Self-Talk – From Negative Conversations To Self-Improvement
Jamille Edwards founded Golden Century Wellness—a sanctuary for those ready and willing to invest in their well-being. Through her work, Jamille aims not only to heal but to empower individuals to transcend societal stigmas and realize their fullest potential.
Self-talk is a conversation that people have with themselves, influencing how we perceive situations, make decisions, and ultimately, how we feel about ourselves. Self-talk may often be the most important conversation a person has. It may also be the most frequent form of interpersonal interaction as well. The reality is that mental wellness fluctuates, thoughts can be negative, and self-awareness can change depending on the situation.
Self-talk is crucial for our mental well-being and self-perception. Negative self-talk, such as feeling completely worthless, reflects low self-worth and can be damaging. On the other hand, self-sabotaging self-talk involves undermining oneself despite recognizing potential worth, often due to fear of failure or past disappointments. Both forms can hinder personal growth and resilience.
Self-sabotage is the defense mechanism that people can use to create an impact that is not very beneficial. Self-sabotage comes in many forms but is inflicted on a person by themselves. So, there is no one else to blame or point fingers at. Some examples of self-sabotage are talking yourself into doing something you do not want to do, not trusting yourself, or criticizing yourself. Self-talk is just one way to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, yet a person may not even realize they are doing it.
Some examples of self-talk that include self-sabotaging mechanisms look different from negative self-talk:
Negative self-talk
“I am completely worthless.”
Self-sabotaging self-talk
“I think I am worth this, but I know I will let myself down, so why even try.”
The self-talk that can be seen as negative shows low self-worthiness. While self-sabotaging self- talk
shows that a person consciously wants to change but talks themselves out of it.
Some ways to improve self-talk
Take note of your self-talk
Write down what you are saying to yourself
Talk or speak out loud
Record yourself talking/then listen
Acknowledge that you engage in self-talk
Monitor your thought process
List steps on how you do things
Read about ways to improve your mindset
Re-assess how you treat yourself
Be honest while in therapy
Improve your self-awareness
Identify things you have done
Define important ideas
By becoming more aware of our self-talk patterns, we can replace self-defeating thoughts with more supportive and encouraging ones. People can use self-talk to change the way they think, how they feel, and what they do. Even if the conversation shifts to:
“I think I am worth this and could give myself a few days to think about it.” “I think I am worth this and have not tried for several reasons.”
“I think I am worth this and may be successful with a stronger plan.” “I think I am worth this and want to consider it more.”
“I think I am worth this but have let myself down in the past.” “I think I am worth this, so why am I changing my mind.”
“I think I am worth this and have thought about it several times.”
The goal is to learn more about what is said, when, and why. Some people will realize that their self-talk has been suppressing them from moving forward and that they could unlearn several
behavioral patterns they were unaware of. Soon, negative self-talk or self-sabotaging self-talk will decrease, and self-talking patterns will change over time. It's an ongoing process of self- discovery and improvement that can lead to more positive self-perceptions and healthier behaviors.
Read more from Jamille Edwards
Jamille Edwards, Counselor, Educator, Consultant, Author, and Public Speaker
Jamille Edwards has invested a decade of her life exploring the intricacies of psychology, counseling, and spiritual practices. With a wealth of knowledge under her belt, she founded Golden Century Wellness—a platform that offers a diverse range of services aimed at promoting mental and emotional well-being. From personalized counseling and empowering coaching sessions to enlightening workshops, insightful articles, and impactful books, Jamille's mission is to guide individuals on their journey toward self-discovery, healing, and personal growth. Through her expertise and compassionate approach, she seeks to empower others to unlock their true potential and lead fulfilling lives.
