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How To Deal With Loneliness – It's Your Asset, My Friend

Written by: Vedant Kulkarni, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

Executive Contributor Vedant Kulkarni

Loneliness can indeed have serious consequences for our mental and physical health, such as increased anxiety, heart disease, and even premature death. But does loneliness always need to have a bad ending or can it also be a source of personal growth and transformation?

Woman sitting on dock next to a body of water

In the next 3-5 min, we will explore the fascinating realm of loneliness, and I'll prove to you how feeling lonely is actually an asset and not a trouble. Have you ever felt lonely? If you answered yes, you are not alone. Loneliness is a common and universal human experience that affects millions of people around the world. According to a recent survey, more than 60% of Americans reported feeling lonely, and 76% said they lacked meaningful social connections. Let me ask you a question:

Do you want to be lonely?

I bet you don’t. No one does.

But then why do so many people feel lonely? The answer is simple:

Loneliness is not a choice. It’s an experience – which can be changed;

And one can feel lonely regardless of social, economicstatus, personality type, and even interpersonal skills!

Loneliness is not your fault or weakness.

It’s not something to blame or punish yourself for. But it's also not something to ignore.

Loneliness: Understanding the process

By definition: Loneliness is the subjective feeling of being isolated, disconnected, or lacking meaningful social relationships. But here's what is happening actually in the process:

  1. Trigger: the feeling 'I am alone' comes up – this can happen even in a crowd. This can be due to life transitions, loss of loved ones, social rejection, low self-confidence, feeling empty after people have left your party, or just feeling lonely without any reason.

  2. You start feeling low (feeling sad, empty, bored, hopeless, or anxious; withdrawing from others, avoiding social situations, or seeking unhealthy distractions)

  3. Essentially, you are not to enjoy living with yourself.

  4. You further isolate yourself from others, feel isolated, and the cycle goes on.

However, loneliness is not a permanent or hopeless condition. This cycle can be easily halted.

Breaking free from loneliness

Let me ask you a question:

If I were to give you an extremely creative task, e.g., writing a poem/painting a canvas. Would you prefer being alone, without anyone around you (and in your head), or being in chaos and talking with people? That is, you have enjoyed being alone before. In fact, you have been alone always – alone in your body, and with your mind. It's just that sometimes you were confident and blissful (with or without others), and other times, something put off your confidence, and you started feeling low, suddenly needing someone's attention.

Loneliness is 100% about the state of your mind and your confidence, and 0% about the people around you or not around you.

How is the experience when you are feeling lonely? You feel low, shrunken and heavy. And how do you feel when you are cheerfully playing soccer with your friends? Happy, light, and expanded, right? So, the process of going from feeling Lonely to Cheerful too, is from a shrunken and heavy mind to a light, and expanded state of consciousness. Now here are some ways to achieve this:

Spending time with nature

Nature is a source of beauty, inspiration, and awe. When you spend time in nature, nature automatically brings you out of the negative talks in your head, allowing you to marvel at the diversity and complexity of life. Even with a few minutes spent in raw nature, one can feel a sense of wonder and gratitude for being alive. These feelings, as you might have guessed already, make you feel light and expanded. However, finding this quality time in nature can be difficult, especially in urban living. Also, even if you have a stroll, on coming back the feelings of loneliness can take over again.

Reaching out and trying to socialize

Reaching out to friends, or even not-so-close friends by yourself can be a good start to spark conversations and come out of the state of mind you are into. Initiating communication with individuals you may have unintentionally misunderstood, solely to inquire about their well-being, can foster substantial dialogues and resolve any previous disputes. However, when you are in a state of loneliness, this might feel difficult and uncomfortable.

Observing your thoughts with patience

People call this Mindfulness. Accepting the state you are in, and watching this state pass over is a good strategy to go about loneliness too. Any state of our mind doesn't last for more than a few days (maximum). Thus, just patiently waiting for this to pass by can serve effectively too – like the still lake water in which the mud settles to the bottom. But it might take some perseverance and patience to bare through the feelings at hand.

Bonus: The shortcut method

Yes, it is possible to go from a heavy/low state of mind to a cheerful/blissful one – in as little as 15 odd minutes – without any of the steps above or even without any kind of 'self-help' reading/lecture or forcefully talking with strangers. Curious to know how?

Sign up for the free webinar where I'll share how you can control how you feel by transcending your mind and enjoying your own company(which is blissful!). I also share on the webinar 3 awesome secrets to eliminate overthinking, anxiety and stress regardless of the work/environment you are in. So make sure that you show up!

Loneliness: The opportunity

Loneliness is definitely not the ideal state of experiencing life! But the fact that you are feeling lonely has given you are chance to look within. Loneliness has given you the opportunity to see how complex our mind is. Loneliness has allowed you to take a stride and take up responsibility for your own feelings and emotions. And most importantly, your loneliness has given you the chance to rethink your meaning in life. Thus, isn't loneliness a great asset to capitalize on?

In a nutshell

Loneliness, if overlooked, can have a detrimental effect on our mental health, such as increasing the risk of depression and anxiety disorders. You can decide whether you want to get flooded away with it or use it as an asset and opportunity to take charge of your feelings and emotions. Yes, you can do it alone, in a long painful fashion, or join us at our next webinar (seats are limited so if the link is still active, secure your seats ASAP) where I'll share the secrets of how you can go from a heavy shrunken state of being, to exuberating joy in almost no time. I hope that you take action today, and I'll see you in the webinar!

Follow me on LinkedIn, Twitter, and visit my website for more info!

Vedant Kulkarni Brainz Magazine

Vedant Kulkarni, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Vedant is an internationally acclaimed executive well-being coach, aka 'Friend In Need' for high performers like you, to help you clear the clutter of anxiety, overthinking and depression, take control of your emotions & feelings, and set up a road map to reach the top of your industry. Through his decades of experience and expertise he developed unique short, and effortless meditative techniques which are helping thousands high-performing executives, founders, employees, and artists to reclaim their peace of mind, take their performance to the peak, find love in what they do, and explore deeper secrets of this mind, and the life. Over the last decade, Vedant has guided CEOs, Executive Directors, and Heads of State from across the world, advised the United Nations, and closely worked with the World Health Organization on implementing solutions on mental health & wellbeing.



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