Three Steps To Get You Started With Self-Leadership

Written by: Florence Dambricourt, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

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Here you are, strongly decided to get started on strengthening your self-leadership. Strengthening? Indeed, strengthening! Great news for us all. Self-leadership is an innate capability we all have. We just tend to forget to use it. But today, with this post, we are going to change this with three steps.

Why three easy steps?

Most of the time, when we decide to develop a skill, we get our motivation by seeing someone good at using the skill. And that got us inspired, with this incredible nice feeling “Yes! I want to be able to do that!”. And that “that” is quite high already on the learning scale. As a result, it can feel like we have a mountain to climb. If we are not careful, that mountain may seem too high and challenging and our motivation may go down.

So, as we do with any mountain, we are taking the learning of that new skill one step at a time.

Climbing our mountains one step at a time

What I love about mountain climbing is that at times, we don't even need to know exactly where the path is going to pass. When we look too much ahead, we may even get worried that the path may be too steep, or too much looking over the void, or too slippery. This is when we try to interpret the path before being there. We are guessing rather than assessing how it is. And when we get close, when we are actually on it, looking 10 to 100 m ahead, we are surprised how easy it is. We put the right amount of attention in our steps. We had the right amount of preparation by identifying the summit and possible routes. We are simply climbing that summit one step at a time. And when unexpected obstacles come up, like a fallen tree in the middle of the path, we simply pause, assess the situation, and look for means to go around it, before moving again.

We do the same when we develop our self-leadership.

We have the direction – having a strong self-leadership. We know what it looks like – these are the role models we have identified. We know its many outcomes, for instance, an increased capacity to demonstrate emotional intelligence, an increased resilience, some great grit and persistence, and an increased agility in choosing our behaviours. We may choose a guide and support along the journey – this can be the coach or mentor we work with. And then we climb. We do not need to know every single step to reach these many outcomes. We just need to take one step after another, keeping our eyes on the summit we want to reach.

Our first three steps to start this climb

Step 1 – Observation. Observation is about noticing what is happening. We bring things to our attention, and by doing that we become “aware of them”. This is the first step to getting to know our system, which means everything around us which may have some influence on what is happening in our life. And this is also the first step to get to know ourselves. We observe. We monitor how we react. We bring things to our attention.

Step 2 – Some closer attention. We pay an inch more attention to one thing, our emotions, that is how we feel. For the moment, we are only interested in identifying what is happening inside us and what sensation this gives us. When we pay closer attention, we are simply noticing we have emotions, that they are often connected to sensations in our body, and that we can give them a name. Each of these emotions will have a message for us, and we will look into that at later stages. But we won't find that message if we do not identify there is an emotion. Hence, this is important step two.

Let me take this opportunity to clear up some confusion. Acknowledging an emotion is not about voicing it to the world. This is something for you. You can remain as discreet as you want, or as you need at this stage. This step two is about accepting who you are by bringing an increased visibility to what you experience.

Step 3 – Some focus. We focus on what we want to create. Using two different brain mechanisms, we are going to do two things here.

First, take an A4 page, and draw a line to represent the horizon. Then, either write or draw, what you want to see on that horizon. We are putting intentions, ideas, and direction into our future. For instance, on my horizon, there is always humour written. Why? Because I want laughter in my future. And having humour written there, is enough to keep this on my radar and to give direction to my actions, my mindset, or the people I connect with. I usually draw a sun. It does not mean I want to leave under the sun <laugh>. It is rather about the symbol. It always inspires me.

This done, we move to our second element. We start saying things the way we want them to happen. For instance, if I have noticed, thanks to step two, that I tend to get angry easily, I may have identified that "I no longer want to get angry". Fantastic. I just need now to say it the way I want it to happen. For example, "I want to remain serene," "I want to remain detached," "I want to laugh instead", etc. I look for affirmative sentences.

Ready to get started?

Once happy with these three steps, check out these three great habits of self-leaders.

There are many more tips and changes of perspectives we work on when developing our self-leadership.

When you’re ready to explore fully how you could increase your self-leadership, get my book Swim Like a Fish, an easy guide to developing your self-leadership, or reach out to get information on the next program starting date. There is always a cohort around the corner waiting for you to join that you can learn how to swim like a fish through your life.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter and visit my website for more info! Read more from Florence!

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Florence Dambricourt, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Passionate about human and their brain. Fanatic (nearly :-)) ultra-trail runner. Florence Dambricourt is an accomplished Speaker, Self-Leadership Coach, Team Coach and Company Culture Change Enabler. Her career, in zig-zag spans over 25 years, navigating through various corporate worlds and entrepreneurship experiences. Driven by curiosity and a very strong intention to “make a difference for the better”, Florence helps her clients finding clarity, so that they can shape their future. With two books published on Self-Leadership, “Swim Like a Fish” and “Speak Like a Fish”, Florence not only champions Self-Leadership, she provides a robust methodology, and with-it tools, to develop or strengthen it. She sees Self-Leadership as a must-have competency for everyone. Her mission? "Unleashing the power of Human Innovation thanks to Self-Leadership”.