How To Disable Autopilot And Clarify What Really Matters
- Oct 14, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Feb 6, 2022
Written by: Tim Nash, Executive Contributor
Executive Contr ibutors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“It’s more like starting a fire than opening a door.”
This is how I was introduced to the incendiary nature of Gestalt.
Before attending my first Gestalt workshop, I knew it was a kind of therapy but not much beyond that.
I also knew that a fire was much more dangerous a door.
What I did not know was the affect the fire would have on me…
As I learned from our fearless workshop leader Paul Barber:
"Gestalt neither accepts nor rejects anything; it widens our awareness and raises our consciousness so we might become everything we are."
This got me thinking…
If I can’t reject parts of myself that I dislike, do I have to accept them?
A radical idea.
And so it is with Gestalt. Whatever answer you come up with, you base it on your own experience – whatever the truth looks and feels like to you.
One key principle I learned early on is that THE BODY NEVER LIES.
But what do the experts say? What would my coach say?
It does not matter.
What does your experience tell you? What does your gut say?
This is personal responsibility on a whole new level – whether in a therapy or coaching session.
Yes, eventually the ideas and principles of Gestalt transcended the world of therapy and entered the world of learning and development. My world.
In fact, in 2016 I became a 'Gestalt Practitioner in Organizations' - even though I wasn't looking for a new job title.
After coming in, to contact with Gestalt theory and practice at that first workshop, I began a quest that led me to the accreditation.
A fire had been started inside of me.
Incidentally, one BIG CONCLUSION I’ve made after 20 years of helping people change and develop is that experience is the best teacher.
But do listen to the thoughts and opinions of people you like and trust.
However, their experience will look different from yours. Their truth might be different, too.
Sources of inspiration are many. The one source of truth is your own.
WARNING: If there is a part of yourself that you are hiding from, it will not stay hidden for long.
Not if you embrace these ideas.
Case Study
Jane often butts heads with her boss and other authority figures. Conflict has always been a big part of her work reality.
This is an unhealthy pattern that keeps repeating itself – one that is preventing her from functioning as her Best Self. It has even cost her a job promotion or two.
To illuminate and break this pattern, a Gestalt intervention might facilitate a direct and open dialogue between Jane and a problematic authority figure – either her current boss or even the first authority figure when the pattern began.
One BIG WAY that Gestalt differs from other forms of therapy is that it looks into the past only if there is a relevant connection to the present.
Rather than just talking about what she would say, she would tell the person directly what she thought and felt. Her unfiltered words.
Outcomes
Through this authentic and intense exchange, she would deepen her awareness around this relationship. More importantly, this pattern she has with authority figures in her life.
The cathartic release that comes from expressing her true unfiltered feelings in her real words could break this pattern.
No matter if the issue is conflict, job dissatisfaction or something else that prevents you from feeling and performing at your best, here are two ways Gestalt facilitates change:
1. It clarifies what you need. By raising your awareness to what you need in the present moment, Gestalt cuts straight to the essence of what matters most. At least to you.
If you are unhappy in your job but you keep trying to push your feelings away, a Gestalt intervention could bring them to the surface and help clarify what you need to do to change your situation.
2. It moves you into action.
The clarity from raised awareness moves you into action and makes your actions deliberate. "Awakening" under a tree can be enlightening, but it might not move you to act. A Gestalt intervention moves you into action. Action facilitates change.
If you become aware that you are suffering from a deadly, but curable, disease, I am sure you would take swift and deliberate action to eradicate it.
Living life deliberately is the opposite of living life on autopilot.
It "focuses upon the wisdom inherent in direct experience", writes Paul in Gestalt Therapy Reappraised.
As a result, Gestalt is much MORE PRACTICE THAN THEORY.
In defense of direct experience over theoretical knowledge – wouldn’t you rather learn a language from someone who can speak the language? Or the pitfalls of parenting from a parent?
Conclusion
As a practitioner new to the field, I have much to learn about how Gestalt can support me in my work – and the people I work with!
However, I like to think that everything I do in my development work is informed by the empowering ideas and principles I have learned thus far.
Here are 6 Gestalt principles and how specifically they empower you (scroll down the webpage to black button – see screenshot).
I take great comfort in knowing that any wisdom I acquire along the way will come from direct experience. I do not need a professional title for that.
One of the more radical ideas I have gleaned from my learnings and from my own experience is that PEOPLE CHANGE IF AND WHEN THEY ARE READY. Not their boss. Not their partner. Them.
On stage at a Coaching Congress a few years ago, I explain here how I have come to this conclusion.
Have the chaos and uncertainty of the last year two years left you spinning?
You are not even sure what you want right now. But you know you are ready for a change.
You have thought about going for a new job role in your company…you have also thought about transitioning away from your company.
Before you can make this change, you first must be clear on what you want.
Only then can you focus on the key goals and priorities and create the action plan that will lead you there.
That is why I created KICKSTARTER – a 3-session 1-to-1 coaching program with a LASER FOCUS to help senior professionals like you kickstart your next move - new job role, career pivot, or something not yet clear.
If you are ready for a kickstart, let me help you clarify what is most important to you and create the plan to go after it!
Learn more about how you can apply for this limited-time offer.
Regardless of where you are with your conflict management skills or job satisfaction, one MUST-HAVE skill for every single professional in the post-2020 world is virtual presence.
Click here for FREE GUIDE: 5 SECRETS FOR VIRTUAL PRESENCE.
In addition to the GUIDE, you will get regular tips & strategies as a member of my tribe!
Thanks for reading,
Tim
For regular tips and closer interaction, connect with me on LinkedIn and Facebook. Reach out and let me know you’ve read this article.
Tim Nash, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tim Nash is on a mission to help senior professionals escape their energy-zapping maze, focus on what matters and pave the way for success. Via the empowering principles of Gestalt, he guides his clients below the surface to overcome what is preventing them from performing at their best.
For over two decades, Tim has helped young professionals to C-level executives lead and collaborate across cultures. He is also the founder of The Path To Peak Performance which includes his dynamic coaching practice and American Transplant web series.
