From Crohn’s to Confidence: Reclaiming Your Body When It Feels Out of Your Control
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 2
- 5 min read
Written by Amritta Kaur Dhillon, Online Fitness Coach
Reets is a leading voice in women’s fitness, mindset, and hormone health, and the host of the Get Buff with Reets podcast. As founder of Get Buff With Reets and creator of the Buff Rewire System, she helps ambitious women lose fat, build muscle, and reclaim confidence without sacrificing their careers or personal lives.
By the time I was seven years old, I already knew what it felt like for my own body to betray me. Crohn’s disease is not gentle. It arrived during childhood with hospital visits, relentless fatigue, and the daily reminder that I could not trust my body to behave the way I needed it to.
When the foundation of your existence feels unstable, you grow up fast. You also begin searching for any way to take back control; we’ll come back to that later.
Alongside illness came cultural pressures. In many South Asian households, a woman’s body is rarely a private matter; it is a conversational point. Every family gathering came with commentary: “You’ve lost weight,” “You’ve gained weight,” “You look tired.” These weren’t intended as cruel remarks, yet they carried a weight of their own. Each comment reinforced a truth I already felt: my body was not fully mine. It was open for observation, judgment, and approval from others.
This combination of illness and cultural expectation shaped the lens through which I viewed myself. It created both a profound vulnerability and, eventually, a determination to reclaim autonomy over my life.
The experience of losing autonomy
Living with a chronic illness such as Crohn’s is a daily negotiation with unpredictability. Some days I felt strong; on others, even leaving the house or managing the smallest tasks demanded everything I had. For years, I felt as though my body dictated the terms of my life: my energy, my choices, my ambitions.
When so much is outside of your control, there is a natural instinct to cling to the areas that remain. For me, that manifested through fitness. At first, it was rigid and unforgiving, tracking every calorie, refusing to miss a session, overtraining, and undereating, convinced that this discipline would somehow compensate for what my body lacked. I believed that if Crohn’s did not own my body, then I did.
Yet over time, something shifted. Training became less about control and more about resilience and strength. I no longer wanted to feel weak from overtraining and undereating; I wanted to feel strong, powerful, and empowered by my training. The gym took on a completely new meaning: a space where effort consistently translated into progress. It was like unlocking the next level in a game. The gym was no longer a place for punishment; it became a place for growth.
Fitness as an anchor of resilience
Strength training has a very unique quality. Progressive overload, lifting a little more, improving your form, watching your own progress, and seeing your body change and grow, reinforces the belief that growth is possible. Your mindset evolves just as quickly as your body.
For me, lifting weights was not about achieving an ideal body type or reaching for an aesthetic ideal. It was about building evidence of resilience, one session at a time. I didn’t want to fit into a box; I wanted to create something different: a body that was strong, muscular, and unapologetically powerful, after spending my entire life up to this point trying to shrink.
When everything else felt uncertain, training offered a clear roadmap: consistent effort equals tangible progress. Over the years, that formula rebuilt my confidence from the ground up.
From control to compassion
The most significant lesson I learned was that confidence does not emerge from controlling the body; it comes from collaborating with it.
In the beginning, I believed strictness and discipline were the solutions. But chronic illness revealed the limits of that approach. I would get to a point and suddenly my body would incapacitate me; the harder I pushed, the harder my body pushed back. The human body does not respond well to punishment; it responds to compassion.
When I began to train in support of my body rather than in opposition to it, everything changed. Nutrition became fuel rather than restriction. Exercise became empowerment rather than penance. And self-worth detached from size or weight, becoming instead rooted in strength, resilience, and self-trust.
A universal struggle
Not every woman will face Crohn’s disease or chronic illness, but many will understand the feeling of disconnection from their body.
The fine balancing act of career success with declining energy.
The mother whose own needs are perpetually overlooked.
The woman is caught in cycles of dieting, shame, and exhaustion.
In different forms, the common theme is the same: a sense of lost ownership.
This is where fitness, approached through the right lens, becomes transformative. It is not about perfection or punishment. It is about building trust, showing yourself, through small, consistent actions, that you are capable of growth, even in the midst of unpredictability.
The evidence behind the experience
Research only confirms what lived experience taught me. Resistance training is consistently linked to improvements in mental health and resilience. A 2021 study in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that strength training significantly reduced symptoms of depression in women. The American Psychological Association highlights exercise as one of the most effective tools for regulating stress and mood.
But beyond the data, here is the reality: strength training gives women back something they often feel they have lost, ownership of their bodies and trust in their ability to adapt. Science validates it. Life proves it.
Practical first steps
If you want to begin reclaiming confidence, start small. One action, done consistently, is more powerful than an unsustainable overhaul.
Walk with intention: Ten minutes outdoors each morning isn’t just steps; it is proof that you can prioritise yourself first.
Water before coffee: Anchor your day in nourishment, not stimulation. A simple ritual that reminds you your body deserves care before productivity.
One line of reflection: Write a single sentence at the end of the day. Not a full journal, just one thought. Over time, you will see patterns in energy, choices, and emotions.
These are not grand gestures, but they are votes of confidence. And votes, repeated daily, create identity.
The future self mindset
The pivotal moment in my journey came when I stopped asking, “Why me?” and instead asked, “Who do I want to become through this?” That question reframed illness not as a limitation, but as a catalyst.
Your future self is shaped not by circumstances, but by choices. Crohn’s will always be part of my reality, but it no longer defines me. What defines me is the resilience built through adversity and the confidence that continues to grow from it.
Closing reflection
The body may not always be predictable. Illness, stress, or circumstance may, at times, feel overwhelming. But resilience and confidence are never out of reach. Every decision, however small it is, is an act of reclaiming power.
Confidence is not reserved for women with perfect bodies, but what is a perfect body, really? (A question I’ll revisit another time.) It belongs to those who rise, again and again, regardless of the challenges they face. That is what Crohn’s taught me, and it is what I teach now: your strength is not defined by what happens to you, but by how you choose to meet it.
Read more from Amritta Kaur Dhillon
Amritta Kaur Dhillon, Online Fitness Coach
Reets is a women’s fitness and mindset coach who began her journey trying to lose weight and feel confident again. After years of chasing every fad diet and extreme approach, she discovered that most fitness advice was male-led and didn’t account for hormones, mindset, or the realities of a busy life and the weight of holding it all together. That realisation led her to create the Buff Rewire System a method that helps ambitious women get strong, lean, and confident without burning out.
Blending strength training, hormone-informed coaching, and sustainable habit design, Reets now helps women around the world ditch all-or-nothing thinking and finally achieve results that last.
