Written by: Heather Guernsey, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise
Self-love. It’s what’s trending. It’s all the rage— a bit blasé even. Perhaps it’s become such a cliché term used by online influencers that you choose to steer clear of it altogether— I get that. BUT, have you ever stopped to think about what it actually means to love yourself? One way to become aware of the negative self-narratives many of us carry is to take a sentence or thought that we have about ourselves and ask, “Would I have said that to someone that I love?” If the answer is “no,” then why, in the name of all things good and pure, do you think it’s ok to talk to yourself like that!? Here’s a rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t say it to them, don’t say it to yourself! Easier said than done though; after years of this abusive self-dialogue, it can be a hard habit to break. But why is it such an important issue to tackle?
Your subconscious mind hears everything, sees everything, and stores all of your memories that your conscious mind can’t even remember. So every time you fall back on that self-deprecating “humor” or stare at yourself in the mirror and think “no one’s ever gonna want to marry THAT,” you are absorbing these thoughts as subconscious beliefs. We have the ability to program our subconscious minds, and you have been doing so in a wildly negative fashion for years, without even realizing it.
The law of attraction comes into play here, too. We are all magnificent energetic beings, traipsing around earth having our human experiences, and we are all functioning at a certain level of vibration. The happier and more fulfilled you are— the higher your vibration will be. The more depressed, angry, and stressed you are— the lower your vibration will be. So the more you continue your negative self-talk, the more your subconscious believes it, and the lower your vibration becomes. This makes you more prone to attracting low-vibrational people, circumstances, jobs, etc.— and who wants any of that crap?! In order to raise your vibration and be truly happy, you must begin to love yourself, and a great jumping-off point for that is by rewriting your self-narrative; even if you don’t fully believe it just yet.
So how do we begin? The first step is key, and it’s simply to become more aware. Begin to take note of just how often you’re falling back on self-deprecation to make yourself feel comfortable or to “fit in.” Perhaps you’re a visual learner and you’d prefer to keep a running tally in the Notes app on your phone. For every negative thought you have or comment that you make about yourself, type an “X” in your note. You may be surprised by the end of the day, week, or month, by how many X’s have appeared. The goal here is not to shame you more than you’ve been shaming yourself— but to create a habit of becoming aware of your thoughts— and if you make it a game to keep track of them, you will innately begin to realize when they are happening, as they are happening.
And when you can begin to catch them in the moment when you are about to say something mean about yourself for a laugh, or when you have a harsh thought about yourself, then you are able to switch the narrative. You get to catch yourself and realize, “Oh, wait— I’m not a dumb blonde— that’s just a stereotype from society based on my looks alone that I’ve accidentally chosen to live up to on some level. I have a Master’s degree for God’s sake,” and then you can insert a positive thought or sentence in its place. We call these affirmations. “I am a smart and talented woman who doesn’t rely on the opinions of others to know my worth.” BOOM! Subconscious hears this, and begins to absorb that level of positivity to replace the negative poppycock you’ve been feeding it all these years!
The results will shock you! It’s such a simple habit to practice, but the more you subconsciously love yourself, the more you can consciously love yourself, the better you are going to attract into your life, and the happier you will be! So quit the trash-talk, stop hanging out with low-vibin’ trolls who like to gossip and put each other down “for fun” and raise your vibrational frequency with the power of your own loving self-narrative!
Heather Guernsey, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Originally from Maine, Heather has been a dancer & performer her whole life, and spent the majority of the last decade performing on the stages of Las Vegas. Over a year ago, she embarked on her spiritual journey and was led to The Emotion Code method of energy healing- and the rest is history! Heather owns a remote energy healing business called Soul Path Energy Healing and currently practices the Emotion Code modality (though her repertoire is expanding quickly!), supplemented by Oracle Card readings and other offerings to help her clients process the healing that they are receiving. This work has changed Heather’s life, and the lives of so many others. She is so passionate about her purpose and hopes to help as many people as possible through this miraculous work!