Updated: Dec 9, 2020
Written by: Sandra D´Angelo, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever had a feeling of being unfulfilled, as if something's missing?
A couple of years ago, I had such a feeling. Everything looked great on the outside, and I was in a very comfortable situation in my life, both personally and professionally. But the feeling persisted and kept saying, “this cannot be it.” My gut feeling was telling me that there was more out there for me, and I could not sit back and neglect it.
As the days passed, something occurred to me. I had a big “a-ha” moment, as if a light bulb above my head had suddenly been switched on. What occurred to me had a big impact on my whole life, and it is something that I frequently use while working with my clients in order to help them create the life they desire.
And now, I want to share that experience with you.
There are so many individuals who share the feeling of “this cannot be it.” They might contemplate about the possibility that there is more out there for them and talk about it regularly. Ultimately, they end up doing nothing about it. Why does that happen?
There are, of course, many different reasons for lack of change in one´s situation. Some people spend years or even their entire lives being stuck and not digging deeper to find the source of their obstacles in order to maximize their potential.
That´s why constantly working on personal development and mindset is so important.
I have outlined three common barriers which individuals frequently come across:
Fear of failure, of not being accepted, of not being liked, of uncertainty, of leaving your comfort zone, of success, of being yourself, of the unknown, of standing up for yourself etc., there are so many different fears that might keep you stuck.
In order to overcome your fear, you need to be aware of it first. There might be more than one fear and more than one layer to it. Once you´ve done your self-exploration work and have become aware of the fear that holds you back, the best way to face the fear is by taking action.
When you find yourself in a situation where you feel stuck and might be afraid to move on, start by asking yourself these simple questions:
What is the worst that can happen?
What is the best that can happen?
What if I do nothing and then regret it afterward? How will I feel?
2. “Victim” Mentality
Being the “victim” in your own life is a very passive way of living. It is the belief that other people, situations and/or events determine your success or lack thereof.
Your mindset is focused on blaming rather than taking responsibility.
By playing the “Blame Game”, you live in the past. You focus on what went wrong, how something/somebody is responsible; you run away from taking ownership and facing the problem.
Taking responsibility is not about feeling bad or wrong. It is about focusing on the present and future and accepting that you have choices ahead of you.
Responsibility isn’t a burden. It is being in control and having the power to change the situation you are in.
If you catch yourself drifting in the wrong direction, take a step back and look at the "bigger picture." Ask yourself:
What can I learn from the situation?
What skill can I develop from the situation?
What can I do in order to improve the situation moving forward?
3. Lack of self-reflection
Today´s fast-paced way of living makes it so easy to fall into the trap of “not having enough time.” In particular, not having enough time to reflect on where you are in your life and how you feel about where you are.
Being on the constant go makes it difficult to pause and spend quality time on the most important and precious part of your life – yourself.
Self-reflection is a very broad subject and an ongoing activity. In order to raise your awareness level; you can start by asking yourself these questions:
Am I where I want to be?
Am I doing what I want to do?
Am I who I want to be?
Could it be that I am trying to fit expectations and norms that are dictated by other outside factors?
What would the older and wiser version of me have to say about where I currently am in my life?
What helped me were four simple words: I have a choice.
Ultimately, everything in your life is your choice. From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep.
Every. Single. Day.
You choose what to think, what to do, what to say, how to react in different situations, who you associate with, how you spend your time… Not choosing anything is also a choice.
What I have learned from my own experience is: Choose-Decide-Act. It is all about understanding that you have a choice -> making a decision & staying committed to it-> taking action.
In terms of taking action, each step does not have to be a leap to be meaningful and impactful. No matter the size of the step you take, it is about moving forward and towards your goal.
Life is full of learning experiences and joyful moments.
And it might not be the easiest path to take; there will be highs and lows. While you aim for the highs but experience lows, remember to always have your own back.
Because at the end of the day, life is too short and time is too precious to let it pass by unfulfilled right in front of you.
Sandra D´Angelo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sandra D´Angelo is a full-time Certified Life Coach & Trainer dedicated to coaching Business Professionals in being more successful and making a bigger impact in their careers & privately. Sandra believes that every individual can achieve whatever they set their mind to and that all that they need is already within them. She helps them analyze where they currently are, where they want to be, then work on bridging that gap through her specific coaching program. Sandra holds an MBA in Communications & PR and has years of experience working in sales & consulting in Switzerland and Germany. Including building two successful business units from scratch. Before becoming self-employed, consulting & coaching have always been a part of Sandra´s professional life. Behind her is a strong track record of professionals from different backgrounds who she helped to explore their true potential and create the lives they want.