From Wishing to Watching – The Gift We Really Need This Season
- Brainz Magazine
- Dec 15, 2025
- 3 min read
Written by Melissa Owens, Executive Well-Being Coach
Melissa Owens, ACC, MBA, is an Executive Coach and expert in Well-being. Her mission is to fill the world with healthier people. She strives to do that by taking top executives from burnout to balance.
As the holidays approach, many of us find ourselves wishing for things to feel a certain way. We wish for more peace. We wish for more connection. We wish for rest, magic, meaning, and moments that feel worthy of the season.
From an early age, we are taught to make wish lists and vision boards. And while these are not inherently bad, they can shift our focus away from the deeply nourishing practice of watching.
Watching invites presence. Watching reveals meaning. Watching helps us receive what is already here. Looking back, it’s funny how the moments I remember most weren’t the ones I wished for. They were the ones I watched unfold when I was present enough to notice them.
What do we mean by “wishing” and “watching”?
Wishing lives in the future. It's idealistic and often fueled by nostalgia or comparison.
Wishing sounds like:
“I hope everyone gets along this year.”
“I wish I had a larger spending budget.”
“I wish things could be like they used to be.”
Wishing isn’t wrong, but it can keep us grasping for an emotional experience we can’t control. Watching lives in the present. It is grounded, calm, and rooted in awareness.
Watching sounds like:
“I see my kids laughing in the driveway.”
“I notice how it feels good to slow down.”
“It’s good to be sitting around my parents’ table.”
Watching helps us receive what is unfolding, rather than striving for something different.
Why the holidays magnify wishing
The holiday season asks a lot of us. We often expect perfect gatherings, perfect meals, and perfect memories. Meanwhile, real life continues, and it’s human, tender, and imperfect. This tension pulls us into a state of wishing.
12 ways to shift from wishing to watching this season
Watch for the moments when your body relaxes: Your nervous system tells the truth long before your mind does. Pay attention to what feels grounding.
Watch for small, unplanned joys: A warm drink. A child’s giggle. A quiet morning. This is holiday magic in its purest form.
Watch for where your values naturally appear: Connection? Service? Simplicity? Let what matters guide your choices, not the performance of the season.
Watch for the people who replenish you: Notice who brings calm, not chaos. Seek them out.
Watch the moments when expectations rise: This is the gateway to overwhelm. Awareness is the antidote.
Watch for opportunities to simplify: More isn’t better, watching invites us to pare back.
Watch your emotional bank account: Are you depositing or withdrawing? The holidays require both awareness and boundaries.
Watch the stories you're telling yourself: Are they hopeful? Are they heavy? Are they even true?
Watch for what zaps your energy: If a tradition drains you instead of nourishing you, give yourself permission to change it.
Watch for emotional openings: Times when someone is more available, receptive, or connected.
Watch your pace: Slower walking, slower speaking, slower breathing.
Watch for the people who are trying: A compassionate shift from judgment to appreciation.
The holidays won’t be made by what you wish for this year, but by what you watch for. And that shift might just be the most meaningful gift you give yourself.
Read more from Melissa Owens
Melissa Owens, Executive Well-being Coach
Melissa Owens is an Executive Coach and expert in well-being, dedicated to helping leaders overcome burnout and achieve balance. With an MBA and an ICF certification, she specializes in empowering top executives to thrive both personally and professionally. Through her coaching, Melissa helps clients elevate their impact by integrating emotional intelligence, leadership, and wellness practices. Her mission is to create healthier, more resilient leaders, equipping them with the tools for sustainable success. Melissa is the founder of WellEquippedLeadership.com.
