Transforming Struggles Into a Mission of Empowerment – An Interview with Actor, Patrick McNeil

In this interview, we explore Patrick McNeil's remarkable transformation from struggling with mental health to becoming a mentor for others. Through his platform, "The Confident Mental Head," he guides individuals to embrace their authentic selves, making lasting changes from within.

Patrick McNeil, Actor, Professional Wrestler, and Confidence Mentor

Who is Patrick McNeil?

Patrick McNeil is a spiritual being in a physical vessel here on earth, involuntarily moving forward through experiences, lessons, and a bevy of different feelings. He was born in August of 1989. He became very passionate about professional wrestling, television, movies, and skateboarding in the first decade of his life. Although he tried to make skateboarding his job at age 13, it became a hobby over the years, and he still rides to this day. Outside the business, Patrick is an actor professionally. Acting under the union ACTRA in Toronto, he is a professional wrestler who has wrestled all over Ontario, Canada, as of this writing in his career. This includes hardcore and deathmatch wrestling. When he was in his teenage years, he would make skateboarding and stunt films before he went to college for television and broadcasting, and also cinematography from 2011-2015. He used to be a frontman for black metal, death metal, and punk bands between 2010 and 2014 throughout college. He got a recurring role on the hit Canadian television series “Letterkenny” in the summer of 2015, which pretty much began his professional acting career. He has worked on a plethora of TV shows and feature films as a grip or electric behind the scenes, including “Letterkenny” and “Shoresy.” He struggled with a lot of mental health issues growing up, including depression, self-hate, suicidal thoughts and attempts, and hopeless, abusive relationships. Until 2018 rolled around, and he decided to work on his mental health and well-being thanks to a little wake-up call. Once he started that, he has not stopped. Yes, there were times when he slacked off on his mental health. Although today it’s a part of his daily ritual. He has created award-winning short films with some very close friends, who are also included in a few web series of comedy sketches he created, including “Plywood Mind” and “DSBTTV.” Patrick loves creating, writing, performing, and being actively involved in his life!

What inspired you to start The Confident Mental Head and focus on identity-driven change?

I started “The Confident Mental Head” because I have struggled with mental health in my past, as mentioned. I used to be very negative, lash out when I didn’t feel heard, hit myself to get attention, make fun of people for their misfortunes, and I have made attempts on my life because at those times I felt there was no other way. I thought, “I guess this is life, I can’t do it anymore.” I figured out I didn’t want death, I wanted change. One day in late 2018, an ex-girlfriend and very good friend of mine (Cassandra) told me that I need to take a look in the mirror and analyze some of my behaviour. Of course, I didn’t believe her, and I called her a name and brushed it off until I realized I was scaring her with said behaviours. This deeply shook me, and I felt so bad for doing that to her. From there on, I started with CBT exercises that led to DBT, and moving forward to therapy, all the way to the laws that govern us all. The confident mental head is a sort of tribute to her and dedication to myself because she has since passed away in 2022. I have dedicated a few eBook guides I wrote to her. She also struggled, although she was a guiding light to my mindset change. I truly don’t enjoy seeing people suffer after suffering a lot in my past, and if I can leave someone with value after having a conversation with them or watching my content, my mission is accomplished. I focus on identity-driven change because it’s the only way out of everything I’ve tried that shows different results. If you can identify with something you want in your life and you will do whatever it takes to get there, you will get that identity. Maybe not in the way that you envisioned, but you will get there with the right mindset and actions. Even though I was struggling at the time, I got on the television show “Letterkenny” in 2015 and was on the entire series and still actively act, and I had some kind of belief that I could, deep down. I stepped into a wrestling ring because I identified with being a wrestler. I try to live at the end of where my goals are through identity-driven change and teach that in ways I know how.

Why do most attempts at self-improvement fail, and how do you help people overcome that?

I have been in self-improvement and development for a very long time now. From what I’ve seen, most attempts at self- improvement fail because individuals feel inspired and motivated after watching a few videos. Then they try the hard thing(s) in those videos and get little to no progress. Their old brain and habits kick in, saying, “This is way too hard,” and they give up and go back to their old ways. People don’t set attainable goals, and they take action first while neglecting the fact that they still think a certain way. Change can’t happen with actions alone. Especially if you have a stressed-out nervous system. It takes a substantial amount of time to change your mind. It takes unrelenting hours of work on yourself. I tell anybody who comes across my content that this is NOT easy. If you truly want to change, you are going to have to face a lot of what is “scary” to most people. Changing your mindset is a DECISION, and it requires repetition. There are still things I am doing my best to actively change about myself for the better, even after all these years. You can’t just take a course on self-improvement for 90 days and then not continue the work after the 90 days and expect to have a forever-changed mindset. Cultivating a positive mindset is like working out to get bigger or stronger. You have to work out your brain just like you work out your muscles, and keep a consistent schedule to maintain it all. For your entire life.

What is the biggest transformation you help your clients or readers achieve?

The biggest transmission I focus on is helping individuals become more confident and authentic. If someone comes to me for advice, I try to notice what positives I believe they should be flaunting more in themselves by just talking to them. Also, what habits, paradigms, or negatives are holding them back from flaunting those positives 100% in their flesh? That looks different for everybody, and I try to respect that and the person’s pacing. As of this writing, The Confident Mental Head is only a little over a year old. I’m still a newbie in the personal development space, and I don’t mind admitting that. Despite that being a fact, I have had good reviews of my content. I have read some stories about how my content has changed some people’s lives. I’ve been told more than once that my videos speak to people. I have also heard that I am going in a great direction by talking about difficult subjects and mental health around my peers, co-stars, and other wrestlers I share the ring with.

How do your experiences as an actor and professional wrestler shape your approach to confidence and change?

Both of those jobs require an extreme amount of confidence. It sucks to see such talent out there sometimes talk so much shit about themselves when in reality they JUST did a scene with an A-list actor, or they JUST wrestled a match with a well-known name. They have no clue how confident they actually are in accomplishing what they just did. I think this is just skewed.

Although the person is trying to be honest about how they felt, I don’t think they understand that confidence is doing the damn thing DESPITE having those underlying feelings of doubt or fear. I think in both those industries, people mistake confidence for arrogance. I did for a long time as well. Then one day, I said internally, “I am allowed to be proud of myself and my accomplishments.” I don’t care what anyone says, you are allowed to be proud of doing what you said you would do. I repeated this over and over until it stuck. If I want to learn something new, I record it with my voice. Then repeat it on my headphones every day until it starts sticking, and I start noticing it. Even if I feel that I didn’t deliver a line the greatest, carry a scene correctly, or had a good match in front of a crowd, I have taught myself to give myself the credit for actually doing it. Despite my underlying feelings that day, and despite what I’ve heard in my past about my performances. Today, there are not a lot of days when I’m in a bad mental space when I’m in front of a camera or in the middle of a ring. I truly thrive and am grateful for every moment I get in both of those fields.

What makes your approach to mindset and personal growth different from other self-help methods?

I give it raw and unfiltered. There have been some people who have told me to take it down a notch on the swearing, and I understand that appeals to certain people's comfort zones, although that is cutting my authenticity off at the knees. I come from a different part of life where it is and was used to express yourself, and I stand by it. I grew up around punk and metal communities where it was cool to be self-deprecating. A lot of swearing and profanity. Self-deprecation may still work for some people, and I still have so much love, care, and support for underground music scenes, but talking shit about myself doesn't work for me anymore. It only works when I’m being a comedian and doing it for the sake of comedy. I pulled myself out of my depression and self-pity without the use of medications and chose unrelenting self-development and therapy. I now tell people that their words hold power and are moving them silently in directions they may not be aware of. In my world, there’s a time and place given what I do for careers. I did the standard therapies at the start of my journey, all the way to understanding the responsibility I have for myself from within, governing the laws of the universe. So, my approach to self-development has a wide range of information. It’s raw, and I will say four-letter words to explain myself. It is all based on experience, and those experiences can relate to a lot of individuals.

Can you share a story where someone’s life shifted after applying your principles?

I have had some great reviews and feedback from my eBook guides that I have written, and comments on my old YouTube channel. I particularly remember this one comment on a video I made about forgiveness. The individual said something along the lines at the beginning of her comment, “Are you saying I should forgive my father after years of torment and abuse? If so, give me some tips because I’ll give it a try since he’s trying to contact me.” and then went into further detail. I explained to her that her feelings are valid, what the possibility of what her father’s side was at the time, not excusing her pain from it all and being vocal about that, seeing that what happened to her was a lesson more than a tragedy to live from, and to try to stay in contact with her father. I wrote something along the lines of “forgiveness is always up to you, and it’s for you. It’s not for the other person. You are responsible for getting the weight off your shoulders for the sake of your own sanity. You cannot wait for others to change. You are the only one who is able to find forgiveness from within.” She commented back that my answer actually made her cry, and she felt accepted for her side. She also stated she was willing to give forgiveness a try for the sake of having a relationship with her father. That’s one story that stands out, and it’s the reason why I started confidence coaching. I want to help people see a different view of their suffering instead of romanticizing it and living their lives through the thoughts and feelings that their past gives them. We are not our past, and we are not our results because we can change our future.

What are the common patterns or habits that hold people back, and how do you address them?

I think fear is the biggest one. I had so much fear and a stressed-out nervous system for a long time. In school, my endeavors, things I tried. It was especially prominent around money and worthiness. From what I’ve learned, we all stem from a place of fear or a place of love. When I was coming from a place of fear, I had a lot of self-doubt. I would assume that all the things going well for me were going to eventually turn out badly. I used to always get in the way of myself and be like “what if THIS happens?!” and I would pull myself back. When I learned how to move through love, I started giving myself more kindness and grace as I was learning. Instead of treating myself like shit for not accomplishing something or something going my way, I’ve learned to tell myself to keep moving forward and learn the lesson in the results. Another common pattern and habit that holds people back is not letting go. Sometimes it feels like some people just can’t let go of their past or what makes them hurt.

They’re so used to it that if they dropped it, their entire identity would change. That creates a fear response. If I help anybody or talk to potential clients, I tell them that they always have a choice, but that choice comes with a decision to move differently and to leave their old life behind. We become what we think about dominantly, and we do things moving in that alignment based on that thinking.

What results can someone expect when they apply the methods from your books or programs?

The eBooks and programs I have can help start a mental health journey. Although I will always inform my clients that they must DECIDE they want change and to keep up with it. Permanent lasting change is a lifetime journey. If they don't decide, they won't do work outside of what I teach them, and that may create the tendency to go back to old identity, habits, and patterns they are used to moving in, creating another “mental health doesn’t work” case. This is a sort of chosen ignorance of the new knowledge because the old version of themselves was easier and more comfortable to navigate. If you do apply the methods in your life, you will start to see a change. As I said, this must be met with repetition and a ritual that works for the individual. You can’t just try something new to your brain, your nervous system, and your subconscious for one week and expect to be a brand-new man or woman. There are no shortcuts to mental health. There are no “hacks” to make the process speed up. A mental health journey is a one-size-fits-all journey, and that must be respected through the pacing and timing of that individual. What I wrote in my eBooks and programs are simple guidelines through my own experience on how to start or improve in certain areas of mental health. It gives new ideas or patterns of thinking that the individual may not have thought of as they go through their mental health struggles.

What would you say to someone who’s hesitant to invest in themselves and start the journey to real change?

I would tell them that whether they believe it or not, life is their choice. If you’re not willing to risk something to get a reward, then you’ll just stay stuck and feel stuck. You have to take a leap of faith and bet on yourself that you’re making the right decision to move yourself on the best possible path. Is it scary? Hell yeah. Are you uncertain of your results? Of course.

Although if you don’t do anything about your mental state and improving it, you will just get the same results, and you will call it fate. You must invest in yourself to expose the “dark side” of yourself with light. Your shadows. The things that make you fully you but were repressed because they made everyone else comfortable through that repression. I highly recommend that you invest yourself in a journey of change. Especially if you’re tired of the same thoughts, feelings, and actions bringing in the same results. Trust me, investing in yourself is one of the most satisfying things you will ever do. There’s an infinite number of timelines that you could be living on instead of the current one that you’re on right now. You can choose which one you want and build a road to success towards it. If a motherfucker like me can do it, then so can you. Whoever is reading this, I can fully believe in you because I fully believe in myself. If you want to begin your journey in confidence and authenticity, follow The Confident Mental Head on Instagram to follow along with Patrick’s journey.

Join the Facebook group, or the subreddit confidentmentalheads if you would rather those platforms. Also, check out Patrick’s Gumroad store to find guides on mental health topics.

Visit my website for more info!

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