The Top 3 Power Tips that Help You to Crush Self-Sabotage and Get Out of Your Own Way
Written by Veronica Hislop, Founder of Em-Powered Pens
As the founder of Em-Powered Pens, author Veronica Hislop aims to empower her readers to heal, grow, and thrive. A trained professional, she is committed to guiding her audience through a transformative journey of resilience and self-discovery, unlocking their full potential.
Sometimes, the biggest obstacle between you and your goals can be you. You set ambitious plans, but somehow your actions and habits pull you in the opposite direction. You procrastinate, overthink, or talk yourself out of opportunities, and boom, another dream gets delayed. If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath. You’re not broken. You’re human. Let’s take a quick, no-fluff journey through the three biggest ways you can self-sabotage, and the power moves that can flip the script fast.
What is self-sabotage, really?
Self-sabotage happens when your conscious mind (the logical planner) and your subconscious mind (the emotional gatekeeper) are out of sync.
You want to wake up early and hit that morning swim, but your inner voice whispers:
“Stay in bed, it’s cold out there.”
And before you know it, you’re snoozing again.
Don’t beat yourself up. That voice is your subconscious trying to protect you, to keep you cozy and safe in the familiar. The problem, safety rarely leads to success.
Your subconscious holds all your beliefs, habits, emotions, and memories, the invisible programming that drives 90 to 95 percent of your behaviour.
If that programming isn’t aligned with your goals, you’ll keep tripping over your own patterns.
1. Befriend your subconscious
“If your subconscious blueprint isn’t set for success, nothing you learn will make a difference.” – T. Harv Eker
Translation: If your inner software is outdated, no amount of grind will fix the glitch.
The good news, you can rewire your subconscious, and it can actually be fun. Try activities that get you out of your head and into flow:
Meditation
Journaling
Dancing
Chanting
Breathwork
Hypnosis
Affirmations
Energy Tapping
These creative, right-brain practices help you bypass logic and speak directly to your inner programming.
When your subconscious and conscious minds are in sync, you become unstoppable.
2. Master your inner critic
We all have one, that snarky inner voice that whispers, “You’re not good enough.” Left unchecked, it morphs from critic to bully.
Awareness is your superpower. Start noticing:
What your inner critic says
When it shows up
How does it talk to you
Does it sound like a nagging parent, a judgmental boss, or an anxious friend?
Once you identify its patterns, you can disarm it. Use the H.A.L.T. rule, your critic is loudest when you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Instead of fighting that voice, befriend it.
Picture it as an annoying but harmless sidekick who needs boundaries. Replace harsh self-talk with empowering messages:
“I’m learning.” “I can figure this out.” “I’ve handled worse.”
Your self-esteem grows every time you choose kindness towards yourself over criticism.
3. Face and reframe your fear
At the core of every act of self-sabotage lies fear, failure, success, rejection, change.
Here’s the truth bomb:
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.
Fear is just your imagination playing worst-case scenarios on repeat. It’s your brain saying, “What if I can’t handle it?” instead of, “What if I can?”
Reclaim your power by asking:
What’s the payoff for staying stuck?
What am I avoiding?
What comfort am I clinging to?
What identity am I protecting?
Then flip the script. Replace “I can’t” with “I’ll handle it.”
Every time you say it, you remind your brain that you’re capable and in charge.
As Susan Jeffers, author of the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, says, “Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s the decision to move through it.”
Mini exercises: Activate your power
Morning mirror check-in: Say out loud, “I’m on my own team.” Teach your subconscious you’re a safe, capable leader.
Journal prompt: “What am I avoiding right now?” Free-write for 5 minutes. Awareness builds clarity.
Breath reset (2 minutes): Inhale confidence for 4 counts, hold 2, exhale self-doubt for 6. Repeat. Use your breath to rewire your brain.
Final thoughts: Get out of your own way
Stop fighting yourself. Start small:
Reprogram your subconscious
Tame your inner critic
Face your fears
Need extra support? A therapist or life coach can help you see what’s running the show and develop strategies to move forward.
When you finally stop fighting yourself, something incredible happens, you unlock your power, peace, and potential.
Step aside, make room, and let your greatness lead the way.
“Self-sabotage isn’t your identity, it’s feedback telling you it’s time to evolve.”
Read more from Veronica Hislop
Veronica Hislop, Founder of Em-Powered Pens
Veronica is a multi-genre author focused on empowering readers to navigate life’s challenges with grace and strength. Whether guiding adults through difficult conversations, supporting men in grief, or nurturing the self-worth of young girls, her work is grounded in emotional intelligence, psychological insight, and real-world application.
