The Blue Tin – Talking About Death And Dying And Starting ‘The Conversation’
- Dec 20, 2022
- 3 min read
Written by: Karen Peddie, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The Blue Tin, I would be about 9-10 years old when my Dad told me he and my Mum had been to make a Will. He gently explained that if anything happened to them, everything I needed to know was in the blue tin. He showed me where the blue tin was and what was inside it. I remember being really scared, I thought they were going to die very soon, and I would be alone. Again, he explained that if the worst did happen and he didn’t expect it to, my Godparents would take care of me. They knew about the blue tin and I had nothing to worry about. We ‘had the conversation’, albeit briefly.
Only now, all these years later, can I understand how difficult that must have been for him. I never looked in the blue tin again until he died aged 78 and as promised, everything Mum and I needed was in there. This, in turn, led to further conversations with my Mum and my daughter and helped me in this work. So, if you can be brave enough to take the first step, to have the first conversation, you can help make this the norm for future generations!
I appreciate not everyone is able to talk about death and dying, so, before we talk about how to have ‘the conversation’, let’s discuss the benefits of doing so? If you do have a fear or phobia about this, Emotional Freedom Techniques can help
5 Benefits of talking about death and dying.
You decide what YOU want to happen. Firstly, some of the documents you may wish to consider looking into are – Last Will and Testament, Power of Attorney and an Advanced Care Directive.
Your wishes are more likely to respected. The written information you put in the above documents will make it easier for your wishes to be followed correctly.
Reduces stress for grieving family and friends. Your loved ones will be able to grieve for you without unnecessary stress and worry. Your wishes will be clear and easily understood.
It can save you money and time. With all the legal documents already in place, your wishes can be carried quickly and easily.
It gives you peace of mind. You are able to live your best life, free in the knowledge that everything is taken care of. Now you just need to keep it updated!
How do I start the conversation?
Prepare – What do you want to say and who do you want to say it to? Jot down your thoughts so you don’t forget anything.
Choose the setting – Would you be more comfortable at home, out for a walk or sat in a café? Be aware the conversation may be emotional and you may want somewhere private.
Go for it – Start the conversation with something like…, “I need your help”, “Can you help me with something?”, “I’ve been thinking about the future and would appreciate your thoughts”.
Listen – Be openminded, they may have ideas you would never have thought of alone!
Remember – you are in control and this is the time to make your wishes known. The most important thing is that you have started the conversation. Be proud of yourself!
Now you are ready to document everything and this is the important bit. No matter how many times you tell people what your wishes are, if it is not written down there is no proof. All that time and effort wasted. If you would like my outline plan to get you started, send me an email to karen@karenpeddieholistics.co.uk and I will send you one completely FREE. This is just to get you thinking so when you are ready, I will be happy to facilitate a plan with you. Follow me on Facebook too!
Karen Peddie, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Karen is a natural, intuitive Energy Healer who uses Reiki, Emotional Freedom Techniques, and Meditation to help her clients improve their health and well-being. She works with them to identify and heal the root cause of any dis-ease which could be blocking the flow of energy either physically, mentally, or emotionally. As someone who suffered from anxiety, stress, and depression for many years, Karen's experience makes her a genuine, empathetic therapist who creates a safe, calm space in which to start the healing process
