The Myth of Balancing It All
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 25
- 4 min read
Wendy is a yoga teacher of teachers with decades of experience in the practice and teaching of yoga. One of her passions is the uncanny intersections where Western research validates the instructions for emotional regulation laid out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.
The very idea of "balancing it all" is a myth. We’re conditioned to believe that we can, no, that we should, juggle everything perfectly, seamlessly distributing our time and energy among work, family, self-care, friendships, and personal aspirations. But in reality, this pursuit often leaves us exhausted, chasing an illusion of control.
Instead of striving to carry it all, we should be asking: What can I let go of? What truly matters in this moment? Because real balance isn’t about doing everything, it’s about making space for what counts.
What we actually do when we balance
Think about this simple act: when we put too much produce on a scale at the supermarket, we instinctively adjust, removing the excess until we have the right amount. Balance isn’t about piling everything on at once; it’s about knowing when to add and when to subtract.
So why do we refuse to apply this principle to our own lives?
Do we do the work?
As a yoga teacher, I’ve seen firsthand how balance can betray us. In a standing pose, even the slightest distraction can send you teetering. A perfectly held balancing posture may appear effortless, but beneath the surface, a thousand tiny micro-adjustments are happening. The ankle muscles contract, the core engages, the eyes fix on a single point for focus, all in an intricate, ongoing dance of recalibration.
Life is no different. Balance isn’t a fixed state; it’s a continuous practice of realigning, shifting, and letting go.
Finding balance, and making the time, the space to do that, is not a luxury. It is an absolute necessity for our mental and physical health.
When life was out of balance
I know what it feels like to live completely out of balance.
When I worked in the corporate world, my days stretched endlessly, long hours in the office, coming home to care for the kids, cooking meals while my husband worked even longer hours.
When I left the corporate world, I threw myself into my own business, still managing the home, still handling everything. And because I wasn’t “really” working in the traditional sense, I volunteered. After all, wasn’t that what I was supposed to do?
I kept adding, thinking that somehow more would equal balance. Instead, there was a nagging sense that parts of my life were toppling over under the weight of all the others.
It wasn’t until I understood that I was the scale, I was the one straining under the pressure, that I realized the truth: achieving balance wasn’t about managing more. It was about consciously choosing less.
Taking away actually adds to life
Saying "no" is powerful. De-committing is liberating.
I knew that my core responsibilities, to my family, to those I love, were non-negotiable. But I also had to start treating my own well-being as non-negotiable, too.
For years, I believed that "doing it all" was the goal. Now, I know better. Doing less, and doing it with intention, is the real secret to balance.
Everyone’s version of equilibrium looks different. A dear friend of mine needs to read at least a paragraph of a book every day to feel grounded. My son feels out of sorts when he skips the gym. My 87-year-old mother? A perfectly polished manicure, often with a hint of sparkle, is what keeps her centered.
What is it for you?
Practically speaking: How to find balance
This will take time, so schedule time for it.
Identify what brings you joy
No moment of joy is too small. Grab a journal, yes, an actual paper journal, because writing by hand engages the brain differently.
Reflect: When was the last time you felt truly content? Write it down. Draw it. Make a list. Paint it.
For me, arts and culture are essential. And yet, despite living just 30 minutes from Manhattan, I went years without visiting a museum or seeing a play because I was “too busy.” Now, I schedule a visit to the city at least once a month.
What is it for you? Returning to school? Painting? Walking in nature? Building a business?
Plan for balance
Once you’ve identified what fuels you, plan for it.
Use a bullet journal or planner to map out your week, month, and year ahead. Seeing a full-year overview eases the anxiety of "getting it all done."
Remember, Google Calendar is great, but limited. It only shows what’s directly ahead. A written planner helps you visualize the bigger picture.
Leave space for the unexpected. Plans will change. Life will interrupt. And that’s okay. A delayed business launch isn’t a failure. A flooded basement may mean that you postpone what was in your calendar for later, and that is natural.
If you add something, remove something
Nature operates on a simple principle: when something is added, even unexpectedly, something else must be removed. Real balance requires an open mind, a willingness to let go, shift priorities when needed, and recognize that life is not linear. It doesn't adhere perfectly to a plan, and that’s part of its beauty.
Final thought: Balance is practice, not a destination
Balance isn’t something you achieve once and keep forever. It’s an ongoing, ever-shifting process. Some days, it means letting go of perfection. On other days, it means making space for what fills your soul. Yet, on others, balance equals sticking strictly to the plan.
The key is to keep adjusting and keep realigning until, finally, you find yourself standing strong, steady, and at peace with exactly where you are.
Read more from Wendy S. Vigroux
Wendy S. Vigroux, Yoga Teacher of Teachers, Scholar
Wendy is a yoga teacher of teachers with decades of experience in the practice and teaching of yoga. One of her passions is the uncanny intersections where Western research validates the instructions for emotional regulation laid out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Wendy's dedication to both the ancient wisdom of yoga and the modern scientific approach has earned her the loving label of "Yoga Geek."
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