How Can We Better Manage Holiday Expectations and Reduce Our Stress?
- Brainz Magazine
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Written by Dr. Nadia and Dr. Debora D'Iuso, Psychologists, Founders Of Crosstown Psychology & Wellness Clinic
Dr. Nadia D'Iuso and Dr. Debora D'Iuso are the co-founders and psychologists at Crosstown Psychology and Wellness Clinic. Their combined 25 years of experience as licensed psychologists and helping hundreds of clients have taught them one central truth-meaningful change starts with strong and trusting relationships.
The holiday season is often seen as a time of joy, family, and celebration. But for many, it is a period that can feel heavy with loneliness, stress, and unmet expectations. Whether you are navigating difficult family relationships, financial pressures, or the darker days of winter, the holidays can bring unique emotional challenges.
At Crosstown Psychology and Wellness Clinic, we see this as one of the busiest times of the year because so many people are struggling. The good news is that it is possible to find comfort, connection, and meaning during this time, on your own terms.
By focusing on what this time of year means to you, not what Hallmark says it should be, you can redefine the holidays as a season that aligns with your values, needs, and well-being.
Why the holidays can be emotionally challenging
Recognizing these challenges is the first step in addressing them. By acknowledging the difficulties, you can take proactive steps to find connection and care for your emotional well-being. Some common difficulties include:
Complex family dynamics
If your family relationships are not strong, or you are not in contact with family at all, the holidays can amplify feelings of loneliness and isolation. Even for those with good relationships, the heightened focus on togetherness can bring anxiety and pressure to meet expectations.
Financial strain
The holiday season often comes with added financial stress. Gift-giving, social events, and other holiday expenses can make it feel like celebrating is tied to spending, which can be overwhelming or impossible for some.
Seasonal changes and mood shifts
December is one of the darkest months of the year, and the lack of sunlight can affect mood, particularly for those already vulnerable to mental health struggles. The festive energy of the season can feel at odds with how you are actually feeling, creating a sense of disconnection or sadness.
High expectations
There is a societal expectation that the holidays are a time of pure happiness, joy, and togetherness. If you are not experiencing that, it can create a “contrast effect,” where you might think, “What’s wrong with me?” The truth is that many people struggle this time of year. You are not alone.
Checking in with yourself: What does this season mean to you?
Instead of focusing on what the holidays “should” be, take a moment to reflect on what you need this year. Ask yourself:
What does this time of year mean to me right now?
How am I feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally?
What would help me feel more balanced and supported this season?
Acknowledging where you are and meeting yourself with kindness is an important step in caring for your emotional well-being.
Building your circle of connection
The holiday season often comes with societal expectations of joy, togetherness, and elaborate celebrations, but connection does not have to follow these scripts. For many, the holidays are a time to redefine what connection and celebration mean on their own terms. It is not about perfection or meeting external standards. It is about finding what feels meaningful and fulfilling to you.
Connection does not have to look like a picture-perfect holiday gathering. It is about surrounding yourself with the people and energy that feel good to you. This can look like:
Starting with yourself
Reflect on what this time means to you this year. Is it a chance to rest and recharge? A time to focus on personal growth? A moment to celebrate small joys? Use this season to create rituals that bring you comfort, whether journaling, going for a walk on a snowy morning, or enjoying a quiet cup of tea.
Involving your chosen family
If you are not connected to your biological family, or prefer to keep some distance, lean on the family you have chosen. Host a potluck with friends, plan a movie night, or spend time with those who uplift you.
Redefining what “celebrating” means
Holidays do not have to involve big gatherings or expensive gifts. They can be as simple as creating a playlist of your favourite songs, baking a treat for yourself, or volunteering for a cause you care about.
Being open to change
Traditions do not have to last forever. Each year can bring something new, and the rituals you create today can evolve into something completely different down the road. What matters is that they reflect what you need right now.
You do not have to face these challenges alone. Surround yourself with those who understand and uplift you, and remember that it is okay to take this season one step at a time.
This is an important time to reach out for support, whether from a therapist or the supportive relationships in your life.
You are not alone in this journey, and there is always a way forward. Together, we can find moments of connection, even in the hardest times.
Read more from Dr. Nadia and Dr. Debora D'Iuso
Dr. Nadia and Dr. Debora D'Iuso, Psychologists, Founders Of Crosstown Psychology & Wellness Clinic
Meet Dr. Nadia and Dr. Debora D'Iuso, sisters, psychologists, and founders of Crosstown Psychology and Wellness Clinic. As a sister team, we bring both professional expertise and a deep sense of empathy to our work. We believe effective therapy starts with genuine connection, care, and actionable strategies.
Our mission? To offer compassionate, evidence-informed care that is deeply rooted in the therapeutic relationship. We know how important it is for clients to feel safe, seen, and supported in their journey.
