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How To Empower Yourself To Become The Role Model You Never Had – In 4 Simple Steps

Written by: Christelle Soto-Suarez, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


In my previous article, I wrote about how to empower yourself despite the lack of role models. Now, let's imagine you've gone for this "something" you wanted, and you've achieved it (or on your way to achieving it)…

And you’d like to see others “like you” going for this “something” too…

But you remember the challenges you faced and how you felt when you decided to go for this “something”, and how much the lack of role models affected you…

So you’re thinking:

Maybe I should become one of those role models I so much missed, to show that this “something” is also available to “people like me”?

And I bet the next thoughts coming up relate to imposter syndrome, self-confidence, self-esteem, anxiety… basically telling yourself:

Me, a role model? No way! I’m not good enough to be a role model!

But you are… we all are… in our own way…

So, where to start to find the courage to take some actions toward becoming a role model?

Start with Your Vision

What’s your vision of a role model? What does that role model do and look like? What actions is this role model taking?

Think about the role models you’re looking up to at the moment. And also think about the role models you would have liked to have when growing up and when you were at the beginning of your journey to achieve this “something”…

  • Out of these actions, which ones would you like to be able to do?

  • What’s your WHY for wanting to do these actions in particular?

  • What do you VALUE in these actions?

  • What could you GAIN or LEARN from these actions?

Then look at which actions are available to you

There are numerous actions you can take to become a role model.

Not all will be available to you because of where you are, your availability, your skills, your circumstances, etc.

Not all will be suited to your personality, your long-term life vision, your strengths, your interests, your values, etc.

And you’ll probably have to try a few times before finding one that really works for you… and the first times you try, you may not see any reactions… It’s all part of the learning process, of experimenting and exploring, of looking at what others are doing, getting inspired by their actions, and adapting these actions to you…

But remember: you don’t have to start with a BIG action… One small step at a time, followed by another small one, then maybe another a little bit bigger… will take you somewhere… if you persist!

Here are some suggestions of actions available to you:

  • Be visible and “show off” your own self-leadership throughout the day, at work and outside of work, doing mundane or challenging tasks… being the person you want to be in that environment, respecting others, speaking up…

  • Promote others: publicly celebrate their accomplishments, highlight their ideas, allow them to express themselves, give them opportunities…

  • Mentor: from a formal set-up at work or through an external program, to a very informal set-up, such as chats over coffee between 2 people with similar interests but different levels of experiences.

  • Participate in professional associations / networking organizations: there are plenty around, of all sizes and geographical reach, and they're often looking for active members!

  • Speak: this doesn’t have to be in front of hundreds of people… you can start with a handful of people you know well, speaking about a topic you also know very well…

  • Write: whether it’s about your own experience or a technical topic you’re familiar with, whether self-published (such as LinkedIn) or in your company's newsletter or a professional journal…

  • Sponsor: being the advocate of someone you believe has great potential, mentioning their name, opening doors…

  • And think about what else you’d have liked to see a role model do… Can you do something about this too?

And get ready to take your first steps

Now, look at the list of actions you came up with.

Which ones do you like the most, interest you the most, are feasible based on your own circumstances and are the easiest to work on?

Take a moment to remember Your Vision – go back to the “Start with Your Vision” paragraph above if needed, and reflect on these questions:

  • What are you ready to do, or not?

  • What are you prepared to lose, to say “no” to?

  • Are you willing to be uncomfortable?

If you’re clear on the answers, and you’re willing to be uncomfortable, then you’re ready to take your first step!

And now:

  • Pick one action

  • Who do you see doing this action, either within your circle or outside? Get some insight from them!

  • Who could support you along the way? Create your very own Board of Directors for this project!

  • What potential obstacles could you face, and how could you deal with them? – But keep it simple!

  • What’s “one thing” you could do about this action, right now? – And this “one thing” may simply be some research…

  • How are you going to commit to doing this “one thing”?

  • How are you going to celebrate doing this “one thing” - taking that very first step toward becoming a role model?

  • Take that very first step! How does it feel to have had the courage to be uncomfortable?

  • Celebrate – don’t wait to know the result!

  • What’s another “one thing” you can do next?

Just keep going!

Now that you’ve done the hardest part (starting the process), just keep going…

Know that there will be ups and downs – but it’s in the “downs’ cycle that you’ll learn the most…

Know that others in your circle may not notice what you’re doing at first - but if Your Vision means so much to you, does it matter?

And my final question to YOU: Are you ready to do something to become the role model you wished you had when you started this journey?

Final words

Interested in knowing more about my 5-step process to “Empowering Yourself to Create the Life and Career You Want”? Book a free 45-minute Empower Yourself Discovery Call!

Simply curious? Then check out Pistachio-Cassis Coaching website!

Subscribe to my Pistachio-Cassis Newsletter for monthly insights on Empowering Yourself to Create the Life and Career You Want.

Follow me on LinkedIn for inspiration, motivation, and education about how to empower yourself. And please, reach out to me via LinkedIn or email to let me know you’ve read my article. I’d love to hear from you if you have any feedback, suggestions, or anything else you want to tell me!


Christelle Soto-Suarez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Christelle Soto-Suarez is a Personal Leadership & Development Coach who empowers Women in STEM / Construction to create the Life and Career they want, and is the founder of Pistachio-Cassis Coaching. She’s a certified professional coach and a member of the International Coaching Federation.

However, coaching is her 2nd career. Previously, she spent 25 years as a construction professional, working on a wide range of construction and engineering projects and in different roles. She worked and lived in several countries, experienced working in multicultural teams, and speaks 3 languages.

But however fulfilling and challenging these experiences were, the time came when she realized that she actually felt unhappy, unfulfilled, unsatisfied with where she was in her life.

Through her own exploration journey to discover how to create the life and career she wanted for herself, Christelle realized she was actually following a life coaching process. That fascinated her so much that she trained as a professional life coach and she set up her own coaching practice to empower others to also create the life and career they want.

Outside of coaching, Christelle loves expanding her horizons through reading, conversing with people with different backgrounds and experiences, and relaxing in nature.



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