How To Establish A Good Bedtime Routine For Small Children
Updated: May 13, 2024
Written by: Nadia Edwards, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Establishing a good bedtime routine can be tricky for families with children of all ages. If you start introducing a loving ritual early in life, your children may be more likely to stick to it later in life. Establishing a routine that keeps your household running smoothly can be a challenge at first, the key is to keep it personal to your family and unique values, once established many parents report enjoyable evenings with strengthened bonds.
Establish a consistent bedtime routine
We all need sleep in order to function well. An important part of your nighttime routine is establishing a consistent bedtime. Enough sleep is vital for your success and the success of your children. Set yourself up to experience life's victories by planning for enough rest.
Seek to start your kid's bedtime routine at the same time every day. For instance, if your bedtime routine takes approximately 30 minutes and you would like your kids in bed by 9 o'clock, you'll want to start your bedtime routine around 8:30 PM. In addition, having a regular wake time each morning and in proportion to bedtime is fundamental.
Tip: There is a wide variation in sleep needs, it is crucial that you find your own and your child(s) individual sleep needs and not get caught up in how much sleep they/you ‘should’ be getting. Logically, if you are trying to sleep more than you biologically need, you will find it difficult to fall and stay asleep. In saying this, the chart below gives a good starting point to explore your families overall sleep needs and agreed bedtime and wake times.
Set up a sequence of activities
Set up a sequence of activities you do right before bedtime each night. That way, your kids know what to expect and when it is time to transition to bed.
Connection saying goodnight can be hard for most kids, especially if they have been away from you that day, boost connection by carving out some regular one-on-one special time – at any time of the day, but as part of the regular nighttime routine can be a game-changer.
Agree on the time e.g., 10 minutes
Set a timer
Make sure of no adult distractions so you can give 100% attention
Allow your child to pick and lead the play
Chores encourage everyone, even the youngest ones to get involved in the evening chores, clearing the table, filling up the dishwasher, or taking out the rubbish. This means it is not solely left to parents and caregivers which is a big frustration in many homes.
Silly Play is different from special time play. This is specifically to get the belly laughter going, horsey on parent's back, blowing raspberries on tummies, trampolining, roughhousing, bike rides, pillow fights, etc. A fun reward after chores are done.
“Your primary aim with the bedtime routine is to bring your child down from a super alert awake state by activating the calming brain chemical oxytocin and the sleep hormone Melatonin.” (Sunderland 2008)
Bedtime routine essentials:
Calm Parent
3-5 relaxing steps
Ideally lasts between 2 and 30 minutes long
Possible bedtime routine steps:
May contain a bath/shower
Washing face & hands
Potty / toilet / diaper change
Brushing teeth or wiping gums
Pajamas
Soothing music or white noise
Prayers, affirmations, or a gratitude list
Soothing dance
Rocking
Chat about your day or what you are doing tomorrow
Simple yoga/body stretching
Deep breathing
Muscle relaxation
Massage / positive touch
Read to your child right before bedtime
Choose a shorter book if your kids are younger. Your children will soon look forward to storytime and recognize this as a signal that the day is ending.
Say goodnight in your own special way
Your children will remember the evening routine for a lifetime. In addition to providing structure and a way to lower the stress level in your home, your evening routine will show your kids that you love and appreciate them.
My special way to say goodnight
“Here is my necklace, I have worn it all day. All my love is in it and will be with you all night,” and I give my Daughter my necklace, I do the same with my son and my watch.
Multiple bedtime routines for multiple children
If you have multiple children of different ages, it is still important to establish a routine. While your children will be going to bed at different times, you can still use those times to bond with each other and wind down for the evening. Plan your routine to accommodate multiple bedtimes if necessary.
Older children can also help
The important thing is that everything gets done orderly and that your family takes time to be together and enjoy each other.
Bless your family by establishing a bedtime routine for your children
Stick to it in the beginning, and you'll soon notice that the routine is second nature. Automatically, you'll be bonding every night and getting everything done with a minimum amount of stress. Begin experiencing the order and peace that you deserve by starting a nighttime routine today.
Nadia Edwards, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Nadia Edwards is a registered Early Years Practitioner and expert Sleep Coach for children (birth to 12 years of age). Nadia guides parents who are struggling with unsustainable sleep challenges, her approach is holistic, creative and nurturing so everyone can get the sleep they deserve and feel joyful.
