Intuition vs. Anxiety, How to Finally Tell the Difference
- 1 day ago
- 8 min read
Katie Ruffino, PA-C, NLP Master Practitioner, and founder of Pure Pathways Collective, merges medicine, mindset, and artistry to inspire holistic transformation. Known for her work in detoxification, subconscious rewiring, and her Katie in the Kitchen series, she helps leaders embody health, vitality, and authentic self-expression.
What if the goal isn't to always know which choice is “right,” but to trust yourself enough to choose? “Is this my intuition… or am I just anxious?” I’ve asked myself some version of this question more times than I can count.
For years, I could analyze a decision from every possible angle. I’d ask people I trusted what they thought, pay attention to every feeling in my body, look for signs, weigh the pros and cons, and somehow end up even more confused than when I started.
I thought I had a problem making decisions. What I eventually realized was that I had a problem trusting myself with the consequences of them.
I wanted to know I was making the right choice. I wanted certainty. If I could just figure out whether the feeling inside me was intuition or anxiety, maybe I could guarantee everything would work out the way I wanted it to.
Except that isn’t how life works, and I don’t think that’s how intuition works either.
Sometimes we aren't confused, we just don't like what we're hearing
I learned this most painfully through relationships. I remember being in a relationship that contained genuinely good things. There was love, and there were parts of the partnership I deeply wanted. There were also things that felt misaligned.
My body would sometimes shake around him for no logical reason. At times, I felt trapped, like I had somehow lost my autonomy. There were moments when I didn't feel emotionally safe, values that didn't completely align, and a quiet feeling underneath everything telling me something was off. But my mind had plenty of counterarguments.
Maybe this is my fear of commitment or me being too perfectionistic. Maybe I need better boundaries, or I’m expecting too much. Maybe there's something wrong with me.
Honestly, some of those questions were worth asking. I had my own patterns to take responsibility for. I had fears around losing myself in relationships. I hadn't always communicated boundaries well, and I cared too much about what my life and relationship looked like from the outside.
It wasn't as simple as “my intuition was right and everything else was wrong.” That's exactly the point. I remember thinking: Why don't I want this? Why isn't my body cooperating? I wish it could be him.
Eventually, the quiet voice wasn't so quiet anymore. At one point, I heard internally with startling clarity: “You cannot have kids with this man.”
Whether you would call that my higher self, subconscious mind, spiritual guidance, or something else, I knew I needed to pay attention.
Sometimes we aren't struggling to hear our inner knowing; we're struggling to accept what it might be telling us.
An uncomfortable feeling isn't automatically intuition
This is where conversations about intuition can become overly simplistic. You've probably heard some version of: Intuition is calm. Anxiety is loud. There can be truth in that, but I've found real discernment to be much messier.
Sometimes discomfort is your unconscious mind trying to protect you from change. Sometimes it's an old wound being activated. Sometimes you're stepping outside an identity that has kept you safe for years. Sometimes your body is giving you information that deserves your attention.
Multiple things can be happening at once, and that's why I've learned not to immediately assign meaning to every sensation.
A feeling is information. It isn't always an instruction. Instead of immediately asking, “What does this mean?” try asking, “What is this trying to communicate with me?” That's a very different conversation.
Anxiety and intuition can exist at the same time
One of the biggest misconceptions may be that we have to determine whether we're experiencing anxiety or intuition. Sometimes it's both.
Your anxiety may be responding to what your intuition is asking you to confront. Or anxiety may be trying to keep you inside something familiar because familiarity feels safer than uncertainty.
I experienced this when I left my full-time job at a medical clinic. I had spent more than a decade working toward that life. I had stable income, a supportive team, familiarity, credentials, and a career most people around me understood. Leaving felt insane.
I didn't have a beautifully organized five-year plan waiting on the other side. I didn't even know exactly what I wanted. I just knew: I don't know what I want yet, but I know it isn't this. Many people around me thought leaving was a terrible idea. I was scared, and I left anyway.
The feeling afterward was completely different. I felt liberated. Free. Like the world had suddenly opened again. That didn't mean leaving eliminated the anxiety. Entrepreneurship introduced an entirely new collection of things to worry about: where my next client would come from, how I'd pay rent, and what I was actually building.
But underneath that fear was something different: expansion, possibility, and aliveness.
The relationship and career decisions both contained fear and uncertainty, yet one felt like I was trying to convince myself to stay, while the other felt like I was terrified to go and knew I wanted to anyway.
So instead of only asking: “Is this anxiety or intuition?” I've started asking: “What is my anxiety responding to, and what might my intuition be communicating underneath it?”
What if there isn't a “right” decision?
This realization changed the way I think about self-trust altogether. I spent much of my life trying to optimize for pleasure and peace while eliminating as much possibility of suffering as I could.
Ironically, that created more suffering. Because when your goal becomes “I need to make the right decision so I don't get hurt,” every meaningful choice starts carrying an enormous amount of pressure.
You analyze, ruminate, justify, ask another person, and search for another sign. Eventually, discernment becomes another way of avoiding the responsibility of choosing. Here's the part I wish someone had taught me earlier: Intuition isn't a guarantee that your choice will produce the outcome you want.
There were growing pains if I stayed in medicine, and there were growing pains if I left. There were lessons available if I stayed in that relationship, and there were lessons available if I left.
Every road contains experiences we cannot completely predict, so perhaps the goal isn't finding the magical path where nothing hurts.
Perhaps the question becomes, “Which experience am I choosing, and do I trust myself to meet what comes next?”
Self-trust doesn't mean ignoring everyone else
I don't think most of us consciously decided to stop trusting ourselves. It happens gradually. As children, adults make decisions for us. We learn to be good, keep the peace, get the correct answer, follow the rules, and make people proud. Then adulthood gives us even more places to search for certainty.
Experts. Doctors. Coaches. Partners. Parents. Podcasts. Social media. Spiritual teachers. Algorithms. External wisdom isn't the problem. I still seek counsel from people I respect. I value science. I have mentors. I pray. I learn from people who know far more than I do in different areas.
Self-trust doesn't mean rejecting outside wisdom. It means refusing to abandon your own wisdom in its presence.
For me, this has also become deeply spiritual. My relationship with God has evolved into trusting that divine guidance doesn't always have to come from outside of me. I believe it can move through us, too. That doesn't mean every thought in my head is God speaking.
It means discernment requires enough quiet to notice what is fear, what is conditioning, what is desire, and what feels like deeper guidance. Then I still have to choose.
Clear the noise, then choose
When I'm facing a major decision, I've learned that demanding an immediate answer usually isn't helpful. First, I clear some noise.
Physically: Can I ground myself enough to actually feel what's happening in my body?
Mentally: What beliefs, old stories, or other people's expectations are influencing me?
Emotionally: What haven't I allowed myself to feel?
Spiritually: Can I become quiet enough to listen without demanding certainty?
Then I notice instead of judging or forcing. I listen. I've also learned my own internal language. For me, anxiety tends to create tightness, rumination, pressure, and a desperate need to figure everything out. Clear intuitive yeses often bring expansion or a simple internal 'yes'.
Truth often creates something even simpler: acceptance. My body relaxes, and energy becomes available again. Your signals may be completely different.
The point isn't memorizing someone else's list of “signs your intuition is speaking.” It's becoming fluent in your own.
Practice before the decision feels life-or-death
Please don't wait until you're deciding whether to marry someone, quit your career, or move across the country to begin practicing self-trust. Start smaller.
Do I actually want to go tonight?
Do I need rest or movement?
Do I want to say yes?
Do I actually mean no?
Listen. Choose. Notice what happens. Learn. Choose again. You're collecting evidence: I listen to myself. I make choices. I experience the feedback. I can handle what comes next.
Eventually, though, you have to stop analyzing. You can journal, pray, ask another friend, read another article, and ask AI another question, sure. But at some point, you have to live. Choose.
Give yourself permission to experience what follows, and stay with yourself afterward.
Inner intelligence in the age of artificial intelligence
I think this skill is becoming even more important as AI expands. We now have tools that can offer more information, perspectives, and recommendations than any one human could process alone. That's extraordinary.
But there is a difference between using technology to support our discernment and asking it to replace our discernment. As our external intelligence becomes more powerful, I believe developing our inner intelligence matters even more.
No tool gets to live your life for you, you do.
Self-trust isn't certainty
The woman who trusts herself isn't someone who never experiences anxiety. She doesn't know exactly what to do at every fork in the road or make perfect decisions.
She listens to other people's perspectives without automatically surrendering her own. She allows God to guide her while taking responsibility for her choices. She can disappoint someone without automatically deciding she's wrong. She can make a choice, learn from it, and choose again.
Most importantly, she loves herself through the outcome, and I think that's where this conversation becomes about even more than decision-making.
The growth realization is that, when I trust myself, I don't need to make you wrong in order for me to be right. I can honor your sovereignty while standing firmly in my own.
Maybe deeper self-trust doesn't separate us but rather gives us enough internal safety to meet each other with more freedom, compassion, and love.
So the next time you find yourself desperately asking, “Is this my intuition or my anxiety?” get quiet and listen to what each part of you is trying to communicate.
Clear the noise, notice what remains, and remember that you may never receive the certainty you're looking for.
The key is to make a choice regardless because self-trust isn't knowing you'll always make the right choice. It's knowing you won't abandon yourself in whatever comes next.
If you’re ready to deepen your self-trust, better understand your inner dialogue, and clear the noise that makes it difficult to hear yourself, explore my work here and book a call to see if working together feels like the right fit.
Read more from Catherine (Katie) Ruffino
Catherine (Katie) Ruffino, NLP Master Practitioner
Katie Ruffino, PA-C, NLP Master Practitioner, and founder of Pure Pathways Collective, is a recognized voice in functional and regenerative medicine. She helps leaders and entrepreneurs achieve holistic transformation through detoxification, nervous system regulation, and subconscious rewiring. Her work emphasizes emotional release and deep reconnection to the self, creating space for clarity, vitality, and freedom. Drawing from her medical background and her passion for creativity, Katie also created the Katie in the Kitchen series, where she shares stories, interviews, and lessons on authentic living. Her mission is to help others enhance their human experience, living in alignment with their truth.
