How to Stop Caring What Others Think and Finally Reclaim Your Self-Worth
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 2
- 7 min read
Written by Ranya AlHusaini, Mindset Transformation Guru
Ranya Alhusaini is a mindset transformation guru. Besides, she is a Hypnotherapist, Rapid Transformation Therapy Practitioner, and NLP. Ranya dug her way through self-discovery, curiosity, and knowledge.
At six, Hannah wore a clown face and danced in front of the mirror. Hannah was lost in joy when her mother’s words cut through the air, “What will people think of you if they find out?” The echo of these judgmental words rippled into her memory, seeding shame and planting the fear of how others would perceive her. From then on, Hannah started realizing how she formed meaning for every move she made, turning each act into a perfect performance, always anticipating the right approval from people.
This story is not only Hannah’s. It is the silent story of leaders, professionals, and everyday dreamers who were once told, “Don’t stand out. Don’t embarrass yourself.” Words that later became invisible chains around choices, careers, and confidence.
In today’s article, we dig deeper into the question you accidentally repeat in silence. How well will I sit in people’s eyes? Will they like me? Will they not? Why do I even bother anticipating people’s attention, admiration, and validation?
The mirror we all fear
For many of us, passing by a mirror isn’t about vanity, but about curiosity. It’s a quiet ritual of self-check, “How am I really doing today?” In return, your reflection can turn this question into a deeper conversation led by your inner voice.
In reality, all the echoes of yesterday linger in memory. Yesterday’s stories return, but this time, they bring along agony, fear, distress, rejection, and a baggage of unwanted comments, criticism, and the echoes of, “What will they think? Am I enough? Do I belong?”
Suddenly, today’s glance is no longer about now. It becomes entangled with the doubts of the past, “Do I look confident enough? Do I look tired? Am I brave enough to show up as I really am, without masks, without filters, without the need to impress?”
This silent interrogation follows us beyond the mirror. It shows up in boardrooms, negotiations, classrooms, relationships, and leadership decisions. It shapes careers and silences dreams before they’re even spoken. Because often, the beliefs you hold about yourself are not the truth, but the first critical remark you once received.
The moment you stop caring about what others think is the exact moment you begin to free yourself from the obligation of society’s unfathomable standards.
The question leaders secretly avoid
When recurring thoughts hit at night, you are left questioning your mind’s reasoning. These instances act as sharp-hitting nudges, reminding you why you should be ashamed and how much you should feel guilty. Awkwardly, your subconscious mind is wildly playing into the chords of your memory’s reserve, justifying reasons to strengthen your self-belief. Another question from a suppressed situation leads you to recall why you should believe in and doubt your own worth, “Am I truly enough as I am?”
Nonetheless, you will find yourself playing out massive roles in hiding, stepping into an empty feeling of not being enough, leading you to adapt certain habits and roles, such as:
Overworking: You are holding onto the following belief. (“If I achieve more, maybe I will feel enough.”)
People-pleasing behavioral patterns: You are holding onto a belief. (“If they like me, maybe I’ll be enough.”)
Perfectionism: You are holding onto the belief. (“If I make no mistakes, maybe I’ll be enough.”)
Your self-worth is an innate feeling, celebrated without validation. You don’t have to justify your stance, nor your difference, all you need is to hold your authentic reflection on what motivates you.
The reason behind caring too much
Repeating reasons inside your mind sounds like narrating another track from yesterday, a compilation of voices, memories, and stories you have believed in. Your belief gave life to every memorable reserve inside your subconscious mind. You believed what had been told to you because they were narrated by your guardians, loved ones, or even your kinship. These reasons are intertwined vaguely into every line of communication, prioritizing how severely rejection can taste. Within every rejection, silence can sound awkwardly disturbing, introducing you into unwanted scenarios.
Along every silent moment, you start feeling the pull toward associating more with your community, no matter how much you have to pay for it. This is a psychological yearning for safe living. Within your thought, seeking your community's likability is safe because unity is power. But what if you have been accommodating more than usual, maybe even beyond your safe boundaries, core values, and peace of mind?
With every association comes another standard of matching, aligning, and following society’s trends. You will realize how people’s judgment, expectations, and standards can place you inside cages of illusions. Within every cage, a certain categorization tells you precisely what you should be, look like, or do. Living within the walls of these strict templates can internalize shame, guilt, and blame to meet the general expectations.
The hidden cost of caring too much
Living in a judgmental space, where how people will perceive you is number one on your priority list, accumulating such feelings can drain and shift your energy adversely in silent but costly manners, such as:
Perfectionism: You are constantly overworking, overdelivering, and overreaching just to maintain a minimum standard of likability and acceptability.
Imposter Syndrome: You think success can only be acclaimed, celebrated, and felt if it’s built on others’ validation. It can also mean accommodating many things on one plate, pretending this is what feels enough.
Burnout: You sabotage your original identity and mold yourself to fit everyone else, depleting your originality, authenticity, and energy to be accepted. Losing your essence to external approval can encourage resentment, exhaustion, and energy depletion.
Embracing the messy truth
We are not perfect, and we were never meant to be. The truth is, your journey is stitched with hiccups, trials, awkward lessons, and unwanted moments you’d wish to hide more than reveal.
We are beautifully messy. This is not about being disorganized, but about admitting that life itself is messy. Behind every perfection is a truthful story of being raw, blatant, and normal. Denying this part of the story can suppress your humane side.
Fear is only a feeling, a mere shadow cast by a belief about how we should appear perfect to be worthy. The truth is, rejection was not about you, nor your ability or the value you bring to the table. It is the reflection of the other party’s projection to satisfy their ego, story, reason, or discomfort.
Remember. Shove away people’s opinions, judgment, or even criticism (if they are not constructive to your growth).
Embracing your messy version is where your authentic presence is born, simply because everyone is moved by the humane side of you.
Mindset transformation tools to reframe the fear of judgment
Fear of judgment is not just an emotion, it’s a belief. A belief wired into an old memory dressed in cultural expectation. Fear is a feeling built on an imagined belief (mostly). And every belief can be re-examined, rewritten, and reframed. When you step into the mindset of alignment instead of approval, fear becomes feedback, not a prison.
Below are five practical tools that can guide you in rewriting your old beliefs:
1. Name the inner voice, don’t own it
When self-critical thoughts appear (“They’ll think I’m not good enough”), pause and label them as a voice from the past, not a truth of the present.
Reframe. Instead of “I am not enough,” say, “This is an old story, not my reality.” By creating distance, you reclaim control and power over your own illusions.
2. The 90-second rule for fear
Neuroscience shows that when fear arises, the physical surge of chemicals in the body lasts about 90 seconds unless you repeatedly overexaggerate what and how you feed your thoughts.
Next time fear rises, breathe deeply and count 90 seconds before reacting.
Reaffirm reality, listing all proofs of your achievements to defend your stance.
Your mind will learn through repetition, and what you repeat, you can adapt. Smart adaptation can overcome fear.
3. Rehearse self-worth, not perfection
Mostly, high achievers rehearse the outcomes of presentations, negotiations, pitches, and results. Instead, practice valuing your own being, uniqueness, and general wellbeing. The following, if repeated to your mind, can anchor self-worth without anticipating others’ validation:
“I belong here because I add value.”
“My voice carries value.”
“Perfection is not the destination, presence is my direction.”
“I am worthy just as I am.”
“I don’t need to seek anyone’s approval to feel worthy, I need to feel my worthiness before anyone else.”
4. The power of “so what?”
Every time you catch yourself asking internally, “What will people think of me?”, affirm with “So what?” This exercise can reframe the fear of judgment into a powerful place to own your purpose. Run this internal dialogue as a reasoning technique to your fear, this can reason smartly with your inner voice:
Repeat to your mind: “If they judge me, so what?”
Dive deeper: “What’s the worst that could happen? And could I survive it?”
5. Future-pacing authenticity
Visualization is a powerful technique when manifesting a state of being, mindset, or peace. In this scenario, visualize yourself six months from now:
Imagine yourself standing in a room, speaking your truth without a mask.
You see, feel, and associate with your freedom and respect elegantly because that’s the way you are.
Now ask your future self, “What did I let go of to become this version of me?”
Let the answer guide your next step.
A call to the heart
If “What will people think of you?” has been your cage, let this moment be your turning point. You don’t need the world’s validation to feel at home within yourself. What you need, what you’ve always had, is the courage to stand in your authentic presence, grounded in your core values, your freedom of choice, and your humanity.
If this resonated, check the free Mirror Breaker Journal, a guide to untangle shame, guilt, and blame to reclaim your worth. Access it here.
This is your sanctuary to reclaim freedom, presence, and authenticity.
Ranya AlHusaini, Mindset Transformation Guru
This is Ranya AlHusaini, a mindset transformation guru. My mission is to motivate professional women to unlock their self-worth and live a balanced life. With so much curiosity and self-awareness, I have developed my way with strength and determination. My expertise was well maintained as I took years to understand and develop my own through different modalities, and from there, I understood human nature and reaction. The modalities I use and consult throughout the session are NLP, Rapid Transformation Therapy technique, and Hypnosis. So, if you want a switch or a makeover in your life, hop in for a mindset transformation session! I have attached a photo of myself as well!
