How My Father’s Death Inspired Me to Get Stronger
Bre Bicknell empowers women to age powerfully. She is a Certified Personal Trainer, Nutrition Specialist, Health Coach, and Menopause Coach. She delivers practical, science-backed methods to gain muscle, boost brain health, and ignite purpose in the second half of life.
Last weekend, during an intense two-day workshop, I watched others perform one-arm pushups and pull-ups. I kept telling myself, 'It’s okay, I’m not there yet. I’m healthy, and I will get stronger.' A year ago, I signed up for the StrongFirst Bodyweight Certification led by Coach Karen Smith. To pass this certification as a woman, you must complete a one-arm pushup, a pistol squat, and a pull-up, all in perfect form.
The group was small and elite, with eight people, six men and two women. I was the least physically strong person in the group. I passed the pull-up and pistol squat but did not pass the one-arm pushup.
Why did I invest $1,300 for two days of exhausting work? Why did I commit 11 months to extra training, my own strength coach, physical therapy, chiropractic adjustments, acupuncture, and massage?
The answer is simple. I refuse to lose my capability and strength as I age. I understand deeply what muscle does for my body and the consequences of not building muscle in midlife.
To be honest, my father is a huge motivator. He passed away four years ago at 70. Diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome at 41, after 29 years of suffering, he chose to end his life.
He was driven and adventurous. As a forester, he worked hard, managed teams, supported his family, and pushed himself relentlessly. He didn’t just burn out, he torched out.
He pushed his already stressed body beyond its limits, always saying yes to others and putting their needs before his own.
Ultimately, he felt like he had a constant bad cold. Daily activities like grocery shopping, yard work, and travel left him exhausted for days. His quality of life declined sharply.
He showed up as best he could. At 50, he studied qigong and taught others this gentle way to move and reduce stress. He moved to Loreto, B.C.S., Mexico, for a drier, warmer climate. He retired early, tried acupuncture and reiki, simplified his life, and said no more often. But it was too late. He had pushed his body beyond its limits.
A weakening took over his body and his life. Chronic fatigue syndrome prevented him from living fully. He couldn’t attend his grandkid’s graduation or walk me down the aisle at my wedding.
Before he died, he wrote to his family: 'What still remains with you is the vibrant me with the good and positive energy that was once here. Live on in hope and love, and be at peace with yourself and those closest to you.'
His struggles and those words keep my head up and my eyes forward. I am at peace when I feel grounded and mentally calm. Working out and spending time with my people accomplish that for me. When I lift, I escape my busy mind and connect with my body. By keeping my phone away and committing to movement, I feel better and more capable in every way.
I fiercely protect my time, my sleep, workouts, moments with friends, date nights, and Sundays with my husband. When I maintain these priorities, I feel centered and stronger and show up at my best.
My father didn’t want to merely take up space, and neither do I. I’m here to feel alive, not just to exist. I have the knowledge and resources to grow stronger as I age. I have a healthy, capable body. At 47 years old, I have no injuries, chronic pain, or illness. That is remarkable!
My dad showed me the consequences of neglecting the body, lack of rest, ignoring strength training, and pushing beyond limits. This is why I remain a student and why I enrolled in the StrongFirst Bodyweight Certification (SFB). I want to keep learning how to get stronger with fewer setbacks and enjoy life more.
We know too much now to be unaware of how to care for ourselves. When my dad was in his mid-40s, he didn’t have access to the information I have today.
Groundbreaking doctors are bringing research and education to the public. Dr. Gabrielle Lyon has taught me that “muscle is the organ of longevity”, not just to live longer, but to enjoy life more as we age. In her book, Forever Strong, she proves that strength training grows new brain cells, builds stronger bones, and boosts the immune system.
“Your body is your best supercharged 401(k) plan,” says Dr. Wendy Suzuki, a pioneering neuroscientist researching the brain-changing benefits of exercise.
Thanks to top sleep specialist Dr. Andrea Matsumura, I have the knowledge and resources to maintain great sleep rituals that allow my body to repair, build muscle & boost my brain health with high-quality sleep.
Thanks to Dr. Lisa Mosconi, neuroscientist and director of the Women’s Brain Initiative, I understand that as a woman in perimenopause, my brain is less protected due to lower estrogen. Even though I am on full HRT (estradiol patch, progesterone pill, testosterone gel, and vaginal estradiol cream), I must prioritize sleep, strength training, nutrition, and stress reduction.
My father worked hard and sacrificed greatly for me. He sent me to a private high school, made college possible, and supported me through tough times. He empowered me to be the student and coach that I am today. I will not live in vain with this ability to enjoy life more as I grow older.
I will not keep these resources to myself. I believe I am here to empower others to shift their energy daily so they can positively impact those around them.
Coach Karen can expect to see me again at my next SFB.
In the meantime, I will keep training for the one-arm push-up. I will keep doing pull-ups to the best of my ability. I will keep jumping on boxes and skipping rope. Most importantly, I will keep sharing how others can build muscle for themselves. We know too much not to show up for ourselves. Life on earth is a high-sensory experience, and I am determined to enjoy it fully with a stronger body and sharper mind.
Read more from Bre Bicknell
Bre Bicknell, Perimenopause & Menopause Expert
Bre Bicknell is a perimenopause and menopause expert. After 20 years in the fitness industry, anxiety & depression hit her hard at age 44. After fighting to get on HRT, she dedicated herself to understanding the effects of perimenopause on the female brain. She leads women's groups and online training programs that help women gain muscle so they can age powerfully.
