The Hidden Cost of Sex Positivity
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 9
- 7 min read
Updated: Jul 10
Niaby is a Dream Weaver, Transcended Master, published author and intuitive, transofrmational mentor whose work serves as a bridge between the spiritual and psychological worlds. Through her transformative teachings and healing work, Niaby stands as a powerful voice for those ready to walk the path of truth and transformation.
There is a silent epidemic that no one is talking about. One that is hidden beneath hashtags of ‘empowerment’ and filtered selfies eluding to liberation. While society hails this era of sexual freedom, many women are silently battling emotional chaos and energetic entanglements born from frequent, emotionally disconnected sex.
Yes, we have broken the chains of sexual shame. Yes, we have reclaimed our bodies and our right to choose. But in the pursuit for liberation, many have unknowingly stepped into another form of captivity that disconnects us from our true feminine nature. Empowerment is not found in doing things just because we can, but in choosing what truly aligns with who we are and how we really feel. Real freedom is remembering our sacred nature, not losing it in the noise of modern desire.
The energetic impact of intimacy
Every intimate moment is also an energetic exchange. Beyond the physical experience, emotions, thoughts, and unresolved wounds pass between partners, imprinting on our energetic bodies. For women, our partners’ emotional energy often settles deep in the womb - our energetic core and source of our creative and personal strength. When that energy isn’t consciously released or healed, it lingers beneath the surface, influencing our moods, shaping our choices, and weighing on our emotional well-being. We can carry these imprints for many years, never realising that some of what we are feeling may not be ours to carry.
The consummation of marriage is more than a symbolic act of union, it is an energetic convergence, a moment where bodies meet and energies entwine. But beneath the symbolism lies something more primal: to consummate is, in essence, to be consumed. To be consumed reflects a merging so intense that we are pulled into another’s energetic field, leaving a deep imprint long after the physical moment has passed.
The intensity of this energetic exchange is not limited to ceremonial unions. It happens in every sexual encounter, no matter how casual or fleeting. Consider a one-night stand: we may enter it with clear intentions, knowing that it is meant to be casual, brief, and emotionally detached, but afterward, something shifts. We find ourselves thinking about the other person constantly, feeling emotions that were not there before, maybe even fantasising about a future together. This leaves us feeling confused and emotionally depleted What we are feeling is not just attraction, it is energetic entanglement. For the receptive partner, the entanglement often goes deeper because the emotional imprint of the other is directly absorbed into the body. Their frequency continues to vibrate within our system, blurring our own clarity and pulling at our energetic core.
The confusion of multiple partners
When we engage with multiple partners, especially within a short time span, we enter an even more complex energetic landscape. Each person brings their own emotional imprint, desires, wounds, and unresolved dynamics. The energy within these interactions does not just stay contained; it overlaps, clashes and blends in often challenging ways. Even if each encounter feels physically gratifying or emotionally light, the energetic field becomes increasingly crowded and difficult to navigate.
This can manifest as unexplained emotional turbulence, jealousy, resentment, insecurity, or simply a sense of disconnection from ourselves. The more entangled we become, the harder it is to stay grounded in our own emotional truth.
In today’s culture of casual sex, even if we choose to be intimate with just one person, it is increasingly common that they may also be involved with other people at the same time. This means that whilst we may believe we are making conscious and healthy choices, we still unknowingly step into a broader web of emotional and energetic entanglements that can blur our clarity, confuse our emotions and disrupt our ability to make aligned choices.
Practice energetic hygiene
The good news is that energetic entanglement does not have to be permanent. We have the power to release that which does not belong to us. Healing starts with awareness, by recognising the emotions, patterns or energies that we have taken on from others, we can consciously and intentionally choose to let them go. By cultivating self-awareness and committing to a journey of realignment, we can restore our clarity and take back ownership of our energy, creating space for intimacy that becomes a conscious, empowering experience.
Our ability to shift this energy begins with conscious intention. It can start off as simply as visualising our partner’s energy leaving our body after sex, or setting a clear intention to disconnect, gradually building toward more powerful detachment practices as you become more confident and attuned. For older, more deeply held imprints, practices like cord-cutting, soul retrieval or releasing stored trauma into a jade or obsidian egg, can support emotional release and healing. However we choose to clear, the goal remains the same: to return to our own energy.
Once we’ve reclaimed our own energy, we start to see clearly that which truly belongs to us and that which we have been unknowingly carrying from others.. We become empowered to recognise unconscious patterns, take ownership of our emotional experience and begin the work of reclaiming and healing our own emotional wounds. From this place of energetic sovereignty, we open to intimacy with discernment and self-awareness, that allows us to honour our needs, express our desires, and choose connection with clarity and self-respect.
As we begin to reclaim our energy and reconnect with what is truly ours, a deeper awareness can begin to surface. We may find ourselves re-evaluating the narratives that we have internalised around intimacy and empowerment. This may lead us to question the cultural narratives that have shaped our relationship to sex, desire, and self-worth.
When sex positive becomes negative
Sex positivity is often celebrated as freedom from shame and restriction. But true sex positivity goes deeper. It invites us to look within, to heal the emotional wounds that shape our patterns of desire, connection, and intimacy. Often, trauma, disconnection, and unmet emotional needs are what truly drive our choices. Without addressing these deeper layers, what society hails as freedom can end up feeling empty or disempowering.
Many women silently carry the weight of feeling unseen, unvalued, or disrespected in relationships and sexual encounters. Whilst the feminist movement was essential in reclaiming our voices and choices, societal conditioning encouraged us to adopt the more toxic aspects of masculinity. In the realm of sex, this has sometimes meant adopting a fast, detached, and hyper-casual approach that does not always align with the sacred rhythm of our feminine nature.
Our true power is not found in conforming to the masculine, but in honouring our own way of being. When we return to our divine femininity, our sacred connection with self and our inherent sexual wisdom, we not only deepen our experience of intimacy, we free ourselves from cultural conditioning that often values performance over presence, and detachment over connection.
The power of the chase
Men instinctively thrive on the chase. It is in this unfolding, through the gradual revealing of a woman’s essence, that real connection is built. Through this process, a man’s natural instincts to protect, cherish, and respect are activated. This is the foundation where love, compassion, and emotional depth begin to grow.
But in today’s swipe-right culture, that process is often bypassed. When sex happens too quickly, the space for emotional intimacy and genuine understanding is lost. In a world of endless options, where men no longer need to chase, they can lose themselves in the physical, disconnecting from their deeper emotional needs. As women increasingly mirror masculine behaviours, and the feminine presence that naturally balances the masculine becomes less present, both men and women lose touch with what they truly desire.
Ironically, as women strive to reclaim their power through sexual freedom, we often end up unintentionally giving it away. Instead of inviting the meaningful pursuit that fosters genuine connection, the deeper investment required to build lasting intimacy is often neglected, resulting in shallow connections that leave both men and women craving more, but receiving less.
Reclaim your feminine power
Feminine power is quiet yet undeniable. It is not about striving, forcing or proving, it is about remembering the innate wisdom held in our bodies, the magnetic strength in our presence, and the sacredness of our sensuality.
This path invites us to lead with softness, strength, and intuition. When we start to honour our sensual energy instead of giving it away, everything shifts. Relationships deepen, respect becomes non-negotiable and intimacy becomes a sacred exchange instead of a transaction.
Our evolution will not be found in matching a man’s sexual prowess, but instead by stepping into the power of who we truly are. From that place we naturally attract what is worthy of us. As we raise our standards, we offer men the opportunity to rise with us, shaping new foundations for connection, love, and mutual respect, not only for ourselves, but for the generations that follow.
The revolution of sex positivity
True sex positivity calls for a deeper revolution, one that is grounded in healing, emotional depth, and honouring the essence of the feminine. It is not just about freedom or sexual diversity, it is about reclaiming sexuality as a sacred force that connects, uplifts, and transforms us.
Choosing this path means stepping fully into our power by restoring balance, respect, and true intimacy in our relationships.
Healing sexual trauma is part of this journey. It means setting boundaries from a place of self-love, inviting connection that is respectful, and creating emotional safety. When we heal, we no longer unconsciously give our power away. Instead, we open ourselves to the kind of intimacy where we can truly be seen in our fullness, vulnerability, and strength, creating space for passion and respect to naturally coexist.
Choosing slower, deeper, more intentional intimacy is a powerful and necessary step forward. This is the true future of sex positivity, grounded in sacred self-ownership, emotional wholeness, and the radiant expression of who we truly are.
If you're ready to go deeper and reconnect with the truth of who you are, the Dream Weaving Mentorship offers a powerful journey to clear deep-rooted trauma, shift limiting beliefs, and unlock your true potential.
Read more from Niaby Codd
Niaby Codd, Author, Dream Weaver, Transformational Mentor
Niaby is a gifted healer, seer, empath and evidential medium who has spent over a decade honing her natural abilities. As a Transcended Master, she blends together these profound spiritual gifts, with her deep intuitive understanding of human behaviour and trauma, to help people to identify the root-cause of their emotional blocks and limiting beliefs. Using her unique gift as a dream weaver, she helps her clients to release deep-rooted trauma by accessing the subconscious mind through the dream state. A seer of truth, she empowers others to move beyond societal conditioning and reconnect with their authentic selves. Her mission is simple yet profound: to inspire people to be who they came here to be.
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