High Achiever, Deep Pain and How Trauma-Driven Overachievement Hides Shame and How to Break Free
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 27, 2025
- 4 min read
Written by Elizabeth Ssemanda, Intuitive Psychiatrist
Dr. Elizabeth Ssemanda is a trailblazer in holistic psychiatry. She’s the founder of New U Psychiatry, an integrative mental health practice that blends science and soul, and the host of the Stepping into Soul Power podcast, where she empowers others to heal, grow, and step into their highest potential.
On the surface, everything about her was impeccable – thriving business, incredible homes, and brand-new cars. But in her quiet moments, a truth emerged from this trauma survivor. Behind each achievement was something unexpected, shame, not excitement, that surfaced when the applause died down.
Do you ever wonder why shame has such a grip on you after trauma? You try again and again to let go, but it never seems to work. If you're someone who has experienced trauma, the feeling of shame may hit you like a ton of bricks. It may surface as the knot in your stomach that you feel after praise. It might be the hesitation in your voice after a compliment. Without realizing it, you begin to adopt new, self-defeating beliefs about yourself. New beliefs like:
Something is wrong with me.
No one cares about me.
I will never heal.
Shame doesn't just hurt – it disrupts your identity
While guilt is about behavior, shame centers around the essence of who you are, your identity. Shame rooted in trauma reshapes your core. It says you are the issue. That you are not enough, not lovable, and not safe. Trust starts to dwindle, not just in others but in yourself. Relationships with others become more distant. And as time goes by, connection is harder and harder, even to parts of yourself. You may smile on the outside, but on the inside, a deep wound is raw and open.
When shame wears a mask of overachievement
Striving for excellence can be deeply fulfilling. But when it is fueled by shame, it becomes survival. Overachievement is an ingenious disguise for unworthiness. You strive harder, get more awards, make more money, but shame remains. Why?
Because achieving more won't heal the real issue: The belief that I am not enough. Without healing, you may unknowingly find yourself in situations that reinforce that very feeling, even as you accomplish more and more.
Three steps to breaking free from trauma-related shame
1. Find it. Feel it. Free it.
We can’t let go of what we deny. Many times, shame hides in the basement of our minds. Begin with noticing it:
Where does shame show up in your body?
How does shame play out in your mind?
What events trigger it?
Naming shame takes courage. But in shedding light on shame, an opportunity arises. A space emerges to respond rather than react, and to allow feeling and later release to begin.
2. Connect in safe spaces
Shame crumbles in the presence of love. In safe spaces, built on trust, something starts to soften. Connection becomes healing. You remember that you are not alone. Others may add, “Me too.” In an atmosphere where love thrives, there is an opportunity for a new beginning, one where the compassion of others makes way for compassion with ourselves.
3. Change your story, reclaim your life
Shame distorts your story. Reclaiming your worthiness rewrites it. It’s time to stop viewing yourself as worthless and begin seeing yourself as priceless. You’ve kept going. You’ve transformed. You’ve pulled through. But now, it’s time to tell a story, one that remembers your inherent self-worth.
How to do this is up to you? Whether through the spoken word, written arts, or dance, share your story from a place of strength and power. Begin to tell yourself and others a new story. You are not someone who went through trauma, but you are someone that grew because of it.
Deep wounds need deep care
On the outside, overachievement at any cost looks great, but under the guise of shame, the pain you carry remains unseen. If you no longer want to carry the burden of shame, you don’t have to walk alone. Find a support group, talk to a friend, or consult with a trusted health professional.
As an intuitive psychiatrist, over the years, I have come to specialize in helping empaths break free from trauma and heal the deep wounds of shame. My own journey has revealed that healing is not always a linear path – there are many routes to restoring wholeness. Look into your heart. Trust your gut. Take the path to healing that resonates with you. Let today be the day that you step towards a solution that brings you peace.
Read more from Elizabeth Ssemanda
Elizabeth Ssemanda, Intuitive Psychiatrist
Dr. Elizabeth Ssemanda is a board-certified psychiatrist, intuitive, and leading voice in holistic mental health. Frustrated with the symptom-focused approach of conventional psychiatry, she founded New U Psychiatry—an integrative practice that honors the connection between mind, body, and spirit. As CEO, she merges science with soul to help people not just heal, but truly thrive. She’s also the host of the Stepping into Soul Power podcast, where she empowers listeners to step into their highest potential. Deeply committed to education, Dr. Ssemanda mentors medical students, supervises nurse practitioners, and supports early-career psychiatrists. Her mission is simple yet profound: to bring the soul back to psychiatry.
