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Influencing In Negotiation – Build Trust And Leverage With The SCARF Model

Roar is a facilitator, advisor, and mediator, and he founded Waegger Negotiation Institute (WNI) in 2017. Up to 2017, Roar has been working as a lawyer with employment and labor law, and he has extensive experience in practical negotiations and long-time influence work.

 
Executive Contributor  Roar Thun Waegger

Negotiation isn’t just about numbers; it’s about people. By understanding the social dynamics that drive behavior, you can build trust, reduce resistance, and foster collaboration. Discover how the SCARF model can transform your negotiation strategy into a powerful tool for creating lasting, productive partnerships.


Two businessmen shaking hands closing the deal and a large window behind them

A strategic approach to negotiation

Negotiations can be challenging, requiring a blend of data, strategy, and emotional intelligence. The SCARF model, developed by neuroscientist David Rock in 2008, offers a framework to navigate the social dynamics that shape negotiations. By addressing five key social drivers: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness, you can reduce resistance, foster trust, and increase collaboration.


In this article, we follow Mia, a procurement representative at the fictional company TechWave, as she prepares for a negotiation with Jonathan, a tech supplier. Mia’s approach highlights how the SCARF model can guide strategic preparation, paving the way for productive partnerships and successful outcomes.


Status: Valuing expertise and building respect

Mia understands that status, the sense of being respected and valued, is central to any negotiation. Recognizing Jonathan’s expertise as a technical leader, she plans her opening carefully.


At the meeting’s outset, Mia compliments the innovative solutions Jonathan’s company has developed and emphasizes how they align with TechWave’s vision. This acknowledgment establishes mutual respect and sets a collaborative tone.


She also prepares thoughtful, targeted questions about Jonathan’s expertise, giving him an opportunity to showcase his knowledge. This validation encourages open communication and builds trust, laying a strong foundation for productive dialogue.


Certainty: Creating clarity and reducing stress

Uncertainty often creates anxiety in negotiations. To address this, Mia ensures clarity by sharing a draft agenda in advance. The agenda outlines key topics such as pricing, delivery terms, and customization options.


More importantly, Mia frames the negotiation as an opportunity to shift from a price-focused approach to one emphasizing value. By prioritizing long-term collaboration over short-term cost savings, she fosters transparency and provides Jonathan with a clear vision of the process and potential outcomes.


To build further certainty, Mia proposes a timeline for the next steps, emphasizing that a successful agreement could lead to a lasting partnership. These actions reduce stress and make Jonathan more receptive to the discussion.


Autonomy: Respecting independence and encouraging input

Autonomy, the feeling of having control over decisions, is a powerful motivator in negotiations. Mia avoids pressuring Jonathan by creating an environment that values his independence.


Instead of presenting rigid demands, she invites collaboration. Mia proposes flexible options for delivery schedules and payment structures, allowing Jonathan to choose what aligns with his company’s capabilities. This approach empowers him and signals that she respects his expertise.


Additionally, Mia encourages Jonathan to suggest alternative terms, creating a shared decision-making process. This collaborative approach strengthens Jonathan’s commitment to the agreement and increases the likelihood of mutual success.


Relatedness: Building connection and trust

Human connection transforms negotiations from transactional exchanges to meaningful collaborations. Mia prioritizes building rapport with Jonathan, ensuring the process feels relational rather than mechanical.


To establish common ground, she opens the meeting by sharing a positive story about a mutual industry contact. Later, she suggests a coffee break mid-meeting, creating an opportunity for informal conversation.


These moments of connection foster trust, which becomes invaluable when negotiations inevitably move into more challenging discussions. When tougher issues arise, the trust built earlier helps both parties stay engaged and work collaboratively toward the best solutions.


Fairness: Promoting transparency and equity

Fairness, or the perception of just and balanced outcomes, is a critical factor in negotiation success. Mia knows that any hint of unfairness could derail their progress.


She begins by explaining TechWave’s procurement criteria and its goal to move from a price-driven process to one that prioritizes value and long-term partnerships. By being transparent about her company’s intentions, she reassures Jonathan of her integrity and builds trust.


Mia also takes the time to understand Jonathan’s priorities, showing her willingness to adapt to ensure a balanced outcome. This mutual openness fosters respect and increases the likelihood of a deal that satisfies both parties.


Transforming negotiations with SCARF

Mia’s thoughtful preparation showcases how the SCARF model can transform negotiations into collaborative, trust-driven interactions. By addressing the five key areas, she creates an environment that reduces resistance and encourages cooperation.


For busy professionals, the SCARF model provides a practical framework to move beyond transactional discussions and focus on building lasting partnerships. Incorporating these principles into your negotiation strategy can help you navigate social dynamics, foster understanding, and achieve productive outcomes, whether with suppliers, clients, or colleagues.


With SCARF, influencing becomes not about winning at all costs but about creating conditions where everyone succeeds.


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Roar Thun Waegger, Facilitator, Advisor & Mediator

Roar is a facilitator, advisor, and mediator, and he founded Waegger Negotiation Institute (WNI) in 2017. Up to 2017 has Roar been working as a lawyer with employment and labor law, and he has extensive experience in practical negotiations and long-time influence work. With his experience and training from Harvard PON and Pepperdine’s Straus' Institute in negotiation, mediation, and conflict resolution he helps his clients solve their challenges.

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