Learning to Appreciate Opposition

Written by: Jenny Dilts, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

The Law of Opposition is one of the governing principles of the Universe. In every aspect of nature and throughout the Circle of Life, this idea can be seen. Birth and death, day and night, water and land, the cycle of the seasons.

In the Eastern tradition, this concept of duality is expressed by Taijitu, or the symbol of the yin and the yang. They flow into each other and complement each other perfectly. Neither can be found without the other, and their relationship changes with time. The Tao Te Ching states, “When people see things as beautiful, ugliness is created. When people see things as good, evil is created. Being and non-being produce each other. Difficult and easy complement each other. Long and short define each other. High and low oppose each other. Fore and aft follow each other.”

A couple of years ago, a friend reached out to me when her sister died by suicide. She wanted help planning a memorial service for her that would honor her life. In the ensuing weeks, I supported her and, through her, her family in working with the traumatic and complicated logistics following the death.

One night in particular, my friend called me because the darkness was so thick, and the trauma and the pain were so heavy. She was so scared that she was having difficulty getting to sleep. As we talked, I stayed with her and created a safe and peaceful space for her.

When I shared the concept of the law of opposites, she saw how this applied to her situation. Without our dark and painful times, we wouldn’t know to appreciate the lighter and more pleasant times. And the light of the sunrise reminds us that the dark of the night doesn’t last forever. As we talked about this balance and opposition concept, my friend found a deep sense of internal calm. She felt that I had spoken Truth. By the end of our conversation, she left knowing that she could learn to value even this intense trial.

My friend shared with me times when she and her family laughed together at funny memories from her sister's life. There were also times when she was curled up in a ball on the floor, stricken with grief. And they breathed through it all together. They found love and healing and miracles beyond their imagination as they leaned on and supported one another in the watchful care of their Savior.

One of my favorite quotes is by Muhammed Ahmed. "When it's darkest, we can see the stars. They're always there. You just gotta remember to tip your head back and look up." If we didn’t experience the darkness, we wouldn’t appreciate the beauty of the light. And our perspective can make all the difference. If you would like some support finding the stars in your dark night, reach out to me, and we’ll stargaze together.

Email me at and visit my website. You can also reach out by phone at +1-925-335-6437.

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Jenny Dilts, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Jenny Dilts stands as a lighthouse for people in grief. Her naturally calming and soothing personality brings a sense of peace and security to those around her. Jenny's journey as a Grief Coach began when she sat with a friend days after her husband's sudden death. Holding that space for her unlocked and ignited a passion for supporting others in their grief. Another pivotal experience for Jenny was guiding a friend through the grief following her sister's death by suicide. Jenny's ability to appreciate both the darkness and the light guides others to move forward with their grief, create a new normal for themselves, and build a relationship with Grief and Gratitude. Jenny is the founder of Grieving Coach and host of the podcast Share Your Story where we explore humanity one soul at a time.



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