Keys To Overcoming Undesirable Socialized Behaviors In Women
Written by: Stacie Carroll, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Women bring unique perspectives and talents to the workplace. Studies have shown that organizations that have women are more emotionally intelligent, employees generally feel more cared for making them less likely to leave and therefore the organization has a greater chance at success. Interestingly, according to Time magazine women in the US in 2020 made up the majority of the workforce at 50.4%.
So then why are women still underrepresented in c-suites and upper-level management positions?
While we as women cannot necessarily change the thoughts, biases and actions of others we can recognize behaviors and tendencies within ourselves that are hindering our abilities of making it into those high-level positions.
According to Brad Johnson and David Smith in their book Athena Rising; many women have been socialized from a young age to exhibit certain behaviors or ideals which are detrimental to their career progression. Examples of these include:
Hesitancy to ask for what they want
Behaving in ways to avoid seeming overconfident
Glossing over inappropriate behaviors to avoid conflict
People Pleasing
Being overly cooperative
Avoiding competition
These behaviors can manifest in several ways.
For example, people pleasing can manifest as assimilation to a male dominated environment, the woman looking or acting masculine. People pleasing can also be seen when a woman is unable to say no to her peers or bosses.
Avoiding competition can manifest in not taking full credit for one’s work, allowing another teammate to take the credit, or not putting oneself in for a promotion they know someone else also desires.
When it comes to women being hesitant to ask for what they want, many women find it difficult to ask for promotions or opportunities often leading to the unfortunate assumption by leadership that she is not interested.
These examples are not the only way detrimental socialized behaviors rear their ugly head. Many women struggle with these behaviors in differing ways.
In order to overcome these behaviors women first need to be aware of them. Working with a mentor or coach can help women to evaluate where they are and why they are stuck. Which of the above behaviors are they exhibiting?
Next women need to choose an action to replace the detrimental behavior with. For example, if a woman is consistently allowing other teammates to take credit for all the work, her action is to vocally take credit for her portion of the work in front of both her teammates and her bosses.
This replacement action can be difficult without outside support. A coach can walk with a woman as she gains the ability to replace this behavior and support her by holding her accountable. Without accountability there is no change.
How many women do you know who would love a promotion, a new position, to work on a certain project, more flexible hours, etc. but aren’t willing to ask for it? Often, men are better at asking for what they want which can be the deciding factor on them getting that promotion.
Ultimately, we women need to do our part if we want to find ourselves in higher level positions. We need to recognize our detrimental behaviors, replace them with positive actions and reach out for help when we are stuck.
Stacie Carroll, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Stacie is an executive leadership coach with 17 years of experience leading in high pressure, male dominated environments. Stacie takes her leadership experience coupled with her education in engineering and applies this expertise to her coaching. She helps leaders and organizations become more successful and competitive through proven leadership development and thriving organizational cultures. Stacie is a Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) advocate who helps leaders to start cultural conversations around DEIB and to forge pathways toward an organization’s DEIB goals. Lastly, she is a certified strengths coach helping individuals and teams understand the genius of who they truly are. Her mission: To create leaders and organizations who are self-aware, strong yet empathetic and have positive, productive and inclusive cultures.
References in order of appearance in this article:
Huang, Jess, Irina Starikova, Delia Zanoschi, Alexis Krivkovich, and Lareina Yee. Women in the Workplace 2021. McKinsey & Company. https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace
Johnson, W. Brad, David G. Smith, “Athena Rising: How and why Men Should Mentor Women”. Bibliomotion, Inc. 2016.
Law, Tara. Women are Now the Majority of the U.S. Workforce – But Working Women Still Face Serious Challenges. January 16, 2020. https://time.com/5766787/women-workforce/
