Need Heartbreak Healing Help? Nine Tips From a Senior Practitioner
Updated: Jul 1
Cameron Tukapua coaches people to heal and transform their lives and relationships through conscious Self-care. Her offerings are based on four decades of clinical acupuncture and teaching experience. Cameron is the author of 'Heartfelt Living – How to Navigate Change and Healing: Your Ancient Wisdom Guide'.
Finding it hard to recover from heartbreak? You are not alone! In this article, a Chinese medicine practitioner shares practical ways to see and heal your heartbreak. Unlock ancient wisdom secrets that have kept millions of people healthy for thousands of years. Whether your heartbreak is recent or ancient, these holistic healing tips can help you reclaim your power to heal your life. The love you are seeking lives inside you.
1. Expect some confusion
In Chinese medicine, it is known that our heart rules our mind. Therefore, clear thinking when heartbroken will be challenging. Unclear thinking results in confusion, which is to be expected when the heart is hurting. Be patient with yourself.
To navigate this challenge, stay focused on what you are clear about, which will help settle your thoughts. Do things to bring your mind to the body, like exercise, qigong, and yoga. Avoid making important decisions when you are not clear. Always wait for clarity.
2. Your heart controls your depths of being, protect it
Your heart is located behind the sternum and is covered by a membrane called the pericardium. These structures protect the heart physically, mentally, and emotionally in Chinese medicine.
Thoughts and emotions are easily dysregulated by the external environment in times of heartbreak. Be mindful of who comes close to you when you are out of balance. When people separate, sometimes one of the partners wants to stay friends. In an acute heartbreak situation, it may be kinder to withdraw from that person to allow time for healing.
Can’t stay away from the source of your heartbreak
In situations of shared responsibilities, for example, if there are children involved, and/or in a business that requires ongoing communication, distance yourself when you can. If you don’t feel safe, having an extra person in a shared space can help defuse some of the emotional tension.
3. You are always more whole than broken
In modern medicine and most mainstream psychology, the primary focus is on the wound, with an emphasis on examining what is wrong. By contrast, ancient wisdom and holistic healing traditions focus on strengthening natural balance. They can work well in tandem.
Know that your heart is all-powerful and can still operate with a crack. Contemplate other heartbreak times in your life. Consider how these experiences helped you to develop your inner strength and wisdom.
As Leonard Cohen sings in his song Anthem,
"Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.”
4. Honouring the highest in ourselves and others
Your heart is the home of your higher self-awareness, which is attuned to love and wisdom. It deserves to be honoured. When heartbreak happens in a relationship with someone who does not know how to love and respect others, you may still feel betrayed, foolish, and stupid. We have all been there!
In the Yogic traditions, we are taught to recognise love as an internal state, not an external experience. We experience love when we go inside ourselves.
Invoke the love that lives within you. Place both hands on your heart and visualise your higher self awareness as a bright light above, pouring love into your being. Invite all the cells and tissues of your body to open and receive this love. Ask that any and all cellular memories of hurt and suffering be cleared from your system. Do this practice in bed before sleep.
5. Allow time for repositioning
Heartbreak involving relocation of personal spaces and property is disorienting. Our homes, neighbourhoods, and workplaces represent our extended sense of self. Shifting away from the familiar and known can be very destabilising, especially if we rely on the external world for security.
The boundaries of committed relationships act as containers for our energy. In the early stages of separation, we may feel unsure of how to act and be. Many clients describe a sense of free fall in these moments as they struggle to find themselves outside of the relationship.
When your world has been tipped upside down, it may be wise to seek support from solid friends and professional helpers to help hold you steady.
6. Turn up the light
In Chinese medicine, the heart is ruled by the sun, which belongs to the fire element. The radiant power of light strengthens our heart energy. The associated emotions are joy and love.
In heartbreak times, life can feel dark and sad. To reignite the heart flame, it can be helpful to light candles, watch the sunrise, and sit around a fire. Uplifting music and books with feel-good endings can also help.
7. Heartbreak to heart awakening
Heartbreak can rip us apart. It is the worst kind of pain and activates our vulnerabilities. Like grief, it is a compound emotion and can trigger other old hurts as well. If we allow ourselves to feel our pain by going inside, we can find our inner courage. Heart awakening is the hidden gift of heartbreak, and Brené Brown speaks beautifully to this in her TED Talk.
8. Heartfelt living, healing as a way of being
Reclaiming the most whole version of ourselves is a heartfelt lifetime journey. It involves learning to trust ourselves and others.
Learning to live guided by our own truth is a day-by-day process of learning and unlearning. Staying present and connected to life’s challenges and those around us is the learning ground. Heartbreak can be a powerful path to spiritual awakening, as it takes us to the core of our inner selves.
9. Love is the way
The heart is our portal to an authentic life. Showing up to what is right in front of us is the path to healing. The magic of life is always available, here, now. The superpower of life is love. When we look for the highest in ourselves and others, we can feel more whole. As we learn to live love, we discover that healing is a way of being.
Are you ready to go deeper into your healing journey?
Whether you are seeking a path to lifelong wellbeing or support for your professional development, I may be able to help. Connect with me for a free call. Together, we can explore how Heartfelt journeying can support you to free yourself to be yourself.
Read more from Cameron Tukapua
Cameron Tukapua, Heartfelt Living Coach, Chinese Medicine Practitioner
Cameron Tukapua is a wellbeing coach who shares ancient wisdom teachings from Chinese Medicine, along with Qigong, Yoga, and Meditation practices. She helps people align the head and heart. Cameron has written a book called ‘Heartfelt Living', and her work has been featured in Thrive Global. She offers Individual coaching, online study pathways, and face-to-face wellbeing retreats.
