Written by: Juan Carlos Gouveia, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Although many people enjoy Valentine’s Day with a partner, many more who are currently single can find the pressure from marketing and others’ expectations draining and negatively impacting their well-being.
By shifting your perspective, you too can have a great – independent – Valentine's Day.
Keep in mind these simple yet crucial points.
Your most important relationship. The one lifelong relationship you’ll have is with yourself. When you recognise that loving yourself is one of the most important aspect of life. Appreciating and caring for yourself leads to a fulfilling life, whether you’ve a partner or not.
It’s just hype. Just like Christmas, Black Friday and other days created to sell goods, marketing pressures are high for Valentine's Day. You’ll feel much more in control when you refuse to respond to the hype and keep in perspective that it's just one day - and put it firmly in its place.
Don’t despair – don’t compare. Avoid comparing yourself to others, as you are unique. You’re not them and they’re not you. Be grateful for who you are and what you have. Couples who appear blissfully happy on Instagram may not be so in real life – these are sometimes staged snapshots of their relationships designed for the world to see, not the complete story.
Gratitude is an attitude. Practicing gratitude is an effective way for appreciating what you have and good fortune, focusing on what's present rather than what's missing in your life.
Words have power – handle them with care. You respond to the words, thoughts and images you put in your mind. Reframe negative thoughts and images about being alone with positive empowering ones such as being independent, or being free to fulfil your life without needing approval or permission. Acknowledge any negative internal chatter you may have and work to replace it with positivity.
If it all gets too much – stop and breathe. Overwhelm can come upon any of us, so if this happens to you the best thing to do is stop whatever you are doing (wherever possible), close your eyes and focus on breathing. Slow, deep and rhythmic breathing can quickly help restore equilibrium to your mind, as a slow, steady rate of breathing actually encourages the mind to feel that you are safe.
I wish you a great – independent – Valentine’s Day. However, you choose to spend it, please remember that the best friend and soulmate you could ever find is looking right back at you in the mirror.
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Juan Carlos Gouveia, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Juan Carlos Gouveia is a Solution Focused Therapist – Clinical Hypnotherapist and Performance Coach. After 22 years’ experience as a Biomedical Scientist, he retrained as a therapist, using his insights to help his clients understand, and master, the fundamental mind/body connection. Clients come to him for his bespoke combination therapy short programme, to be guided and supported through an exploration of their subconscious drivers and long-forgotten experiences which, unconsciously, still shape their actions in the present day. Juan Carlos helps his clients discover the answers to what’s holding them back, helping them progress. His passion is helping his clients achieve the change they deserve.
