Self-Care 101 – Stop Being Nice
- Mar 7, 2024
- 5 min read
Written by: Ana Salido, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
For those who haven’t met me yet, I’m Ana, and I’ve been calling Australia home for the past eight years. Little did I know this journey down under marked the beginning of my quest to prioritise myself.
Leaving France was a pivotal decision driven by my need for personal growth and authenticity.
In France, I was the quintessential “good girl,” always striving to keep the peace and please others.
However, it dawned on me that this facade was merely a mask hiding my true desires.
The realisation hit hard—I was living a life that lacked fulfilment, merely going through the motions to please others.
The turning point came when I grasped the distinction between being nice and being kind.
Being nice often involves self-sacrifice, while being kind requires setting healthy boundaries.
This revelation unearthed a deeper truth ingrained in many women—the societal pressure to prioritise niceness over authenticity.
1. Changing our mindset
The first hurdle to overcome in prioritising ourselves lies in our mindset.
Understanding the disparity between being nice and being kind is pivotal.
While being nice may foster temporary harmony, true kindness stems from genuine compassion and empathy, leaving a lasting impact on both ourselves and others.
Setting boundaries becomes more manageable once we grasp this concept.
Communicating our needs and desires in a gentle yet assertive manner dispels the guilt associated with prioritising ourselves.
It’s about honouring our authenticity while maintaining healthy connections with those around us.
Being nice
Motivation: Being nice often stems from a desire to maintain social harmony or avoid conflict. It may involve saying or doing things that please others, even if it’s not genuine or aligned with one’s true feelings.
Intentions: The intention behind being nice is often to gain approval or avoid negative consequences. It may involve suppressing one’s true thoughts or feelings in order to conform to societal expectations or please others.
Impact: While being nice may result in temporary harmony or positive responses from others, it can also lead to feelings of resentment or dissatisfaction if the individual feels they are compromising their own values or needs. Additionally, being nice without genuine care or concern may not have a lasting or meaningful impact on others.
Being kind
Motivation: Being kind stems from a genuine desire to alleviate suffering or promote the well-being of others. It involves acts of compassion, empathy, and consideration for the feelings and needs of others.
Intentions: The intention behind being kind is to genuinely connect with others and make a positive difference in their lives, without expecting anything in return. It involves acting from a place of authenticity and empathy.
Impact: Being kind often has a deeper and more lasting impact on both the individual and those around them. It fosters genuine connections, builds trust, and contributes to a sense of community and mutual support. Acts of kindness can uplift others, inspire positive change, and create a ripple effect of compassion and goodwill.
Click on this article.
2. Identify your needs and desires
To effectively prioritise ourselves, we must first identify our needs and desires. This clarity serves as a compass guiding our actions and decisions toward a fulfilling life aligned with our values and aspirations.
It gives us:
Clarity of direction: When you know what you truly desire and need, you gain clarity about the direction you want your life to take. This clarity allows you to set meaningful goals and make choices that are in alignment with your aspirations, leading to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.
Healthy boundaries: Knowing your desires and needs empowers you to set and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships and interactions with others. It allows you to communicate your limits and priorities effectively, protecting your time, energy, and emotional well-being.
Effective decision-making: When faced with choices or opportunities, understanding your desires and needs helps you make decisions that are in alignment with your values and priorities. It enables you to discern between options that support your growth and those that detract from it, leading to more intentional and fulfilling outcomes.
Self-care and well-being: Prioritising your own needs and desires is essential for your overall well-being. By knowing what nourishes and replenishes you, you can cultivate self-care practices that promote physical, emotional, and mental health, ensuring you have the energy and resilience to thrive.
Empowerment and self-advocacy: Understanding your desires and needs empowers you to advocate for yourself and pursue what truly matters to you. It gives you the confidence to assert your needs, speak up for yourself, and take ownership of your life, leading to greater autonomy and empowerment.
3. Cultivating a self-care practice
Cultivating a self-care practice is integral to this journey.
However, it’s not a one-time endeavour but an ongoing commitment to our well-being. Just as we nourish our bodies daily, our self-care routine requires consistent attention and adaptation to meet our evolving needs.
In my own journey, honouring my commitments to myself—like drinking enough water daily—has boosted my self-confidence and reinforced my ability to set boundaries.
Prioritising ourselves isn’t selfish; it’s a necessary step toward living authentically and fostering meaningful connections.
If you want more resources, I wrote a blog article about self-care:
Click here. Self-Care 101: The Importance of Putting Yourself First
In summary
Prioritising ourselves involves shifting our mindset,
Identifying our needs,
Cultivating self-care practices, and
Honouring our commitments to ourselves.
By embarking on this inward journey, we pave the way for a life filled with authenticity, fulfilment, and joy.
Are you ready to prioritise yourself and embark on this transformative journey?
If you feel the call, send me an email at hello@anasalido.com and I will send you the link to watch the masterclass it will give you a 30-minute free coaching with me when we can map out a personalised plan for you to start prioritising yourself.
Ana Salido, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ana is a passionate and dedicated mentor and life coach, and she advocated for women's empowerment. With over 8 years of experience in the field, she has helped countless women reconnect with themselves, achieve their goals, and cultivate fulfilling relationships.
Driven by her journey of self-discovery and personal growth, Ana is deeply committed to guiding women on their path to self-love, authenticity and empowerment.
Known for her warmth, compassion and unwavering support, Ana creates a safe and nurturing space for women to explore their innermost desires, confront their fears and step into their full potential.
