The Art Of Listening – I Learned To Listen Through Trial And Error ‒ You Don’t Have To
Written by: Pauline Morris, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
As a doctor and coach, I listen, a lot. Throw in wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter, etc, well, that’s a lot of listening.
Listening is a life skill, professionally and personally, no news there.
But it wasn’t a skill I was taught, most people aren’t, so I’m not alone.
I didn’t even consider listening a skill until well into adulthood; not even through medical school, and training did I truly understand the art of listening. Professors here and there would allude to the importance of listening, but it was listening with the intent to reach a conclusion, a diagnosis. This is listening with the mind, listening to direct a course of action.
What I had to discover and learn, is that my patients and clients needed me to listen with heart.
Be selfish
Listening benefits you, the listener. The more you listen the better your life will be. Here’s why
You’ll learn something new – ie you need to learn or know something, you need information– that’s an obvious one.
You’ll feel good – The person doing the talking feels better and making others feel better boosts our mood!
You become more patient just by having to sit still and listen.
Listening helps you develop your growth mindset, even if you don’t agree or like what you’re hearing (this bit helps with the patience too)
Your network expands. You become known as a good listener; more people will seek you out. You become known as a leader, advocate and friend.
Listen with integrity
This can be challenging, but it becomes less so if we can learn to listen with heart!
Create safe spaces for listeners, not just physical space, emotionally, psychological safety is paramount.
Listen not to respond, but to understand, different views and perspectives.
Tune out your inner voice that starts formulating responses and counter-arguments – Keeping eye contact helps with this and has the added benefit of showing care and attentiveness.
Let the speaker speak, try your best not to interrupt. If appropriate make notes, rather than interrupt.
Let the speaker finish. Sometimes that’s all people need.
Don’t ignore body language, theirs and yours.
You won’t always agree or like what you hear. Being a good listener means getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Be kind to yourself, you won’t always get it right.
Listening is tough, it can even be distressing, worrying, heart-wrenching. You too should have support, someone who can listen to you without judgment.
20 years of the art of listening in less than 10 bullet points.
In short, if you want to be successful in life professionally and personally you need to listen and listen well.
You’ll learn more, make less mistakes, be happier and most importantly having the right people in your life is of immeasurable value for present and your future!
What would you add to get the list to 10? Let me know!
You can follow Pauline on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and can book a session through her website!
Pauline Morris, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Spanning several regions including the Caribbean, Middle East and the United Kingdom, Dr. Pauline Morris brings a wealth of experience as a leader within and outside of medicine, as a Consultant Anaesthetist and a Career Coach. After becoming a single mum at 17 and choosing a life of caring for others, she realised the true difficulties doctors face in attaining happy healthy lives, whilst providing a gold standard of care to their patients. As the founder of Doctors Caring for Doctors, a career coaching and support service for physicians, her mission is to help all doctors discover how they can have a fulfilling life and a successful career without burning out.
In crafting her own successful career as a physician and entrepreneur, she is well placed to help doctors who crave inspired solutions to the competing demands of a medical career and home life.
One of her greatest gifts is her ability to authentically connect with her clients, allowing them the space to find the complete clarity that leads them to their own unique path, emotional freedom, personal joy and professional achievement.
