Inner Freedom Tames the Mind
Written by Simon Lau, Master at Simon Lau Centre
I am the founder of The Simon Lau Centre. I was born in China and, from a young age, educated by Buddhist monks. This instilled in me the belief that the minds that coordinate the activities of violence can coordinate the activities of cooperation. Everyone has an equal right to eliminate suffering and seek happiness.
Most people spend 80-90% of their waking thoughts stuck in loops, repetitive, unproductive, and draining. This compulsive thinking isn't just unhelpful, it’s addictive. And like any addiction, it quietly siphons away vital energy. True peace isn’t inherited or taught, it’s discovered. To experience real stillness, the mind must be set free. Only then can it settle into clarity and become a channel for peace rather than a source of noise.
How the mind becomes trapped
To free the mind, we must first understand how it got trapped. A mind in flow aligns thoughts in one direction, but when past emotional imprints hijack this flow, we’re forced into repetitive reactions. Patterns of anxiety, depression, addiction, and compulsion are not just emotional disturbances, they’re echoes of unresolved memories.
These stored memories act like pre-set video loops, replaying the same message again and again. When we notice fixed, reactive behaviours, it's often because the emotional message has already been recorded deep within. The instinct to “fix” it, through manipulation, control, or denial, is understandable. But these efforts occur after the fact. They soothe symptoms, not sources.
Shifting the approach
Most attempts to tame the mind only reinforce the trap. We react to unpleasant thoughts with judgment, resistance, or suppression. But if we step back and observe, we’ll see that freedom doesn’t come from forcing peace, it comes from unlearning the compulsions that disrupt it.
Manipulation and control
Manipulation operates on the belief, “I must deceive others to get what I want.”
Control is the great mask of insecurity. Those who rely on it fear letting others simply be themselves. Beneath the surface lies a desperate hope, “If they keep paying attention to me, they won’t walk away.”
Control unmasked
Control is the attempt to bend events and people to fit one’s personal narrative. It thrives on demands and creates imbalance.
When you find yourself constantly blaming others, making excuses, or feeling chronically unappreciated, these are signals, not of their failure, but of your own need to control.
Control begins to dissolve the moment you admit your way isn’t the only way. Watch for inner patterns of complaining, blaming, and insistence on being right. Behind these is a subtle fear of exposure.
When control fades, others begin to breathe. They relax, laugh, and feel safe to be themselves, no longer seeking your approval, just living.
Denial’s blindfold
Denial looks past problems rather than facing them. The person in denial often feels powerless and deeply insecure.
It whispers, “If I can’t change it, why even see it?” and manifests through forgetfulness, avoidance, wishful thinking, and confusion.
A telling sign, when others stop turning to you for real solutions, denial may be at play.
Denial defends through blindness. How can you be held accountable for what you refuse to see?
Healing begins by naming what hurts. Even the emotions that make you feel unsafe are worth confronting. Denial ends where focus begins, and courage returns despite fear.
The illusion of power
Each behavior, manipulation, control, and denial attempts to prove the impossible:
Behavior | Impossible Belief |
Manipulation | Everyone can be made to do what I want. |
Control | No one can reject me unless I allow it. |
Denial | Bad things vanish if I don’t look at them. |
But life speaks differently. People leave without warning. Circumstances unfold unexpectedly. Trouble arises, whether or not you look it in the eye.
The path of the spiritual seeker
As seekers, we commit to cultivating clear seeing, clear hearing, clear thinking, and clear perception. In this clarity arises wisdom, and in wisdom, the spaciousness needed for respectful, appreciative, and authentic relationships.
All of us carry regrets. We’ve done wrong. We’ve withheld, ignored, or acted hastily. But sustained self-blame only feeds punishment.
Instead of dwelling in sorrow or spiraling in worry, remember that if there is a solution, there’s no need to worry, and if there isn’t, worrying changes nothing. Let fear and anxiety serve as signals, not obstacles.
Paying attention to life
Step back from your life situation, your circumstances, and stories. Instead, pay attention to your life itself.
Situations can be problematic, but life, at its core, is already complete.
When you fully accept the present and reconnect with your natural, unconditioned consciousness, suffering finds meaning.
Suffering isn’t just hardship, it can be spiritual purification. It tests, reveals, and occasionally transforms us.
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Read more from Simon Lau
Simon Lau, Master at Simon Lau Centre
I trained in martial arts and qigong. The discipline training became an invaluable tool to teach me how I could overcome my fear of violence and allow myself to perform in everyday life in a more spontaneous and constructive way. In keeping with the Warrior tradition, I have focused my life as much on being a healer as being a martial artist. I am a sincere practitioner of qigong, Chinese herbal medicine, and Chinese astrology, believing that physical, emotional, and spiritual health are essential for self-development and inner awareness. Everyone has the potential to improve and change because each new day represents a new life. Every hour of our time is a gift.
