The Return of the Sin-Eater
- Brainz Magazine
- 4 days ago
- 7 min read
Ken Breniman is a queer author, licensed clinical social worker, yoga therapist, and thanatologist guiding fellow mindful mortals at the threshold of life, death, devotion, and (r)evolution. His work blends neuroscience, primatology, Celtic wisdom, and psychedelic integration to invite braver ways of being human.
There was a time when I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian. Not because I loved animals, though I did and still do, but because I was drawn to the work of tending. Of sitting with what was injured or neglected. Of paying attention to bodies and systems that could not speak clearly for themselves. I didn’t have language for it then, but I was drawn to care at the edge of life, where things were vulnerable, messy, and unfinished.
It turns out that instinct never left. It simply changed forms. I eventually evolved into a licensed clinical social worker, a yoga therapist, and a death doula. It seems I was following my instincts stealthily toward something I now believe is embedded in my Irish DNA. At the ripe old age of 56, I realize I have been training myself to be one of the many neo-sin-eaters emerging from the shadows.
There was once a role in human communities that specialized in a unique form of cleaning not just of bodies, but of moral and emotional residue. These individuals were known as sin-eaters. Despite the name, their work was not necessarily tied to a particular religion or belief system.
The work of a sin-eater was about burden, accountability, and clearing the way for something better. And while sin-eaters are hardly mentioned these days, the need for this work has actually increased over the centuries. In fact, we may need sin-eaters now more than ever.
A brief history of sin-eaters
Sin-eaters were most commonly documented in rural regions of Wales and along the Welsh-English border, particularly in Shropshire. From the 17th through the 19th centuries, these individuals were often hired quietly and with little social status to consume bread and ale placed upon a deceased person’s body. Symbolically, they were believed to absorb unresolved moral or relational debts so the deceased could rest.
Sin-eaters were rarely respected. They were needed, paid, and then kept at the margins. Their work was uncomfortable, and most likely, so were they.
From a modern perspective, it is tempting to dismiss this practice as occult, witchcraft, or superstition. But doing so misses its deeper function. The communities served by sin-eaters understood something fundamental: not all harm can be resolved while alive, and not all accountability can be carried by the person who caused it. This was especially true when insight arrived late in life, or when there was not the time, space, or bandwidth to reconcile.
Sin-eaters acted as containers. They allowed grief, remorse, and regret to move without denial and prevented unresolved harm from being silently passed forward.
This job is not about religion. It is about evolution
Strip away the ritual language, and what remains is a profoundly adaptive human behavior.
Modern research on intergenerational trauma confirms what earlier cultures sensed intuitively. Dr. Rachel Yehuda, Dr. Gabor Maté, and other neuroscience researchers have shown that unresolved psychological stress can be transmitted biologically and behaviorally across generations. Trauma does not simply disappear when it goes unnamed. It reorganizes nervous systems, family dynamics, and belief structures.
Silence is not neutral. Avoidance is not benign. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense. Social mammals survive by repairing ruptures. The late primatologist Dr. Frans de Waal documented how primate groups rely on reconciliation, third-party mediation, and conflict repair to maintain cohesion. When conflict is ignored, group survival is threatened.
Seen this way, the ancient sin-eaters were not anomalies. They were early social technicians, imperfect, human, and necessary.
Aging, gerotranscendence, and why timing matters
Later life offers a narrow but meaningful window for integrating the material life piles on us.
Sociologist Lars Tornstam described gerotranscendence as a natural developmental shift toward reflection, meaning-making, and expanded perspective in older adulthood. When supported, this stage can bring wisdom and peace.
Psychologist Erik Erikson framed elderhood through the dialectic of ego integrity versus despair. Aging invites life review and an opportunity to integrate one’s impact, make meaning, and come to rest.
But unresolved trauma can obstruct this process. When harm remains unacknowledged, aging does not soften perspective, it does the opposite. Unattended psychic baggage hardens us and diminishes the quality of life. Fear overshadows empathy. Bias calcifies into identity. Instead of reflection, there is repetition. The record skips, and it is not always on a pleasant note.
This is where modern sin-eating becomes essential.
When boundaries become an act of care
Many of us find ourselves navigating aging family members whose trauma was never given language. In my own life, this has meant making the painful but essential decision to step back from direct communication with my elderly grandmother and many of my closest relatives.
This distance was not an act of abandonment. It was a respectful boundary shaped by care.
Her unresolved trauma and the biases that grew around it continued to cause harm. And the ways the family system supports the status quo have been devastating for those who are not “favored” by the matriarch. Maintaining closeness without truth required silence, and silence would have meant carrying forward what had already traveled too far.
Distance became a container not to punish, but to interrupt. Instead of transcontinental visits or phone calls, I limited our communication to letter writing. Mail remains an excellent way to create space between reaction and response while still staying connected.
The boundary was set with a door still present. There has always been an invitation for reflection, accountability, and healing should she choose to engage it. This was not about demanding an apology or winning an argument. It was about refusing to metabolize harm on her behalf while still honoring the possibility of late-life transformation.
Clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, reframes distance not as cruelty, but as a necessary response when emotional capacity or insight is limited. Sometimes care requires space so that truth can breathe.
Boundaries like these are not rejection. They are an ethical refusal to collude with harm. And this distance, much like how sin-eaters of yesteryear lived on the outskirts of their communities, has allowed me to transmute transgenerational trauma at a humane pace.
How to practice modern-day sin-eating (without becoming a martyr)
Modern sin-eating is not about keeping company with dead bodies or fixing the living. The evolution of this sacred work is about ethically sound containment. Below are five principles that make this role teachable, compassionate, and sustainable.
1. Name what is yours to witness, not what is yours to carry
The role is not to take responsibility for harm you did not cause. It is to name reality so it no longer hides in silence.
Practice: Notice when you feel compelled to people-please, apologize, or “smooth things over.” Ask what truth is being avoided.
2. Use boundaries as containers, not weapons
A boundary with a door says: relationship is possible, but not at the cost of denial or self-erasure.
Practice: Frame boundaries around conditions for engagement, not punishments.
3. Call out bias as relational hygiene
Naming racism, misogyny, homophobia, or emotional neglect is not an attack. It is an evolutionary interruption. Rather than compounding interest for future generations, the neo-sin-eater identifies harm and shines light on the shadow work.
Practice: Use clear, non-shaming language focused on impact rather than intent.
4. Offer the invitation without forcing the outcome
The door does not have to be closed, nor does one’s address need to be concealed. The process may be slow and will rarely feel complete. Completion cannot be forced or coerced. Holding the invitation and keeping the chosen channel of communication is the work.
Practice: Let go of managing others’ responses. Invite yourself into ample integration and aftercare.
5. Know when to step back
Modern sin-eaters are not martyrs, nor are they outcasts. When compassion turns into
self-harm, discernment, not endurance, is required. Just like any competent professional, it is okay to set down a case or a client that is not a good fit.
Practice: Track your own nervous system. Empathic distress, burnout, and compassion fatigue are signals to heed.
A subversive act of humanity
To practice modern sin-eating is to reject the myth that healing is purely personal or finite. To self-identify as someone stepping into this role is to recognize that we inherit unfinished business and that we have choices about what we pass forward.
This work is uncomfortable by design. It challenges silence without demanding punishment. It offers truth without insisting on forgiveness.
And perhaps the final task of modern sin-eaters is this: to find a better name.
“Sin-eater” did its job in another era. Today, what we are really talking about is someone who helps metabolize truth, interrupt inherited harm, and protect what comes next.
If you have ideas for a better name, I want to hear them. My working title is human dung beetle, but I’m confident you have better ideas. Share your thoughts with me on Instagram.
And if you are warming up to being supported in your work as a present-day sin-eater or whatever you call yourself, please know you do not have to go it alone. There is support available through a wide array of therapy, coaching, and alternative healing modalities.
After submitting this article and sending my grandmother her centurion birthday card, I am heading to a sensory-deprivation tank, which I consider a very salty, wet, and affordable form of self-therapy. Just me, my naked body, and my spirit guides saying: “Ken, you did your best, and you can always do better.”
Because the future deserves fewer transgenerational hand-me-downs, and we are the ones who can consciously and kindly tend to what was given to us, without passing it on to those who will inherit this planet.
Read more from Kenneth J. Breniman
Kenneth J. Breniman, Grief Guide & Mindfully Mortal Therapist
Ken Breniman is a queer author, licensed clinical social worker, certified yoga therapist, and thanatologist whose work lives at the intersection of mortality, meaning, and transformation. Drawing from neuroscience, primatology, Celtic wisdom, and psychedelic integration, he challenges the myth of human exceptionalism while honoring the precious role each of us plays in the ongoing evolution of our species. Ken is the author of a three-body solution and subversive acts of humanity, and the creator of the See-Soul children’s grief literacy series. Through writing, teaching, and ritual-informed practice, he guides mindful mortals toward deeper humility, resilience, and collective becoming.
Further reading:
Tornstam, L. (2005). Gerotranscendence: A Developmental Theory of Positive Aging.
Erikson, E. H. (1982). The Life Cycle Completed.
Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects. de Waal, F. (1989). Peacemaking Among Primates.
Gibson, L. C. (2015). Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
