Feminine Energy – The Velvet-Covered Brick
Written by: Eric Deeter, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
In 2019, Maggie Guterl ran for 60 hours straight to become the first woman to win Big’s Backyard Ultra. She ran a total of 250 miles in this “last man standing” ultramarathon, also known as the race with no end. Runners must line up at the starting line at the top of every hour to run a 4.1666-mile loop. The race lasts until only one person is left standing. The last runner standing was always male until Maggie’s win in 2019.
Some so-called experts have questioned how it is that women seem able to compete head-to-head with men in ultra distances of 100 miles or more. I suspect that most of these conversations are initiated by men. And, as a man, I’m willing to go out on a limb and risk offering an opinion.
I believe that women excel at ultramarathons and extreme endurance sports because of an overlooked aspect of feminine energy.
A quick internet search will give you plenty of opinions about the difference between masculine and feminine energy. Here is a simple and general summary of the traits of each:
Masculine Energy
Logical
Action
ask-oriented
Assertive
Focused
Feminine Energy
Intuitive
Emotion
Relationship-oriented
Compliant
Creative
The traits of masculine and feminine energy are not restricted to gender. We all operate out of both masculine and feminine energy to some degree. There are some exceptions, but men and women typically do tend to approach life mainly through their corresponding energy traits.
However, the pundits who discuss women’s ability to excel at ultramarathons are missing an important trait of feminine energy: the power to endure, to persevere.
Most of these pundits speculate that women are more intuitive and, therefore, more aware of the needs of their bodies. This allows them to manage their energy and head off physical breakdowns before they become race-ending injuries.
The characteristics of feminine energy are usually filled with “soft” words. Let’s call these “velvet” words. Masculine energy, on the other hand, is filled with “leather” words. Tough versus soft. It’s true that feminine energy may be velvet on the surface. But that velvet covers a solid brick. I think it is the “brick” of feminine energy that gives women a level playing field in long-distance races.
The core of feminine energy is the power to endure and persevere.
I am an ultramarathon runner and a mindset coach. I talk to my clients about having a mindset for “mile 73.” The average runner arrives at mile 73 in the middle of the night, tired, chaffed in unexpected places, feet blistered, and with pains that threaten a DNF: did not finish. A strong mindset is required for success. And the mindset a runner needs at mile 73 is firmly rooted in feminine energy. Those who use masculine energy to deal with mile 73 are asking for trouble.
Masculine energy is focused on power and strength. Using this as your mindset will lead to trying to resist, push aside, and ignore the physical pain. This mindset also sets your mind as the boss-who-must-be-obeyed. The boss who acts like a tyrant and bully can get you to do more than you thought you could. But you will reach a breaking point and quit. The proverb is true: What you resist will persist. When you use power to combat pain and fatigue, they often strike back with a vengeance before the end of the race.
Feminine energy takes the opposite approach. Feminine energy accepts the circumstances and the emotions that come along with them. Feminine energy is willing to experience the pain, the tiredness, and the problems without resisting. This “soft” approach is not a weakness, nor is it a surrender. Rather it’s an acceptance of present reality and a quiet assurance that these problems will eventually pass. When you use acceptance to deal with pain and fatigue, they usually diminish and slip away as you keep moving forward.
Successful ultramarathon runners will use masculine energy to pop the blisters, put body lube in places where there is chafing, and eat and drink to fuel themselves. But it’s the feminine energy that deals with the emotions and the inner voice saying, “Let’s quit now.” It’s the feminine energy that takes the power out of those emotions by quietly accepting them and continuing to move forward.
Feminine energy is at the core of the ultramarathon mindset. It is the velvet brick that will overcome and outlast any challenge that comes your way.
The ultramarathon mindset isn’t restricted to running long distances. The popular saying should be, “Life is an ultra-marathon.” So the feminine energy you need to handle challenges at “mile 73” will work for anything life hands you.
Here are the three steps to using an ultramarathon mindset to respond to any challenge.
1. Acceptance over resistance.
A lot of things can go wrong in a 100-mile race. You can make small errors that spiral into major problems. Or it could be circumstances beyond your control. Accept what is and move forward.
2. Feeling versus a firewall.
Your mind is powerful. And your first instinct is to put up a barrier to anything unpleasant, difficult, or painful. This masculine-energy approach might work in the short term. But it is a superpower if you are willing to feel every emotion.
3. Flow versus fix-it
When challenges come, let your thoughts and emotions be in flow. You don’t need to fix your feelings. You should, of course, use masculine energy to fix any physical challenges. But your emotions will flow and eventually settle when you let them.
The words and images associated with feminine energy have the feel of velvet when compared to the “leather” words associated with masculine energy. But don’t mistake that softness for anything close to weakness. Those very traits that make up the softness of feminine energy are what make the brick inside so formidable.
Eric Deeter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Eric Deeter is an entrepreneur, published author, certified life coach, podcaster, and barefoot/minimalist ultramarathon runner. He says that the mindset for life transformation and the mindset for ultramarathon running is the same. A goal that seems impossible at first becomes a reasonable challenge to work towards. He helps his clients discover and go after their EPIC THING: that big dream or goal they have put away in the back corner of their minds.
