In An Uncertain World, Stress Is Optional
Written by: Lea Gerlock, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise
So, what if I told you that stress is not your enemy? Would you believe me? Probably not. But the truth is that stress is not the culprit of our struggles, it’s not the monster that’s lurking in the shadows, it’s not the beast that gives us grey hair and yet another wrinkle. It’s actually our reaction to stress that does all of that. What, you ask? Crazy, right?
As a life coach specializing in breaking the cycle of trauma and transitioning to a better reality, I often say this to clients. And the response is always the same. Disbelief, resistance, and sometimes, even a little bit of disdain and resentment.
Do you know why you’re inclined not to believe what I just said? Because once you believe that, you have to accept that you and you alone are in full and total control of the level of stress in your life. You get to choose your reaction. Therefore you’re in the driver’s seat.
So, how do we solve this problem? How do we control our reaction and make stress a tamed, whimpering wannabe-beast?
Let’s start with the basics. Life is full of transitions. Some are welcomed, while others, not so much. We put a ton of energy into resisting those transitions that we do not want, and it’s kind of like a caterpillar refusing to spin its cocoon. You can’t go against nature and expect things to go smoothly. Simply put, transitions in life are inevitable, and they’re the means by which we grow as humans. We don’t have to embrace each one and get excited about it, especially difficult transitions like divorce, the loss of a loved one, getting laid off from a job that provided all of our income, etc. But we do have to show up because life won’t stop for us. Think of it as a merry go round that never stops spinning.
Let’s talk about what happens when we’re feeling stressed. Suddenly, we lose our inspiration and motivation, and even worse, our connection to ourselves. We start to question our values, our purpose, and (if the road gets bumpy enough), why we’re even here. We may try to distract ourselves by juggling a bunch of tasks at once, simply because focusing on the problem at hand becomes exhausting and overwhelming. We tend not to sleep as well, we stop eating healthy foods and just drown our emotions in takeout, and we either stop exercising or distract ourselves by spending hours in the gym, so we don’t have to face our emotions.
"Remind yourself that you’re human, and humans are messy."
So, what can we do when life takes us down a road we’d rather have detoured?
The key is to lean into our emotions, and figure out what we’re really feeling, and just let ourselves feel that. Too often, we scold ourselves for the way we feel about things. But whatever your feelings may be, I assure you they are valid. And you need to remind yourself that. Often, just acknowledging the emotions you’re feeling, and realizing that it’s totally ok to feel the way you do goes a long way towards alleviating feeling stressed.
The way we perceive our emotions has a lot of influence on how we manage ourselves and others. So next time you’re feeling stressed, take a moment to ask yourself what you’re really feeling, and just let yourself feel that, to drown in that emotion. And remind yourself that you’re human, and humans are messy. You can’t control your life, but you can control the way you choose to do life.
Lea Gerlock, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lea Gerlock is the founder and CEO of Personal Chapter, a life coaching and personal development empire focused on breaking the cycle of trauma and toxic habits, in order to step into one’s highest potential. When Lea’s not working, she enjoys the beach, mini golfing, and spending time with her three amazing sons. As a recovering alcoholic who has now been successfully sober for years, Lea was able to overcome her struggle once she realized that her addictive habits could be traced back to a traumatic cycle that began in her childhood. Having overcome her own issues, Lea quickly learned that so many people struggle with issues that go back to their childhood days. Her superpower is helping people transition into the next and very best chapter of their lives.