Fear of Missing Out – Here's How to Change Your Perspective

In the era of social media, it’s become hard to recognize achievements. The second you open any social media app, there’s always someone doing it better. They have better friends, better lifestyle, better grades, better everything. You can’t help thinking that everyone has it figured out but you. The intense feeling of missing out starts becoming a major part of your life, and you no longer can enjoy little moments or feel any reward after achieving your goals. Why? Because someone has it better, which can increase feelings of depression and anxiety. 

The phenomenon known as the fear of missing out isn’t new. In fact, it’s been around for centuries. But today, with social media playing a huge role in our lives, it’s a widespread topic of discussion among psychologists and regular people. According to Cornell Chronicle, almost 69% of Americans say they’ve experienced FOMO. 

Not many individuals, however, understand the whole truth behind it. While some people definitely have a good life, others mostly make up picture-perfect experiences to make their social media followers jealous and prove that their lives are perfect (which isn’t always true). 

To better understand the concept of FOMO and learn how to deal with it, continue reading this article.

Examples of FOMO situations

Social life

• You see friends’ Instagram stories from a party you weren’t invited to, and suddenly feel left out, even though you were fine staying at home. You think that this experience is important and that spending time with those people will make your life more fulfilled. While it’s a natural human reaction to want to be closer to people, not all of them can actually be your friends. 

• You’re invited to an event you weren’t planning on going to, but eventually agree because you’ll miss out on things that everyone will talk about later. For you, it doesn’t matter whether you’re exhausted after work or just want to have some alone time, the thought of not going drives you nuts because feeling excluded is much worse.

• It’s Saturday night, and you’ve decided to stay at home. However, you feel a little uneasy and constantly check your phone, wondering if something fun is happening without you. What if there’s a party in the block you weren’t invited to? Or what if your friends went out but forgot about you? After you realize there’s nothing to worry about, you start feeling a little better.

  
  

Work & career

• You’re doing great at your job, but all of a sudden you’re offered some extra projects you want to say no to but… you can’t. You see that your colleagues agree to additional tasks and don’t want to fall behind. What if somebody else gets a promotion because of this? You feel like you can’t risk it, even though you’ve got plans after work. The fear of missing out on career opportunities is unbearable, so you take up this extra work.

• You open LinkedIn and feel anxious about your peers getting promotions. And you’re not thinking about the fact that they’ve been in the industry for many years. In fact, you think that you want the same and feel like you’re missing out.

• You attend conferences or networking events “just in case,” scared of skipping out on potential opportunities. And even though deep down you realize that some events might not be as efficient, you still go because what if?

  
  

Money & purchases

• You buy something during a “limited-time offer” even though you didn’t plan to. The thought of not having something that comes cheap makes you uneasy as you think others are now taking advantage of the price. 

• You upgrade your phone even though your current one works just fine. After you see a new iPhone is out, you can’t help but buy a new one so others can see that you’re doing well in life. With everyone bragging about their new devices on social media, you’re scared of feeling left behind.

• You open your friend’s Facebook profile and spot a post with their new car. And the worst thing is that…you’re using public transportation. You feel like you’re losing out and begin searching online, thinking, “Can I even afford the same vehicle?” You don’t think this person could take out a loan to buy this car. You only see the end goal and want to have the same.
  

Quiet FOMO

• You’ve had a hard day at work and want to do nothing, but the thought of not doing anything can’t help you relax. “What if someone is achieving their goals right now, and I’m out here chilling?” 

• You meet a friend who’s telling you about their life and wonder, “Why don’t I have the same? What am I doing wrong?” But here, you’re not taking into account their childhood or the help they’ve been receiving from their parents or partner. You only compare the result, which doesn’t have the same starting point or the same support system.

• Whenever you go, you’re confident everyone knows what they’re doing. That office worker you see in the window? He’s probably on a high salary he can afford anything he wants with. That bride who’s getting married and looks happy? She probably found a perfect husband. Anyone you see seems perfect, but you don’t feel the same way about yourself. 
  

How to get rid of the fear of missing out: Practical tips

1. Realize you’re a human

Humans are hardwired to experience certain emotions, and FOMO is one of them. It’s a natural response rooted in our need for belonging and connection. Our brains are constantly scanning for signals that we might be missing out on something important. The main takeaway from this is that you don’t need to beat yourself up for wanting more. The only solution is to be realistic. 

2. Define your “enough”

FOMO thrives when success is undefined. It’s a good idea to get a journal and ask yourself, “What actually matters to me right now?” Clearly think about what would be “enough” in this season of life. That way, it’ll be easier for you to understand your actual desires.

3. Limit trigger exposure

Some triggers, such as using social media too much, might make you feel on the sidelines. So the best solution is to avoid those triggers as much as you can. Mute accounts that spark comparison, avoid scrolling when in a bad mood, and set a time limit for using social media (e.g., 20 minutes a day).

4. Concentrate more on real life

It’s effective to step outside and see what’s happening around you. Talking to the neighbor who lives across the street or spending some time with less fortunate people might give you a moment of realization that not everyone has it all figured out. While some people exaggerate their experiences, others are realistic about their struggles.

5. Remember: Wanting everything = enjoying nothing

In a world that tells us that “we’re supposed to have it all,” it’s important to take a step back and enjoy what we already have. While it might be difficult at the beginning, you’ll eventually learn how rewarding it is. 

Let’s reflect a little

That anxious feeling that makes people feel bad about missing out on opportunities is known as the fear of missing out. Lately, it’s become a widely discussed topic, but a little more awareness never hurts. 

There are ways that prove to be effective in managing this feeling, such as limiting trigger exposure and defining what’s enough, among others. Learning to recognize it, however, is the most important aspect that begins the process of overcoming it.