From Silence to Strength – Unveiling the Power of Resilience in Leadership (Part 3)
- Brainz Magazine
- 5 days ago
- 10 min read
Written by Sam Mishra, The Medical Massage Lady
Sam Mishra (The Medical Massage Lady) is a multi-award winning massage therapist, aromatherapist, accredited course tutor, oncology and lymphatic practitioner, trauma practitioner, breathwork facilitator, reiki and intuitive energy healer, transformational and spiritual coach, and hypnotherapist.
In Part 1 and Part 2, we explored the foundations of trauma-informed leadership and the journey from silence to strength. In Part 3, we continue the story with a deeper look into authentic leadership, healthy boundaries, and the transformative power of turning pain into purpose.
Authentic leadership
My journey has been marked with loss, but out of that loss came clarity. Healing is not only about physical touch, it is about dignity, empathy, and restoring quality of life, and that is exactly what I have committed my life to bringing back into the world.
The turning point came through years of work on my own trauma. I learned to make sense of both the significant and seemingly minor experiences that shaped my life. This reflection led to an important realisation, external factors such as environment, possessions, or career do not define identity. True transformation lies in the internal work, even when it is uncomfortable.
Having spent the majority of my life with a dysregulated nervous system and CPTSD, I have constantly pushed against what felt safe. That process was triggering and challenging, yet deeply rewarding. For years, fear of imperfection and external judgement dictated my path. Only in recent times did I discover liberation when I realised that I no longer needed others to validate me or determine my self-worth. No longer trying to fix everything that others claimed was wrong, I began to embrace myself fully. Through this acceptance, I found my purpose, to love myself and others for all that they are, with both strengths and flaws. Nourishing connections with people who embraced my humanity became central to my journey. With lived experience as my foundation, I believe I am now in a stronger position to lead by example.
I never thought of myself as a leader. It was only through receiving the Global Recognition Award in January and then the CREA Global Award in June that I began to realise that I carried the label of a leader. Recognised for therapeutic innovation, educational leadership, and community service, these acknowledgements reflected qualities never imagined to belong to someone once shy, anxious, and uncertain. I still find it quite funny because I never grew up with ambition or the belief that I could be someone or serve as an example. Therefore, I have not really seen it as a challenge, as I am simply doing the work I want to do.
Leadership, for me, was never an intentional goal. I recognised a call for it and wanted to help certain groups of people. If people view me as a leader, I find it nice to hear, but it is not something I ever set out to achieve. It emerged through resilience, authenticity, and a determination to transform pain into purpose. Through this work, I continue to build a legacy of purpose, turning personal pain into a force for healing, knowledge, and transformation.
Balancing the weight of responsibility while staying true to personal values, however, emerged as a pressing issue recently, concerning a safeguarding matter with one of my trauma clients. With trauma clients, ensuring safety and establishing clear boundaries remains a top priority. Having experienced abuse and living with PTSD, setting boundaries presented a personal challenge for me, although I have improved in this area. Learning to say no has been a significant step, shaped by a history of chronic people pleasing and experiences as a parentified child.
In this specific situation, the client required considerable support, but an incident left her feeling unsafe. I respected her experience and agreed with the decision to pause therapy, also recognising that continuing to offer support at that moment would not have served the client’s best interest. The challenge lay in adhering to professional boundaries while my instinct, as someone who has endured trauma, was to provide constant reassurance. I felt the desire to message the client and offer ongoing support, yet I recognised that maintaining boundaries remained essential, so to ensure the client’s well-being, I arranged for support from alternative sources.
Even though I initially experienced the natural feeling of having let the client down, I reflected on the core reason I pursued this work, to ensure that survivors of abuse receive the support I wished I had. Over several days, I understood that upholding boundaries was the right action for the client, even if the client remained unaware of this fact.
Finding balance, particularly after trauma, rarely comes easily. It involves ongoing effort and making the best use of available resources. A guiding force in my practice has been my clients’ trust and belief in me, which I describe as a source of strength and clarity. Observing myself through their perspective helps reset my mindset, providing reassurance that moments of struggle do not indicate inadequacy, they reflect human experience. My clients have played a crucial role in my growth, offering honest feedback and unwavering support. Their loyalty and recognition of my work reinforce its meaning and direct me towards new goals. Repeated affirmation from clients provides motivation to continue refining my services, pushing my personal and professional development forward despite any self-doubt or past trauma.
My professional achievements, therapeutic innovation, and educational leadership combine with my community engagement to create a lasting impact on both individuals and wider society. My own recovery from trauma has been deeply intertwined with my work with clients, learning as much from them as they gain from my guidance.
The power of internal dialogue in achieving balance must also be emphasised. Adjusting self-talk can reset the nervous system, facilitating steadiness in other areas of life. The focus lies on introspection rather than external validation, examining triggers, understanding their origins, and reflecting on past influences shaping present responses. I acknowledge that this remains an ongoing process, unique for each individual.
If I were to mention one challenge, it would be that once the label is assigned, there can be added pressure to feel that I must live up to it. There is a sense of, “Well, okay, what can I do now?” There is pressure to constantly improve or do more, sometimes not because of personal desire but because of perceived expectations from others.
Thinking back to a recent conversation about what defines a good leader, traditionally, a leader was seen as a business head in a top position, formal and knowledgeable about policies and background information, but leadership actually requires more vulnerability and humanity. These qualities have always been a part of my professional role. I am naturally sensitive, emotional, and open to sharing my experiences. If telling my story can make a difference for just one person, then it is a worthwhile task. Being labelled a leader has not required any change in my approach. I will continue being myself, and people may appreciate it or may not. What matters is that I present my authentic self, which I believe is all anyone can do.
A female perspective
Many women believe that men receive more opportunities, which can limit their own growth. While this holds true in certain instances, I observe that women often unconsciously hold themselves back. Judgements of women can stem from personal conditioning or insecurities, which frequently interfere with professional development. Such insecurities can be made worse when we become aware of our emotions, even though that awareness is something that empowers us.
Women encounter challenges such as balancing work and life, misrepresentation, lack of recognition and mentorship, imposter syndrome, and pay disparities. Women must recognise the unique perspectives and problem-solving abilities that they bring to leadership. Inclusive workplaces and collaborative leadership approaches enhance team dynamics and organisational strength. Women’s leadership often focuses on connection, accountability, and authenticity, contrasting with the competitiveness and assertiveness commonly associated with men.
Leadership is not just what one says, it is what one consistently does. It lives at the intersection of words and actions, where integrity meets follow-through. When a message inspires and behaviour aligns, trust is built. It is through purpose, not titles, that momentum is generated. Hiring people for experience while teaching only basic people skills will not create leadership because communication plays a major role in trust and respect. Leadership is not about checking boxes, it is about modelling values, even when no one is watching. When it comes to culture, the most effective leaders do not merely preach it, they live it. The best leaders are often those who have a real understanding of people through lived experience, who lead by example, and who take accountability not only for a team but, more importantly, for themselves. It is not women who need to evolve, rather, organisations may need to adjust their definition of leadership.
When I train other therapists, the emphasis is not only on gaining knowledge and practical skills, but also on connection with people and the image they want to project in terms of their business. Often, that means less of the traditional formal approach and one that is led by compassion and empathy.
Healing represents a journey that evolves with each day, each client, and every moment of connection. My personal experiences with depression and self-harm have shaped my empathy and informed the way I lead. My leadership draws strength from past trauma, which increased my capacity to hold space for others, allowing them to process their own pain. Chronic pain from years of endometriosis has taught me about the body’s memory and its remarkable ability to adapt and heal. The grief of losing my children deepened my understanding of loss and resilience, equipping me to support others through their darkest moments.
Trauma does not define identity, limit worth, or restrict potential. Those experiences, while challenging, have become the driving force behind my contributions, empowering me to become who I am meant to be. By finding purpose in pain, I set an example for the industry, the public, those who caused me harm, and, most importantly, for myself, demonstrating that my story and survival carry immense value. My ability to guide others through their darkness creates an immeasurable impact that inspires countless individuals.
I believe that when we come together, when we uplift each other, we multiply our impact, not just in business but in families and communities. Part of leadership is also vulnerability. I am transparent with my clients and peers about my own challenges, my health journey, and balancing the struggles I have had and the times I have had to start over. I believe that authenticity builds trust, which is the basis of real change.
A lasting legacy
I hope that by modernising therapeutic practices, developing specialised services rooted in medical and surgical knowledge, and continuing to offer comprehensive training programs, new standards for inclusive care will emerge within the industry, benefiting both present and future generations. I believe that holistic healing achieves its true potential only through complete systems that uphold medical standards while embracing innovative methods addressing physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and energetic wellness.
To further develop the integrated healing and post-surgical rehabilitation process initiated last year, I encourage new therapists to challenge social and industrial boundaries, pursue advanced specialist training, and openly discuss prevailing stigmas. Through participation in training programs like mine, therapists will recognise the importance of combining medical and surgical knowledge with practical skills, greatly expanding access to specialised care across the UK and beyond. This approach ensures that clients receive more comprehensive treatment while reducing reliance on conventional medicine.
I also believe that pairing this methodology with community service amplifies its impact. It sets new standards for excellence within the therapy sector and beyond, influencing not only individual practitioners but also creating broader systemic change in healthcare. My vision ensures that every person, regardless of background or resources, has access to meaningful therapeutic care.
Care that adheres to a professional medical code and demonstrates empathy is what makes The Medical Massage Lady unique. My business stands apart in the holistic therapy industry because of my commitment to making innovative therapy, combining medical and holistic experience, available to everyone. My community service, educational leadership, and my authenticity in sharing my own challenges are what set me apart.
What makes my work compelling is not merely its breadth but its coherence. Every element, from my podcast and workshops to my guides and charity programs, circles back to a central philosophy, that adversity, when confronted, can become a source of transformation. I do not deny pain, nor do I romanticise it. I insist on facing it head-on, using my own life as a testament to the fact that survival can evolve into something greater.
In an era that thrives on superficial narratives of wellness, my voice is an antidote, unvarnished, unapologetic, and resolutely human. Healing is not about erasing scars but learning to live with them openly, because the most powerful transformations often begin in the places we least want to look.
Even after two global recognitions and awards, what matters most is the impact on the lives I have been able to touch. Fundraising for numerous charities supporting domestic abuse survivors, sexual assault victims, and those affected by honour-based abuse represents a small victory against the forces that once tried to destroy me.
My story is not unique in its elements. Too many women have walked similar paths of abuse, loss, and struggle. What makes it significant is the legacy I leave from transforming my pain into purpose, the systems I have helped change, and the awareness I have created. Every therapist I train goes on to help other survivors. Every survivor who heals goes on to break cycles of trauma in their own families and communities.
My story is not about perfection, it is about persistence. It is about proving that with resilience, strategy, and support, you can rewrite your story. My hope is that when people learn of that story, they do not just see a business owner, they see possibilities for themselves. Because at the end of the day, my work is about more than making money. It is about freedom, it is about confidence, and it is about legacy. It is about showing the next generation that they do not have to just survive, they can thrive.
Your trauma does not define your worth or limit your potential. The experiences that nearly destroyed you can become your greatest contributions to the world. Reverting to the person you used to be years ago is not what healing means, it is about becoming who you are meant to be. It is about learning to carry your experiences in a way that empowers rather than imprisons you, and finding purpose in the pain. Your story matters. Your survival matters. And your potential to help others through their darkness is immeasurable.
This is the legacy we leave behind, not just in the lives we directly touch, but in the ripple effects of healing that spread far beyond what we can see or measure, the human story of resilience, redemption, and the unbreakable power of the human spirit to rise from the ashes and soar.
Read more from Sam Mishra
Sam Mishra, The Medical Massage Lady
Sam Mishra (The Medical Massage Lady), is a multi-award winning massage therapist, aromatherapist, accredited course tutor, oncology and lymphatic practitioner, trauma practitioner, breathwork facilitator, reiki and intuitive energy healer, transformational and spiritual coach and hypnotherapist. Her medical background as a nurse and a midwife, combined with her own experiences of childhood disability and abuse, have resulted in a diverse and specialised service, but she is mostly known for her trauma work. She is motivated by the adversity she has faced, using it as a driving force in her charity work and in offering the vulnerable a means of support. Her aim is to educate about medical conditions using easily understood language, to avoid inappropriate treatments being carried out, and for health promotion purposes in the general public. She is also becoming known for challenging the stigmas in our society and pushing through the boundaries that have been set by such stigmas within the massage industry.
