Written by: Galit Cohen, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Self-confidence is the foundation of leadership. As a leader, you are looked at for direction, and when you are self-assured others are more inclined to trust your vision.
If you’re a new leader, an aspiring leader, or a seasoned leader looking to strengthen your self-confidence, try my CHEER methodology.
C- Critic Silence your inner critic!
Your inner critic refers to that little voice in your head that feeds you thoughts like “I’m not good enough” and “I should give up.”
The best trick for silencing your inner critic is to NAME IT!
By naming it you start to create separation. You are not your inner critic. Your inner critic is simply one part of you.
Ultimately your inner critic is trying to keep you safe. They don’t want you to fail or feel embarrassed.
When you hear them pipe up, one approach is to thank them for trying to keep you safe and reassuring them you are capable of taking on the endeavor.
Or, if you’re sassy like me, you can tell them to shut up and back off.
Once you start noticing their voice, challenge what they're telling you. For example, if they say, “you’re going to humiliate yourself during the presentation,” challenge it by saying “well, last week I gave a pretty good presentation, the team was very engaged.”
It doesn't have to be the complete opposite, just a nicer, more empowering thought.
As you start challenging the thoughts they feed you and replacing them with kinder ones, the replacements will become your automatic thoughts.
H- Humanness. Remember, you’re still human!
As a leader, eyes are on you. Sometimes you may be expected to be superhuman and never make any mistakes, always say, and do the “right” thing, and have unwavering confidence.
This is unrealistic, and a mentality that sets you up for disappointment.
Ultimately, you're human just like everyone else around you.
To be human is to feel vulnerable. Vulnerability is defined by Dr. Brené Brown as the feeling of uncertainty and emotional exposure.
It is a concept that is often associated with one’s personal life but feeling vulnerable doesn’t and shouldn’t stop in the workplace.
Each of us has a unique lens through which we look at life. This lens can get fogged up by our personal biases, assumptions, and life experience, and create blind spots.
When you lean into vulnerable conversations, like asking your team for feedback, you’re able to minimize those blind spots.
Certain feedback may sting, but ultimately it gives you the opportunity to course-correct.
If you’re feeling anxious before going into a feedback conversation, try this breathing technique to calm your nervous system.
On the other side of fear, lies freedom. – Roy T. Bennet
E- Exposure. Get out there!
In the absence of confidence, you just need a little courage!
You know that thing you’re avoiding because you feel too nervous to do it?
I have bad news and I have good news.
The Bad news: You have to do it.
The Good news: You can do it at your own pace.
Stepping out of your comfort zone can transform your confidence.
Each time you do something you thought you couldn’t, your brain notes it down as “evidence.” Evidence of what you are capable of.
Whether it's leading the meeting with the CEO, giving a presentation to the investors, or setting up a 360 evaluation, take a step.
Set up a meeting with confidence to go over your talking points, present the presentation to your family, or ask one person for feedback.
The more you avoid it, the greater the fear becomes.
So, you know that thing we talked about you avoiding? What’s one step towards overcoming that?
E- Evidence! Note the evidence you have.
Take note of every time your confidence gets a boost.
Make a list of the excellent feedback from your subordinates, touching compliments you receive from friends, the times you crushed your presentations, and anytime you were nervous but still acted.
The way you choose to keep track of these accomplishments and confidence boosts is up to you. A few options are: writing them in a journal, keeping an email chain going with yourself, or typing it in the notes section of your phone.
Be intentional about adding to the list and visit it whenever you need a confidence boost.
Fall 7 times, get up 8 -Japanese Proverb
R- Recover. How are you recovering from a confidence knock?
Resilience
The best leaders work on not only their professional growth but their personal growth as well.
Let’s be honest, growth can be painful.
Everyone’s self-confidence takes a hit from time to time. How you recover from these moments affects your self-image.
Below are a few steps you can take when you feel like you’ve been knocked down.
Name it to tame it. Acknowledge your feelings. I encourage you to say what you’re feeling out loud “I feel [insert emotion].”
Take some space. Ruminating can drive you crazy. At some point, you need to take some space. Try and get your mind off the situation and go on a walk, take a bath, or maybe watch TV.
Reframe the experience. What did you learn?
Last, but certainly not least, forgive yourself. As we discussed earlier, you’re human! There are going to be times when you make a mistake, feel embarrassed or ashamed. Be willing to forgive yourself.
You demonstrate the truest form of resilience when you get back up after being knocked down.
Use these five techniques to build your self-confidence and become your own CHEER-leader (pun completely intended).
Galit Cohen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Galit F. Cohen is a leadership coach specializing in evolving Emotional Intelligence. Galit brings a unique perspective from growing up in a multicultural household, which provided her with a trifocal lens to examine her relationship with others.
Galit is a fierce advocate for positive self-talk and passionate about empowering others to overcome self-doubt. She believes there is something magical about each person and loves helping others find that magic within themselves.
Galit holds a master's degree in Organization Development and Leadership and bachelors degree in Communication and International Studies. She has been featured in Ariana Huffington's Thrive Global and Authority Magazine.
