The Perils Of Perseverance – When Grit Isn’t Great
Wendy is a yoga teacher of teachers with decades of experience in the practice and teaching of yoga. One of her passions is the uncanny intersections where Western research validates the instructions for emotional regulation laid out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.
In the realm of self-help and personal development, few qualities are extolled as fervently as grit. Coined and popularized by psychologist Angela Duckworth, from my alma mater, grit is defined as a combination of passion and perseverance for long-term goals. It's the ability to stay committed and bounce back from setbacks, which has been touted as a key ingredient for success. However, grit without wisdom—the capacity to go within and tap into our higher selves—can be destructive.
When is grit not so great?
Burnout
One of the most significant risks of relentless perseverance is burnout. People with excessive grit may push themselves beyond their limits, ignoring signs of physical and mental exhaustion. This can lead to chronic stress and anxiety, which may subsequently lead to autoimmune diseases and other health issues. The glorification of grit often overlooks the importance of self-care and balance, which are crucial for sustainable success.
Avoidance
Grit, or overworking at any one thing, can also be used as an excuse to avoid dealing with other, more prickly parts of our lives that are easier to avoid. Spending late hours on an entrepreneurial idea after the passion and spark have gone, while the job that pays the bills suffers or the children live a latchkey life with a parent in the house, indicates avoidance of facing deeper issues or past trauma. Seasoned, professional psychologists may be able to help, and that takes time. This is not an article for easy answers but one offering a way to lasting solutions.
Stagnation
While persistence is valuable, it can sometimes lead to stagnation. Sticking with a goal or project for too long, especially when it's clear that it's not yielding the desired results, can prevent individuals from exploring new opportunities. There is a story of a man who just came into some extra money and saw these beautiful peppers at the market. They looked so enticing. He decided to treat himself and used all the cash to purchase them. Coming home, he dove in and came to a shocking discovery. The heat was unbearable.
Eating them burned from entry to exit. And yet he continued to eat. His friend asked why all this suffering? Just throw them out! But he refused, stating that he used all his extra cash, so he would eat every last one.
There are times when we invest so much of ourselves—time, money, love, dedication— that we refuse to let go of endeavors, people, jobs, or situations. Or we do not want to “lose face” to others. In yoga, the sage Patanjali says that suffering is optional and most often we inflict it upon ourselves. Flexibility and adaptability are just as important as perseverance. Tapping into our inner wisdom to understand when to pivot or abandon a failing project is a critical life skill.
Poor decision making
Grit can cloud judgment. When someone is overly committed to a goal, they might disregard valuable feedback or new information that suggests a different approach would be more effective. This tunnel vision can result in poor decision-making, as the individual becomes fixated on a single path without considering alternative strategies. This tendency can come from our subconscious, the imprint of expectations from our parents or teachers or society itself. Self-help books that teach all we need is grit and positive thinking can make us tone-deaf to the spiritual guidance that comes our way. The Universe/God/Infinite Intelligence will gently guide us so far… until it becomes clear that we are not getting the message. Then, a major, perhaps traumatic shift happens and forces us to do what we should have before.
Relationship strain
The single-minded pursuit of a goal strains personal relationships. Friends, family, and intimate partners might feel neglected or undervalued when we prioritize ambitions above all else. The balance between personal aspirations, whatever they may be, and maintaining healthy relationships is essential, and excessive grit has the potential to tip this balance unfavorably.
Missed opportunities for growth
Gritty individuals may resist change and new experiences, clinging to familiar challenges rather than seeking out new ones. This resistance can hinder personal and professional growth, as it limits exposure to diverse perspectives and skills. Embracing change and stepping out of one's comfort zone are vital for development. As humans, the tendency is to feel comfortable with ‘the same’; it is safe. The grit along one path can be the vehicle to discover a tangent that is your true dharma or calling—a work, a person, or a lifestyle that would not have ever been considered if the toiling individual did not look up from the blinders of grit to notice and perceive other potential possibilities.
Finding the balance
The key to harnessing the power of grit without falling into its pitfalls lies in seeking balance and wisdom. Here are some strategies that may help:
1. Set realistic goals, check in, and celebrate
It's important to set achievable and adaptable goals. This allows for adjustments along the way and prevents the demoralization that comes from pursuing unattainable objectives. Regularly reassessing goals, without self-criticism or judgment, and noting where there is progress can help maintain a realistic and adaptable approach. It is a continued endeavor of evaluating, analyzing, and continuing accordingly. For example, if a goal is to work out every day and I continue to do so even when ill, I may not recover as quickly and do more harm to my health. Perhaps the goal as a salesperson is to attain a certain number of sales; they attain 85%, which is still a huge success! Our minds react kinder to encouragement than to criticism. Cheering ourselves on in our hearts and minds goes a long way to help us either continue or decide to make a turn in another direction without ego getting in the way.
2. Practice self-care
Incorporating self-care routines into daily life helps prevent burnout. This includes adequate rest, physical activity, healthy eating, meditation, and hobbies. The importance of downtime to improve overall productivity and well-being is immeasurable. Often, the needed idea to resolve a dilemma emerges when our minds are relaxed and open to the quiet wise voice within. The din of mind chatter (called chitta in yoga) drowns out the profound wisdom that we all have access to.
3. Seek feedback
Being open to feedback from others can provide new insights and perspectives. Constructive compassionate criticism is invaluable for growth and improvement, and it helps in making informed decisions rather than stubbornly sticking to a failing plan. Criticism without compassion can have the opposite effect. Therefore, choose where you get your feedback from with care. Make a commitment to be open and notice when you feel defensive. Question why before answering or reacting. Patanjali, the ancient yogic sage, describes the capacity to separate our identity from our feelings and thoughts. He suggests releasing any attachment to them. For the emotions to settle like muddy water after a storm. Only when there is stillness will there be clarity. We can then communicate more effectively when we have clarity.
4. Embrace flexibility
Adaptability is crucial in a rapidly changing world. Being willing to pivot when necessary and exploring new opportunities can lead to greater success and fulfillment. It takes great courage to leave behind what is not for you anymore. It is that same courage that will guide you to find your way to what is. Developing a spiritual practice is essential to tap into the bravery needed to accept and embark upon change.
5. Prioritize relationships
Maintaining strong personal and professional relationships is essential for long-term success and happiness. Balancing ambition with empathy and support for others fosters a healthier, more supportive environment. Research has shown that those with long, healthy lives have equally long and healthy personal relationships, from partners to friendships, family, and colleagues. The impact of nurturing these bonds is literally lifesaving.
6. Developing a spiritual practice
Developing a spiritual practice is key to avoiding the downfalls of excessive grit because it fosters inner awareness, balance, and perspective. By regularly engaging in activities like meditation, prayer, or mindfulness, individuals cultivate a deeper connection with their inner selves and the world around them. This connection enhances their ability to listen to their inner wisdom, recognize when persistence has turned into stubbornness, and understand when it’s time to let go. Spiritual practices also promote self-compassion and self-care, counteracting the risks of burnout and poor decision-making associated with relentless perseverance. By embracing a holistic approach to personal growth, one can achieve success while maintaining overall well being and harmony in their lives.
Conclusion
In the realm of self-help and personal development, grit is often hailed as a cornerstone of success. Angela Duckworth’s concept, emphasizing passion and perseverance for long-term goals, has inspired many to stay committed despite setbacks. However, grit without wisdom—the capacity to go within and tap into our higher selves—can lead to burnout, avoidance, stagnation, poor decision-making, strained relationships, and missed opportunities for growth.
To avoid these pitfalls, balance and wisdom are crucial. Setting realistic goals, practicing self-care, seeking feedback, embracing flexibility, prioritizing relationships, and developing a spiritual practice can help maintain this balance. Engaging in spiritual practices like meditation, prayer, or mindfulness fosters inner awareness, balance, and perspective.This holistic approach to personal growth allows for the achievement of success while preserving overall well-being and harmony in life.
By integrating these strategies, one can harness the power of grit without falling victim to its potential downsides, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced journey toward personal and professional success.
Read more from Wendy S. Vigroux
Wendy S. Vigroux, Yoga Teacher of Teachers, Scholar
Wendy is a yoga teacher of teachers with decades of experience in the practice and teaching of yoga. One of her passions is the uncanny intersections where Western research validates the instructions for emotional regulation laid out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Wendy's dedication to both the ancient wisdom of yoga and the modern scientific approach has earned her the loving label of "Yoga Geek."
