Written by: Denisse Espalter, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How many times do you find yourself feeling stressed, going in circles, not making the time for yourself? Working hard to reach that goal at the top of your company ladder? Being the one that always volunteers at your children’s school and trying to run your own business? I believe I heard a big yes!
However, how do we get out of these circles that cause stress? When you stop and know, our mindset gets us in trouble, and we have to learn to come to terms with how to pivot that mindset and create a habit of paying attention to our emotions. Our obsession as a culture to have it all at the expense of our most valued possession—our health is not something we need to compromise.
Self-care is not all about taking a relaxing bath or going for a walk. It comes down to learning to step back and pay attention to our inner voice and what we are craving for ourselves. I know that making yourself the priority of your life sounds selfish to many, and maybe selfish isn’t a bad thing. You cannot expect anyone else to make you the priority of their lives, right? Wouldn’t that be even more selfish? Maybe by being selfish and taking care of ourselves, we stop expecting other people to bring us what we need. This usually leads to disappointment because no one can read our minds.
Our ability to show up with presence, a positive attitude, and full of energy with your friends, family, and those you love, is determined by how well you manage your health.
Here are a few key items that can make a difference in how you create that new mindset shift that will allow you that better path where you listen to your emotions:
Pay Attention to What Matters – YOU: Start by paying attention to yourself and your emotional needs. You start by actively listening to yourself and restating your thoughts gently, out loud to yourself.
Let Go of The Guilt: Allow yourself and permit yourself to make yourself a priority! Doing this does not mean you are a bad spouse, mother, friend - it is allowing a better version of yourself to come to a rise. It is ok to say NO when you need to and not always feel the need the please everyone around you.
Don’t Say I Don’t Have Enough Time for Myself: One of our common arguments against self-care is not having the time. But the reality is you don’t have time not to. The World Health Organization estimates that stress costs businesses $300 billion a year. More than half of the population reported not being able to concentrate due to stress and sleep deprivation. Make the time! It’s more about the quality of the time spent rather than about trying to set aside an hour in your schedule.
Consistency is Key: Get in the habit that this is on your schedule for yourself. In turn, this starts to become a habit that you implement, and it becomes a perpetual habit that you’re able to carry out regularly rather than just here and there.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: When it comes down to it, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to stop comparing yourself to others! This is one of the biggest self-care gifts you can give yourself. When you’re always comparing yourself to other people and feeling like you don’t stack up, you’re really discounting your own uniqueness and taking away any chance of being happy with who you are.
Bottom Line: Believe that self-care means treating yourself with compassion, prioritizing yourself in your own life, and creating boundaries.
Let’s start looking at self-care by filling ourselves up first!
Denisse Espalter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Denisse Espalter is recognized as a top Life & Style Coach and a sought-after Communications Expert. After multiple life-changing experiences, learning how to pivot her mindset, and not let fear hold her back, she created Unboxed Life and Style, a lifestyle brand. She developed a company that not only has amazing self-care & entrepreneur boxes, she also coaches, educates, and inspires women on how to take their life experiences and learn how to evolve with them as their life and style change. She offers courses on how to clean out the layers in your closet to become the better version of yourself, and shifting your mindset. Encourages women with Love the Skin You're In program. She teaches how to develop a self-care routine and how to prioritize yourself, as well as a Leveling Up Entrepreneur course where you gain clarity, confidence, and build strategies to grow your mindset.
Her Book Everyday Woman's Guide to Doing What You Love will be released in June 2021.
Her mission: Is to be a resource and teach women to stop doubting themselves. "The more clear you are on what you have - the more confident you will be!"