my purse, anywhere). Sometimes friends made comments about it and I always thought it was funny. And now that I have kids, I always make sure to have an abundance of snacks for them everywhere. I started to take notice of the jokes about me always needing food around and began to wonder about my relationship with food. It took me 2yrs to remember that as a child, I grew up in a household that believed in eating 3 big meals a day and with no snacks in between. Well, for me, that didn’t work very well because I’m much more of a snacker, and as a picky eater as a child, eating big meals never happened. So this meant that I was often hungry. As an adult, I subconsciously decided that I never wanted to feel hungry so I always surrounded myself with food. This self-awareness has allowed me to learn a lot more about my behaviors and make more conscious decisions. And ultimately work through my fears of going hungry.
The reflector trigger can be difficult to deal with because it reflects something back to us that we don’t like about ourselves but don’t yet recognize. It’s the trigger that people tend to avoid. Have you ever noticed that sometimes some people just rub you the wrong way? But have you ever thought long enough about it to find out why? I once had an acquaintance that provoked a feeling of uneasiness in me. I couldn’t understand why. I ran through the list of personality traits and behaviors of this person for years and it probably took me 5 years to finally realize what it was. This person lived her life without limitations, she did what she wanted, when she wanted; she explored. This is something I always wanted to be able to do myself but never gave myself the freedom to do. Once I realized this, I felt so much freedom. I felt free to be around this person without being bothered. And then I started to remove my own self-limiting blockers that had been preventing me from living the way I desired.
I developed a 3 step process that will help you identify, process, and reframe triggers in your life.
1. Feel and start labeling.
Take the time to observe the shift in your mood, notice what made you react and how you reacted. When you pause to reflect after a trigger, you are then able to identify these triggers. Typically people just keep pushing forward when they get into a bad mood and never actually try to process it, they just move on to the next task in a bad mood.
When you notice a trigger happening in repetition, it’s important to take the time to understand it so you can process it and set yourself free from it.
2. Process and make a conscious change.
Once you have given yourself space to feel and identify a trigger. You are now able to separate yourself from the trigger, you are no longer a victim to it. When the trigger shows up again, you are in full control of how to react to it. It may still upset you or make you angry, but you are at least making a conscious decision on how to relate to it. Over time, you will make choices that benefit you (allowing yourself to be anxious all morning because you were running 10 minutes late does not benefit you).
3. Use positive triggers to offset the negative ones. Have you ever noticed how your mood lifts when your favorite song comes on the radio?
Create a list of all the simple things in your life that quickly enhance your mood and use them when you encounter a negative trigger.
If you want to learn how to implement these ideas and be coached by me, you can email me at truepassioncompany@gmail.com.
Patricia Renovato, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
For over a decade, Patricia kept ignoring the growing sensation that she could do more to serve the world. It was daunting to think about dramatically changing her life without direction. After spending some time searching for the answer, Patricia found her calling as a Life Coach. This became the vehicle for her to facilitate the transformation of people who felt stuck in their life, not knowing how to begin a new journey. Patricia dedicates her time to connecting people with their genuine passion for living a passionate and purposeful life. Patricia’s innate ability to see people’s potential beyond their purview inspires clients to work through the inner blocks preventing them from living their dream.
