How To Build Confidence From The Comfort Of Your Couch
- Dec 21, 2021
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 22, 2021
Written by: Irina Krasko, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever felt trapped in... your own emotions?
Going blank in the middle of a presentation or feeling your palms sweating and blood pulsing at your temples when talking to a potential client?
I personally had that and worse. Dry mouth, mumbling, blushing cheeks and many many embarrassing moments. It’s like being swirled into a vortex of own emotions and all I wanted was to disappear and hit ‘delete’ of that moment from mine and everyone else’s memory.
And was literally making me sick when I heard “step outside your comfort zone” or “fake it till you make it”...
THE COMMON MYTH ABOUT BUILDING CONFIDENCE
Most people believe that to build the confidence you need to “put yourself out there” and practice until you get it.
The problem with the “practice” method is that you may end up so frustrated and embarrassed that instead of getting better, your confidence will drop far south. Because your brain records your reactions like on a magnetic tape and it will play that tape back, giving you the same fight/flight/freeze response over and over again.
The more you fail, the more habitual your inner state becomes. Over time it may turn into procrastination, stress and anxiety.
The good news is, there is a more effective (and painless!) method. And it's off-stage - literally while sitting on your couch.
HOW DOES IT WORK
I’m sure you know about future pacing or visualisation. It is indeed a very powerful tool... but only if used in the right way!
Remember, our brain doesn’t distinguish between imagination and reality. In the imagination, your brain can “record” the new behaviours and responses which it then replays back in real life.
So all you need is to play that 'scary' situation in your mind and imagine yourself responding and behaving in the way you want to.
But if that’s so easy, why doesn't everyone use it to overcome their emotional hurdles?
Firstly, just like a habit, it requires practice and repetition so that you can re-wire the neuro links in your brain. And on top of that, you need to know what you’re doing…
HOW TO FINE-TUNE YOUR VISUALISATION
Your subconscious (which is responsible for recording & memorising your behaviours) is quite fastidious and has its own preferences. Here are some clues that will speed up the change in your habitual reactions.
Relaxation
As a matter of fact, you cannot “rewire” your brain while in crisis (i.e. in the situation itself). Change, same as learning, happens easily and quickly in slower brain frequencies, meaning you must be fully relaxed during your practice. This is why yogis, hypnotists, psychologists and doctors always ask you to RELAX :)
You can use a regular meditation induction - focusing on your breath, relaxing muscles, imagining yourself in a tranquil place, gaze into your ‘third eye’.
Details
Details are important. Not as much about the situation, but about your state and feelings. How you speak, how you stand, how you breath, what you see and hear. So-called submodalities or your 5 senses.
Connection with your body (emotions).
Emotions, emotions, emotions! This is the key!
Your mindset isn’t just about your thoughts, it’s a circular connection with your body, i.e. emotions. They work in tandem. So when you practice, bring up the emotions you want to experience in the situation. Exaggerate these emotions, make them stronger and brighter.
Metaphors
Your subconscious likes metaphors. Say, if you normally feel that your blood is rushing towards your head, you can imagine an ice-cold waterfall flowing down from the top of your head, pushing the blood flow down.
Find what works for you but don’t overthink it. Trust your gut!:)
This is just a tip of an iceberg of what “tricks” you can do with your mind. If you want to learn how to make instant shifts in your internal state and build on your confidence, check out what we do in Personality Shaping marathon!
Get more free training on mindset and confidence here!
Irina Krasko, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Irina is a Business Mindset and Confidence coach, NLP Master and Hypnotherapy practitioner. She helps entrepreneurs and professionals elevate their self-identities and inner confidence on a deep subconscious level. Her signature programme Personality Shaping Marathon is designed to create permanent changes rapidly, smashing old patterns of behaviours & reactions and ‘installing' new, desired personality traits. The combination of breakthrough coaching, NLP, neuro tools and elements of hypnotherapy - does absolute magic in a matter of a few weeks.
