The Day My Mother Met the Regulated Woman I’ve Become
Updated: Aug 12
Written by Rasha AlShaar, Mind-Body Coach
Rasha AlShaar, Professional Certified Coach (PCC), is a Mind-Body Coach with an integrative approach to healing and self-development. By merging modalities that range from mindset and somatic tools, she's on a mission to facilitate full-body healing and head-to-toe awakenings to help people embody their authentic truth and innate power.
Sometimes, the clearest proof of healing comes in the smallest moments. Rasha AlShaar reflects on a simple interaction with her mother that revealed just how much her inner work, nervous system regulation, and self-development have transformed the way she moves through life.
This week, on my mama’s and my annual trip together, something seemingly simple yet unforgettable happened. See, my mama knows the girl I’ve always been: equally deep and playful, silly and witty to my core. But a few days ago, it felt like she witnessed a newer part of me, one that’s just four or so years old, in a way she never has before.
In the span of 30 minutes, I got to see my mama witness me as the usual playful girl I’ve always been and realize that the dysregulated girl I once was was gone. This summer, Mama really saw the regulated woman I’ve become.
A ruined plan at the pool
It was our last full day on holiday, and we had a meeting for Mama scheduled at 10:00 a.m. that was moved to 2:00 p.m. super last minute. So, we finished up breakfast and decided to have one final relaxing day at the pool. Obviously, happy Rasha!
I had my last bite of a delicious hash brown, got changed, and lay in the sun until I could no longer resist the temptation of going into the empty kiddy pool right in front of me. I wanted to see what it was like to be on a small, bouncy castle-style obstacle built in the water. I’ve never seen one of those in a pool!
Five minutes into fully submerging myself in the water and having way too much fun without a care in the world about who was watching, a full-blown adult play in a kids’ pool without an assigned "kid" in sight, they called Mama and moved the meeting back up to 10:00 a.m.
Mama’s face changed. She told me apologetically that we’d have to head up right away to make it in time, offering several times to go on her own as I was getting out of the pool, in an effort not to ruin my last swim day. To each offer and apology, while still feeling super silly and giggly from my solo playdate, I replied, "Mama, why all the fuss? It’s really no biggie."
As I walked through the reception, trying not to leave a trail of water behind me, as those annoying guests do, Mama was still voicing how bad she felt and how much better it would have been to receive that text just five minutes earlier. To which I replied, "Honestly, it’s okay. It’s completely fine. I’ll take a quick shower, and we’ll head out."
The elevator realization
I showered, got dressed, and as we waited for the elevator, Mama again expressed how bad she felt about ruining my day. I looked at her and said, "There’s nothing you need to be sorry for. It’s literally no one’s fault. Nothing happened. All is well."
There was a moment of silence before Mama said, "Wow, you’ve changed. You really have changed." Without needing to ask for elaboration, I understood. I smiled and said, "I really did. I did a lot of work to get here."
The work behind the peace
That was the moment I felt like my mom saw the work I’ve done on and for myself actually working: the past 12 years of a cocktail of coaching sessions, circles, movement classes, and retreats. The playdates, cooking dates, and movie nights and all the courses, trainings, and certifications.
I didn’t change who I am at my core. The parts of me that were truly me remained, and what wasn’t, dissolved. What changed was my nervous system. What grew was my capacity. I’m still the equally deep and playful one. I’m just no longer the hard, isolated, easily irritable one I was before I admitted I wasn’t okay and realized I wasn’t alone.
Through it all, I learned that behind my sense of disconnection from the world was a disconnection from myself. Behind the tough exterior I carried was a soft, scared little girl whom I learned to hold again. Behind my short temper and irritability were a lot of uncried tears that I finally found safe spaces to shed.
Making Mama proud
So there I was, standing at the elevator at 32 years old, still super playful yet finally regulated, being seen by my sweet, sweet mama as the woman I chose to become.
That, my friends, is a moment I’ll never forget. Because no matter how big I get or how much healing I do, I would still do anything to make my mama proud. For her to not just hear about my healing, but to feel and witness the impact of the very work I do for myself and guide others through. I am proud of myself, too.
If you’d like to explore how I can support you on your own self-growth journey through mindset and somatics, I invite you to book a free consultation call. Together, we’ll chat about where you are today and where you’d like to be.
Read more from Rasha AlShaar
Rasha AlShaar, Mind-Body Coach
With over a decade of experience in healing practices and self-growth tools, Rasha AlShaar founded her coaching practice in 2020, shaping her integrative approach through ongoing personal growth and rigorous training, blending subconscious, emotional, somatic, behavioral, and energetic modalities to best serve her clients. Rooted in her curiosity, driven by her commitment to service, and grounded in her PCC accreditation from the International Coaching Federation with 700+ hours of 1:1 coaching experience, Rasha is on a mission to help others on their transformative journeys as a Mind-Body Coach, guiding them to reconnect with their inherent wisdom and worth through insightful dialogue, embodied experience, and tangible action steps.
