New Year, New Me, No Way
Updated: Jan 9, 2024
Written by: Nicola Ball, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It’s always the same at this time of year. I’m going to do X, Y or Z. Be it lose weight, dry January, or take up a new hobby. My favourite one is about fitness. I was out walking yesterday, and I had never seen so many joggers in my life, congratulation to them all! The gyms are awash with new eager fitness people who will be blowing dust off their membership cards in a few months.
We all have a burning desire to reach our goals, to be our best self and there’s something about having the downtime over the festive to rest and reflect upon the changes we may want to make.
That said how often if you are being honest, and I include myself in this do you actually stick to what you say? You may stick to it for a few months, a few weeks or even just a few days. How does that leave you feeling, when you’ve thrown in the towel? Usually not too great about yourself.
So why is this a phenomenon in January and why can’t we stick to what we set out to do.
Before I understood myself and the magic of achieving, I would feel the same way every year. I’d set some audacious goal and reach for the moon and usually fall at the first hurdle. I am someone who has achieved a huge amount in my life, overcoming adversity, raising a family single-handedly, abuse, building and running a business, changing careers, but I ALWAYS felt like it wasn’t enough, or more accurately, I wasn’t enough.
I had to aim for thinner, stronger, fitter, healthier, richer, better partner- parent- child-friend and the list would go on, and this was me chasing away a feeling of not being good enough, NOT driving me towards what I actually wanted to achieve for myself.
I worked on the part of me that didn’t believe I was good enough, and the whole ‘fake it till you make it’, saying took me so far, but it didn’t chase away the deep sense of being a fraud, of just not being smart enough or ever enough no matter I did.
Then I would quit, check out, and not want to chase it anymore. I’d feel burnout, and the worst part was feeling like a failure. For me failure equals weakness.
You know if any of this resonates with you, there is some work to do on this belief, I even today as a therapist still have to work on this, to ensure I am aligned with myself and not to the false sense of If I do this, then maybe I’ll be good enough.
The only real person you have to be accountable to is yourself. You must be good enough for YOU, and only you. You must learn to love yourself, and I mean every single bit of you, even your wobbly bits!
If you make one area to focus on this year, make it your core belief system and get to work on the deep beliefs that hold you back from smashing 2024!
If you’d like to set up a consultation, you can do this here.
Nicola Ball, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Nicola Ball, Managing Director of a counselling and CBT organisation in Scotland. Ball is a self-proclaimed former stress head, having swapped a career in FTSE 100 companies to align with her own values and become a better less stressed version of herself. Following training as a CBT Therapist, Ball spends her time educating people, companies and public sector staff on the impact stress has on the body and the mind and of course the performance of the company and people.
