Healing in a Broken Culture with Coaches, Therapists, and the Collective Wound

Written by Gemma Gains, Director

Gemma Gains is a Space Holder and Facilitator in the world of healing and transformation. She specializes in the subtleties of reading and harnessing energy.

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In a world obsessed with productivity, self-improvement, and healing, we often overlook a deeper truth: we are nature, not separate from it. Healing in a Broken Culture invites you to explore the collective wounds that shape both clients and practitioners, questioning the booming wellness industry, the labels we place on each other, and the societal structures that keep us treating symptoms instead of roots. This reflective journey asks, are we truly healing, or simply managing the fallout of a culture that has lost touch with its natural essence? Let’s walk this path of inquiry together.

Phenomenal humans: As nature intended?

I realise that this article could be bordering on controversial, with me being a therapist. Stay with me, let’s go on a quest together to find our answers to some big questions. With emphasis from our society that we are our jobs, it can sometimes play havoc with our fears of self-worth to think of ourselves outside of our ‘roles’. We all want to feel useful and needed. For example. I am a mother. I am a therapist. I am an activist and humanitarian, an artist, seamstress, entrepreneur, gardener, space holder and energy practitioner. These roles are interwoven, changeable and based on opinion? Right? I mean, these days, we are questioning what a woman is. 

What is one thing that we can’t question? Where can we stick a flag in the sand? 

I am nature.

In man’s hand… From the Oxford Dictionary, I reference.

The phenomena of the physical world collectively, including plants, animals, the landscape, and other features and products of the earth, as opposed to humans or human creations.

"The breathtaking beauty of nature"

Similar: the natural world, the living world, Mother Nature, creation, the world, the environment, the earth, Mother, Earth, the universe, the cosmos, natural forces, wildlife, flora and fauna, countryside, landscape, scenery

The basic or inherent features, character, or qualities of something.

“The breathtaking beauty of nature!” I mean, WOW! No wonder we are left constantly searching for something outside of ourselves for answers, when the very sources we reach out to for answers are wrong?

Sounds to me, we have written ourselves out of our own story. Our separateness from our nature is leaving space for the deepest inversion, collapsing in on ourselves. If we look to Nature, we see the exquisite dance of symbiosis, of all organisms nourishing one another, communication from the flower to the bee, how can we not see the breath from us to the trees?

How does that translate from one human to another? If we cannot see the ‘beauty’ in ourselves, how can we see it in others? How can we recognise that our symbiosis with one another is needed to function optimally? Could we see the link between our hormones and the way they are affected by other humans, at least? A communication that is deeper than words.

If we are not nature, then what are we? It begs the question, what is our purpose on the earth? If we’re not part of…Even the narrative of being a parasite on Mother Earth denotes that we are nature?

If we look at the people who continue this connection to the earth and its nature, we don’t hear words like depression. We don’t hear words like anxiety and perimenopause, and autoimmune diseases, just to name a few. 

What if we are trying to heal personal wounds that are cultural injuries? 

The wellness industry: A product of the same wound?

Leaving our egos at the door, let’s continue and wade in a little deeper. I have to first acknowledge the necessity and sincerity of my fellow coaches, therapists and practitioners, doctors, nurses and all the other amazing souls stepping into the breach. I see you; I am you. 

I also see another truth that co-exists, weaving its way through our deepest and truest intentions, and we can say it doesn’t exist, but we feel it. It shows in our need for validation, our burnouts and ‘wounded healer complexes’. Having worked in the community for 5 years now, I see the same stories play out over and over. And seeking advice and coaching myself in the past to squash these very real reactions to circumstances that didn’t feel truly aligned.

I chose to question deeper, to go where most fear to tread. I entered the healing arena and exited stage left faster than healing a broken bone. What I witnessed was a business, a conveyor belt, a factory floor of rinse and repeats. Pitted with moments of awe! I observed all the certifications and minimal safety, fast food, but a lack of nourishment, electric connection, and short-term gratification. Spotted on occasions with beautiful awakenings and transformative processes. 

And I found myself having to sit out and listen to the feelings of, is this ‘right’?

Are we paying to feel what communities once offered freely? Presence, care, witnessing, initiation? Are we now Monetising pain? What value could we put on community health? 

And we can all sit bolt upright and say ‘That’s not me!” Explain our intentions and become angry that we have been wronged, outed and misinterpreted. We can explain with all the fancy buzz words and show how our way is void of low vibrations. I get it, I have been going round these houses for some time. Let me share something with you…

Playing God: The wounded healer

Our family has been through Family Court, our trial ended last year. During the process, I was interviewed and assessed by a psychologist and a psychiatrist, and I was labelled as being narcissistic and delusional by the psychologist (which I don’t mind exploring and will do shortly). But for this part of the quest, I would like to share comments that the Psychiatrist made. Just for a little background, I was able to choose them from a list of 3, I was informed that they were the most experienced in our kind of cases. They recorded our sessions, but there were a couple of comments they made off record that I feel help with getting the answers to the bigger questions. 

We were talking generally, and they said, “People do not change, they learn to manage themselves”

A bolt of lightning hit me, belief structure, our bias, our opinion, our judgments and how we operate, however qualified, overrule it all. The doctor had so many certifications, had been practising for years, and on paper, they had evidence of their expertise. I was floored by all the roles they had had on their CV. Before I continue, I must note that I do not feel any way towards them; this is an observation. 

I wondered at the time why you would help an alcoholic get clean? Or let someone out of prison? With that belief? Why be in their role for all those years? And then later, they made a statement, “Miss Gains doesn’t handle stress very well”. An epiphany exploded in my mind: How on God’s green earth could they grade my stress level to my circumstance? On anyone, in fact?

My mind erupted like a flicker pad to all the times I had been judged by professionals about who, what and why I was the way I was. All the times they had got it wrong? The many misdiagnoses, how I had been spoken to about my Dyslexia, my breakdown (my breakthrough), I was told I would be on Thyroid medication for the rest of my life, I am drug free, I was told I was infertile, I have a 6-year-old son. I also went to a therapist when I was in my early twenties for stress and came away with complex PTSD. There have been so many. 

I see these experiences as opportunities for growth. These experiences have become my credentials, the life university of healing from physical, psychological and emotional dis-ease. 

I circle back to the ‘Delusional’ diagnoses, which was decided (I believe) by answering this question (the following title) with a “Yes, I agree”

Do plants talk?

Now, before I continue, I have to point out that I am a sceptic! I sometimes wait years to talk about the information I receive in meditation to find the relevant evidence in my reality, which happened very recently with the ‘relational universe’ ideals I speak on.

The tests I took with the psychologist had no context. No room for nuance. I realised at the time of taking the tests that I would be judged harshly, but my overwhelming feeling was that I needed to tell my truth. I believe that plants do talk. As the question answers stated, “do you strongly agree, agree, don’t agree, and strongly don’t agree” that was the choices…

Since these tests and the final court hearing, I have journeyed deeper into the regenerative farming and land management communities, whilst researching and building my company, investing in people and projects, and this is something they all discuss. I have met some incredibly ‘spiritual’ and conscious humans who have no clue about “spirituality” in a societal context, but are deeply rooted in the consciousness of all living matter. 

The most profound individuals are the ones who speak with the land, the fungi and the plants. A lady called Tash, who operates Land Food Medicine @ 42 Acres, made a lasting impression. If you feel called to research yourself, and there are so many more.

I will not try to articulate the wonder of the communication between these wonderful humans and the plants, trees and land they inhabit, only state that it does happen, and has happened for millennia. This is not new technology; this is ancient, herbalist of the past, the first peoples to forage, communicate with these organisms, build relationships and look to these technologies for wisdom. There are, of course, people who have inherited this ability to commune with the natural world. I hope this inspires you to research and dive into nature yourself. 

The ego box: Diagnoses

So, was it ignorance that labelled me?

None of the diagnoses that I have received have been correct. Not one. I could not tell you how many clients and people I have met over the years who have said the same. I really could write a book just about misdiagnoses.

I have also known people to live with diagnoses that could easily be cured, but their belief systems trapped them into taking the diagnoses as part of their character. And deeper than that, people are being told they have so many weeks to live and are dying exactly to the day.

So I ask, What does the diagnosis do? 

Does it soothe our ego to know we have found the answer? Scored on the test? We joined the dots and can send them on their way? Why have we created several industries for health and well-being when we could be spending the money on creating better living conditions? Is there an industry for community? Oh, the government? 

The coaching industry alone is a billion-dollar entity, with people who coach the coaches raking in life-changing amounts of money… Inspiring millions of people to leave their ‘regular’ jobs and seek a piece of this billion-dollar behemoth. 

So, if we are all healers, coaches, therapists, practitioners and wellbeing facilitators, who is doing all the other jobs that society needs? In the 80’s, everyone was in banking and shares, now everyone is in ‘Wellness’. 

But we are still missing the point, this is where the ego takes the wheel for many. People are flooding into the space wanting to help society. But we aren’t. We are… 

Treating the symptoms of a sick society

Before we were any of our roles, we were and are nature. We need each other, we need nutritious food, and to feel safe and loved. To have an environment where growth and expansion are cultivated. Our well-being as a society is a holistic one. I do not need to list off the culprits? Productivity obsession, Hyper individualism, absence of community or purpose, but the biggest killer of life that we have curated… Convenience.

There is nothing more unnatural than a life of convenience. Pain, struggle and difficulty are all part of the beautiful tapestry of life, and now we can dial a therapist instead of building intimacy with a friend. Or take certification after certification and be ‘Qualified’ in a matter of weeks.

Most indigenous Shamans were born healers, who would be chosen by the tribe, train all their lives, give up their freedom to honour their position and take no payment and rely on the generosity of the tribe to sustain life. 

Please don’t think for one minute that I am saying that we are not needed. I have experienced the healing powers of aligned practitioners that have blown my mind! I believe that to be our best as a community, we need to have integrity. To get honest about why and how we do what we do. And question this life of convenience, the lack of autonomy and sovereignty.

Because our nature depends on it! We aren’t broken, we are reacting. Deep healing requires a questioning that the ego fears…This article is not about me barking orders or displaying “I have all the answers”, but echoes my philosophy of my work: I ask questions and listen intently for the answers.

 I leave you with a question. 

“What did you want to do as a child? And how could you incorporate that into your role now?”

(Thank you for reading, I appreciate your time taken greatly! I want to reaffirm that this was not a jab, or a wagging finger, this is a critique at the end of an art show, a place where we can start to talk about creating beauty in this world and not more pain, I have a young boy and I started my work, inspired by the future I build for him, I wish him to be sovereign, healthy and content. If we continue not to address the society that is breeding pain and suffering, what future will all our children live? I am devoted to the human experience, its tragedy and its wonder. A master piece we all get to paint)

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Read more from Gemma Gains

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Gemma Gains, Director

Gemma is a space holder, guiding you as a compassionate, protective, and dedicated shepherd through the subtle energies of your field. With patience and wisdom, Gemma uses her intuitive card readings, deep conversation, and body work to help release blockages and heal generational traumas, realigning your energetic flow. Drawing on principles of quantum physics, Gemma can help you understand how your inner world reflects your relationships with yourself, others, and the Earth. As your unwavering guide, Gemma is dedicated to supporting you in returning to a "right" relationship with yourself, while leaving you with full autonomy over your healing journey. Her intention is to empower you to reconnect with your true self and cultivate harmony within your body, energy, and the world around you.