Written by: Amie Dean, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Check out Part 1 if you missed it!
The three most important qualities you need to heal your inner child wounds is an openness to the pain you feel, the courage to be with the pain (allowing), and self-compassion to love this little one more deeply than she has ever been loved before. It’s an unconditional love that comes naturally when you open in curiosity and stay courageously with the wounds she has been carrying for much too long. As you practice sending compassion her way, over time, you will naturally merge with your Higher Self and unconditional love will flow effortlessly to this little one inside.
Throughout this transformative journey together, you will discover how your inner child affects your spiritual awakening journey through the six phases, and discover how to tap into the power of the Akashic Records to deepen this healing experience. Each chapter will guide you further into your heart for the understanding of your unique journey to wholeness and healing.
You are invited to meet her where she is, in the space of her pain, her fears. It means holding her, cradling her within your heart. It means loving her so deeply that the pains of the past are transcended and when she looks back at you, you know that you are truly one. Then she will be home here with you in the cave of your heart….never to be lost or alone again.
No matter how many wounds you feel you have or how long it’s been since these wounds began coloring the natural joy that you are, I want to extend my heart to yours in the knowing that it is more than possible to heal these wounds. Once these wounds have been transcended, you’ll experience a beautiful synergistic connection between you as your Highest Self and your inner child. This little one will no longer carry the hurt of the past so she can step into the innocence of her very being. With any fears or concerns about the future she has going forward, she feels safe enough to express those to you, and trusts you to guide her. You enter Phase 6 – Integration on your spiritual awakening journey (our journey in part 2) when you’re inner child, has healed all of her wounds and all your sub-personalities trust you to lead them. You effortlessly guide your parts each and every day.
When we venture into the six phases of spiritual awakening in part two of this book, we will deeply explore the states of awakening and the pathway to it.
As we revisit the metaphor of the inner child being wounded in the castle of your heart, you might remember a time before when you were in this natural state of wonder and joy, just being a part of life. Once these wounds are healed, this child within you naturally goes back to their natural state of presence, the brightness and curiosity of life you may have once felt.
In the book, The Leap: A Psychology of Spiritual Awakening, Taylor shares stories about the natural wakefulness of children, how they tend to experience the wonders and joys of life, he describes children as having a “natural state of presence”. Taylor explains that there is a difference between the mature and immature states of awakening, as children are awake within the context of their experience, before the ego-mind is fully formed. When we awaken as adults, which includes healing the wounding that keeps this little girl within us stuck, we ascend to this more mature awakening, which goes beyond the ego-mind.
It is necessary to heal the inner child wounds in order to step into the awakened life you are destined to ascend to. These wounds not only hold the inner child back from her natural innocence and wakefulness, but it keeps you at a lower vibration of consciousness which keeps you from communing with your Soul, your Higher Self, and of which is the mergence you are seeking deep within.
When your inner child is wounded, there are a few tell-tale signs that this little one is struggling. Here are some ways you can tell:
When someone says something hurtful, you feel reactive or defensive.
When someone says something hurtful or dismisses you in some way, you feel your heart is closing off, and you are shutting down.
You find yourself comparing yourself to others – their physical appearance, their successes, their failures, there's this underlying wound that “I am not enough” (shame).
You find yourself reverting back to what a child might say such as saying things like “you don’t care about me” “you don’t love me” “I can’t trust you” “that’s not fair” or childlike behaviors such as throwing things, slamming doors, stomping your feet, having a “tantrum” and being easily brought to tears. You might even be able to locate what age you are feeling at the moment.
You have many protective parts of you that play a large role in your day to day experiences – such as the critic, self doubter, perfectionist, anxiety and control behaviors.
The problem with these wounds is as soon as you start to feel these experiences, the inner critic in you might come in during or afterwards to shake it head from left to right and shake its finger at you which re-establishes the shame this inner child feels. Therefore this becomes a cycle, one in which the inner child returns to her dormant state until the next trigger activates her wounds.
Eckhart Tolle refers to the pain we carry as our pain body, and in this way, our inner child wounds are a big aspect of this painful body.
Even if you are able to experience days and weeks and even months without emotional triggers due to the strong protective defenses of your other ego sub-personalities, the inner child is still there and will become activated as soon as a person or situation arises and uncovers that wounding.
The wounded child is one of the major foundational causes of our mental and emotional suffering as it creates the branches of ego parts that cause us so much distress. We struggle with seeing this because of the myriad ways we identify with the shifting moods and emotions throughout the day. In truth, if this inner child felt good enough, deeply loved, and safe deep within you wouldn’t need these ego defense systems in place. You would live from your Higher Self effortlessly because you would be in balance emotionally, energetically, and psychologically.
It’s so important that you know that it’s not your fault. You are not the cause of this children wounding, it was not your fault that any of this happened. We must forgive ourselves before we can help this little one inside. We will dive deeper into this topic in the next chapter as we more deeply explore trauma, its connection to your inner child and how it affects your spiritual awakening journey.
One Inner Child or Many?
As you embark on this journey, you may start to question whether you are discovering one inner child or many, often the inner child shapeshifts through different ages during our experience of getting to know her. From this perspective, we have many inner child parts of us at various ages with different likes and dislikes. It is one inner child, expressing itself as several based on your experiences growing up. For example, 5-year-old inner child likes to draw and paint and is upset that she didn’t have the birthday she wanted, while 10-year-old inner child part is upset that her friends didn’t want to jump rope with her and she prefers to spend time outdoors. As the healing work begins, these inner child parts begin to integrate into one and will become less defined. For simplicity purposes, I will continue to refer to your inner child as one child, even though you may see her appear as many.
Inner Child Healing Practice: Writing A Letter To Your Inner Child
Step 1: Begin opening to having a relationship with this inner child inside, use the letter method to write a letter to her from your Highest Self using the example below. You’ll also find this letter template on the books resource page to download with additional guidance. With the analogy of the castle of your heart, imagine that she has been waiting for this letter in the dungeon of your heart, you can get letters to her and her to you. You can communicate to begin the healing process:
(Express desire to get to know this little one, extend apologies for not being there in the way she needed you, let her know you are here to rebuild this relationship)
If this little child wants to write back, give her the space to do so on another blank page.
Daily Inner Child Healing: Open, Allow, Compassionate Connection
It’s so important to stay in touch with this inner child every day, it is very simple and takes just a few minutes. I recommend setting a reminder so you don’t forget.
Step 1: Open
Place your hand on your heart intending to connect to your inner child from your Higher Self- What is my inner child feeling or experiencing right now?
Let your inner child emotions arise or listen to the words you hear or images that appear in your mind's eye. To the best of your ability, allow the experience to be. If it ever becomes too distressing to be with, skip to step 3.
Step 3: Send love and compassion to your inner child with the following words:
“Dear One, you are perfect exactly as you are. As you rest in the center of my heart – I send divine love your way. You will never, ever be alone again. All is well.”
In chapter 3, you will be guided to explore trauma from a brain, body and spiritual perspective in order to have the full picture for healing
Amie Dean, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Amie Dean is a certified clinical trauma counselor and an Ascension Coach. She helps driven, empathic women struggling with self criticism and not feeling good enough, heal their inner child wounds so they can live an authentic, spiritually awakened life- true to their souls mission. She is the founder of One Awakening, a transformational online community to heal core wounds together and awaken spiritually. In her signature Awakened Living Program, she is a guide for increased self awareness and Higher Self realignment.