The Search for Peace and Happiness
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 26, 2025
- 5 min read
Eljin is a transformative personal development coach from the Midlands, England, and the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme. For over 16 years, Eljin has guided people to release what’s holding them back, rediscover their purpose, and create life-changing transformation.
Do people often say to you, “You are never happy”? Or have you caught yourself thinking, “Once I get there, I’ll be happy”? Many of my clients struggle to articulate what truly makes them happy and often cannot visualize what it would actually look like. When they do, it’s usually something external, such as a job, a relationship, or a circumstance. As they say, “The absence of peace and happiness is in those who seek it.”
What is happiness and peace?
Happiness is something we all strive for, though what it looks like can differ from person to person. At its core, happiness is often experienced as a state of joy, contentment, and fulfilment. For some, it’s the feeling of satisfaction after reaching a goal, while for others it’s simply being present and at peace. However we define it, happiness usually comes down to a blend of positive emotions and an overall sense of life satisfaction.
Peace, much like happiness, also carries a unique meaning for everyone. For some, it’s the absence of stress or conflict, while for others it’s a deep inner calm that remains steady regardless of external circumstances. At its heart, peace can be understood as a state of balance, ease, and harmony within ourselves and with the world around us. However it’s defined, peace is about creating space for clarity, calm, and connection.
We could spend all day exploring the elements of happiness and peace, from the science of serotonin and dopamine, to the deeper sense of fulfilment and purpose, and even into spiritual concepts that give life meaning. In my 1:1 coaching sessions, I find that the same themes around happiness keep showing up time and again. Here are ten key concepts that often surface in the room when people are seeking more joy, clarity, and peace in their lives.
10 concepts about happiness & peace that keep coming up in my 1:1 room
“They make me happy.” If another person truly made you happy, you’d be happy all the time you’re with them. Connection, being seen, heard, loved, and valued, is huge. But happiness that depends on someone else is co-dependency. If you’re with them and still unhappy, what does that tell you about where your happiness actually lives?
“When I do that, it always makes me happy.” Is it chemistry (dopamine), achievement, or simply distraction? Notice where your mind is while you’re doing the activity. Are you fully present, chasing a hit, or avoiding something else?
“This is my happy place.” Does a place create your happiness, or do you give yourself permission there to pause, breathe, and be present? Often, a place is a container for the inner work, not the source.
“Once I get there, I’ll be happy.” If you’re unhappy now, arriving at the next milestone won’t magically fix that. Achievement can bring joy, but it’s not the same as an ongoing state of happiness rooted in the present.
“No matter what I do, I’m never happy.” This often points to a deeper belief of “I am not enough.” If you’re seeking arrival or external validation to feel worthy, the pattern will repeat no matter what you achieve.
“When I’m a success, I’ll be happy.” Similar to number four, tying happiness to external measures of success leaves your well-being vulnerable. If success hasn’t arrived yet, who are you now, before the win?
“I have peace momentarily after I complete something, but it never lasts.” Completion gives purpose, focus, and short-term meaning. The journey lights you up. Once the finish line is crossed, the high fades. What do you do next to sustain meaning?
“I just can’t find peace of mind.” Ask, What’s the opposite of peace for you? What’s the internal conflict or “war” you’re running? Naming the problem is the first step to shifting the state of mind.
“I’m always restless and agitated.” Is your nervous system stuck in fight or flight? Excess stress, dysregulation, or unprocessed trauma will keep you on edge. Regulation and nervous-system work can change this pattern.
“The problem is I just can’t stop thinking.” Thoughts are normal, they kept our ancestors alive. The issue isn’t thinking itself but trying to control what you can’t, while not taking responsibility for what you can. Learning to observe, reframe, and act on what’s actionable shifts the relationship with your mind.
The absence of happiness and peace
From my personal experience, teachings, and 16+ years of working with clients, I’ve seen the same truth repeat itself, the absence of peace and happiness is found in those who are seeking it.
When I ask clients to recall the last time they felt truly happy, it’s never about who they were with, what they were doing, or where they were. What they all have in common is that their mind was in the 'now'.
At its core, every person is happy and at peace in their natural state. If they are not, it’s because they are being hijacked, attached to the mind. That attachment is the suffering. Peace, happiness, love, and joy are only ever experienced in the present moment.
Beyond the mind
Enlightenment is to step back from the mind, yet most people are caught in “thinking about thinking,” reliving the past, projecting into the future, obsessing about arrival, achievement, or control.
This is why I designed my signature programme, The Healing, which helps people develop emotional intelligence, master the mind, and return to their natural state of peace and happiness.
My 10 tips for cultivating peace and happiness
Practice mindfulness in all that you do.
Train your mind daily. Take 5 minutes to focus on your breath and gently return when thoughts arise.
Come back to the now. Step out of the mind and into presence.
Release and forgive. Let go of control and what no longer serves you, practice self-compassion, empathy, and acceptance.
See the mind clearly. Recognize how ego, pride, and judgment create inner conflict.
Express gratitude daily. Don’t just feel it, live it.
Know you are enough. Redefine success and see how you are already living it.
Speak with love and honesty. Use empowering words with yourself and others.
Fuel your life with meaning. Set goals anchored in purpose and a bigger vision.
Practice balance. Learn the art of doing, being, and living content.
“Peace is not something to be found, it’s what remains when you return to the present.”
Closing thoughts
Of course, healthy sleep, nutrition, and exercise also play their part. But again and again, I’ve seen that it’s these inner practices that unlock lasting peace, happiness, and freedom.
If this resonates with you and you’d like to go deeper, feel free to connect with me via email or WhatsApp (07946 054556).
Read more from Eljin Keeling-Johnson
Eljin Keeling-Johnson, Personal Development Coach
In 2005, Eljin walked into therapy battling anxiety, depression, and drug addiction. What began as a search for healing became a profound journey of self-discovery. Emerging with a renewed sense of purpose, he dedicated his life to helping others find their true selves and step into their full potential. Over the past 16 years, Eljin has delivered more than 16,000 hours of transformative coaching, blending conscious, subconscious, and unconscious work to create deep, lasting change. As the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme, his mission is simple yet powerful, to help people connect, grow, and thrive.
