The Version of You That You're Hiding
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
Janice Elsley is a leadership strategist, author, and keynote speaker who helps CEOs and leaders elevate their impact. As founder of Harissa Business Partners, she blends neuroscience, change management, and human design to drive success.
There's a version of you that you don't let people see. She's the one who has big dreams but keeps them quiet because what if people think she's being unrealistic? She's the one who knows she's capable of more but stays small because it feels safer than standing out.
She's the woman who edits herself in meetings, softens her opinions, laughs at jokes that aren't funny, and says "I'm fine" when she's anything but.
She's the version of you that you've learned to hide because, somewhere along the way, you got the message that being fully yourself was too much. Too loud. Too ambitious. Too intense. Too something.
So you learned to dim your light. To play it safe. To be the version of yourself that makes everyone else comfortable, even when it makes you feel like you're disappearing. But here's what I know: the version of you that you're hiding? She's the one the world actually needs.
The cost of playing small
Let's talk about what it costs you to hide. It costs you your energy, because pretending to be someone you're not is exhausting. Every time you edit yourself, every time you hold back, every time you choose what's safe over what's true, you're spending energy maintaining a version of yourself that isn't real.
It costs you your confidence, because when you're constantly performing, you lose touch with who you actually are. You start to believe that the edited version is all you have to offer.
It costs you your relationships, because people can't truly connect with someone who's hiding. Intimacy requires vulnerability. Vulnerability requires you to show up as you are, not as you think you should be.
It costs you your impact, because the gifts you're here to give, the leadership you're meant to offer, and the difference you're meant to make all require you to be fully yourself. You can't change the world while you're busy trying to fit into it.
Why we hide
So why do we do it? Why do we hide the parts of ourselves that are the most powerful? Because, at some point, we learned that being ourselves wasn't safe.
Maybe you were told you were "too much." Too emotional. Too opinionated. Too ambitious. You learned that to be loved, to be accepted, and to belong, you needed to tone it down.
Maybe you watched other women get criticised for being bold, for speaking up, for taking up space, and you decided it was safer to stay quiet.
Maybe you've been burned before. You showed up fully, and someone made you feel small for it. So you built walls. You learned to protect yourself by hiding.
These are survival strategies. They worked, for a time. They kept you safe. They helped you navigate a world that wasn't always kind to women who refused to shrink.
But here's the thing about survival strategies: they have an expiration date. What kept you safe at 15, at 25, at 35, might be the very thing that's keeping you stuck now.
What happens when you stop hiding
I'm not going to lie to you. Showing up fully is uncomfortable. It's vulnerable. It requires you to risk being seen, really seen, and that can feel terrifying.
But here's what happens when you stop hiding: You start to feel like yourself again. That heaviness you've been carrying, the exhaustion of pretending, it starts to lift. You remember what it feels like to take a full breath.
You attract the right people. When you show up authentically, you stop attracting people who need you to be small. You start attracting people who celebrate you for being exactly who you are.
You build real confidence. Not the kind that comes from external validation, but the kind that comes from internal alignment. The kind that says, "I know who I am, and I'm not apologising for it."
You create the impact you're meant to have. Because the world doesn't need another version of someone else. It needs the version of you that only you can be.
How to start showing up fully
Here's where to begin: Identify where you're hiding. Where are you editing yourself? Where are you playing small? Where are you choosing what's safe over what's true? Get honest about it.
Ask yourself: What am I afraid will happen if I show up fully? Rejection? Criticism? Judgment? Name the fear. Because once you name it, you can decide if it's actually true or just an old story your brain is telling you to keep you safe.
Start small. You don't have to announce your biggest dream to the world tomorrow. Just practise showing up a little more authentically in one area of your life. Share an opinion you usually keep to yourself. Set a boundary you've been avoiding. Take up space in a conversation instead of shrinking back.
Surround yourself with people who see you. Find the people who don't need you to be smaller. The ones who celebrate your bigness. The ones who remind you that you're not too much, you're exactly enough.
Remember: you're not for everyone. That's okay. The right people will love you for being fully yourself. The wrong people will be uncomfortable. Let them be.
The woman you're becoming
The version of you that you're hiding isn't a future version you need to become. She's already here. She's been here all along, waiting for you to stop apologising for her existence.
She's the woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. The woman who speaks her truth even when her voice shakes. The woman who takes up space unapologetically because she knows her presence matters.
She's not too much. She's not too loud. She's not too ambitious or too intense or too anything. She's exactly who you're meant to be, and the world is waiting for her.
Let's do this together
I'm Janice Elsley, international author, podcast host of Legacy Leaders, keynote speaker, and award-winning leadership expert. I help women stop hiding and start leading from a place of authentic power and unshakable self-trust.
If you're ready to stop playing small and start showing up fully, subscribe to my podcast, Legacy Leaders, and follow me on YouTube @JaniceElsleyLeadership, or connect with me on Instagram @JaniceElsley.
If you're ready to do the deep internal work of stepping into the fullest version of yourself, explore my programs at Janice Elsley.
The version of you that you're hiding? She's ready. The question is, are you?
Read more from Janice Elsley
Janice Elsley, Leadership Expert, International Author, and Podcast Host
Janice Elsley is a leadership expert, author, and keynote speaker helping CEOs and executives future-proof their leadership with neuroscience-driven strategies. As founder of Harissa Business Partners, she drives performance, inclusivity, and talent retention. Her book Leadership Legacy and programs, Leading Edge Women, The Leading Edge, and First 100 Days of Leadership, equip leaders with the confidence and strategies to make an impact. Whether coaching executives or delivering transformational keynotes, Janice creates real results.
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